epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: The Dirt + Us + Hazing Secret + Christie's Revenge + Nightworld 😢😒😢😒😢😒

The Dirt (2016)

This was a good autobiography of Motley Crue. Iwan Rheon co-stats as the endlessly laid back guitar player who never seems to indulge in any of his bandmates endless excess. There is public sex and an angry teen renames himself Nikki Sixx and berates his useless uncaring mother (Kathryn Morris of 'Colony' and 'Cold Case').

Sixx ends up homeless yet somehow puts together a band that is morally and strategically unsustainable. Tommy Lee came from a normal suburban home yet had moral inconsistency. The band did not engage meaningfully with women.

They feel creatively frustrated and have deep unworthiness and wary belligerence. They are moody and egocentric and have medicore talent and utter lumpen dialogue. They get into fights with the audience and things that are not hugely dramatic or eventful happen. They have ego and little more skill than the average reality show contestant. Yet they get fame and accumulating misery and violent outbursts.

There are troubling cirumstances and nudity and the band are troublingly unrepentant. Meta-critical comments on the film making process are made straight to camera. There is testosterone which leads to unfelicities, drugs, t&a, impetuous decisions, ferocity and cops. Were they really era defining? Ozzy shows up to snort ants.

Tommy Lee meets Heather Locklear and the lead singer Vince has a drunken car crash and kills someone. Sixx becomes a heroin addict and Vince goes to jail. The band seem callous, calculating, remorseless and dangerous. Vince is conscience stricken over killing somone. This is a combative narrative of sheer destructiveness. Sixx's mother calls begging for contact. The band are a rage mob.

Sixx pukes on a stripper and his reunion with his mother goes wrong. Then he makes a scene at Tommy Lee's wedding to Heather Locklear. Sixx shoots up $1000 a day of heroin. There are cameos by actors playing Slash and David Lee Roth. Sixx ODs and then does more heroin. There is toxic stress and perverse contempt and marriage breakups and Vince quits and things get high intensity. Vince's ex-wife is played by Glimmer from 'The Hunger Games'.

Motley Crue act like 14 year old edgelords. This was not impressively nasty and the band are questionably repentant. There is declining popularity, overlarge veneers and Vince's daughter dies of cancer. The guitarist stares and Tommy Lee cheats and gets divorced. Tommy Lee punches things. Pamela Anderson and the two sons Tommy Lee had with her don't feature in this movie.

Nikki Sixx's bio-dad dies and Sixx meets a half-brother. There is an air of faux danger and discordant music. The band reunite and play their forgettable music once more. This was okay and much is excused. It reminds me of those who say that the violent animal abusing girlfriend killer Sid Vicious was actually smart and that he wore Nazi iconography ironically.

Best Lines:

“Stupid haircuts.”

“Shooting up at my wedding!”

“Tommy and his sketchy friends.”

“Born in the wrong time.”

“Makes a lot of bad choices.”

“Trying to prove how punk I am.”

“Motley Crue did stupid things.”

“Another you tomorrow anyway.”

“Unwanted children.”

“Fight each other on stage last time.”

“A cover band singer.”

“Parents be warned.”

“Remember pissing on that cop car last night?”

“Have a great life with your porno slut!”

“The cops kicked in our door so many times we had to nail it shut.”

Us (2019)

Elisabeth Moss of 'The Handmaid's Tale' co-stars in this okay if not era-defining movie that while funny and creepy never becomes a coherent satisfying whole. This doppelganger horror has exposition, dance, violence, an ill-advised Jackson t-shirt, blood and a final hideous secret twist I guessed from the start.

Best Line:

“What's 'Home Alone'?”

Hazing Secret (2014)

Bitches bully and they kill someone. There is a reunion and 'amnesia' and short shorts. The narratives people create around the nature of their relationships isn't explored. This dumbness causes displeasure with its false jeopardy and skanks with unflinching spite and rabid contempt who are incapable of sensible action. This was highly unpleasant nonsence that exists to no sensible end and the baddie is obvious.

Christie's Revene (2007)

John Wesley Shipp stars in this tale of a man targed by a nutjob. He has a dumb wife, a brat daughter who can't act and a skank niece who tries to be the orchestrator of his downfall. The niece has a dumb sidekick and the acting is bad in this ill advised mess.

Best Line:

“Are you happy with yourself?”

Nightworld (2017)

Oh Jason London and Robert Englund, this is what you are reduced to?

Tags: flash, game of thrones, handmaids tale, movie review

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