epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Review: Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea (1961)

Irwin Allen directed this movie which became a TV show. Joan Fontaine, Barbara Eden, Peter Lorre, Michael Ansara and Frankie Avalon star. There is a silly theme song. There is a super-sub that looks like a bathtoy. This was not rewarding or challenging. People perfomatively don’t like things. This was low grade and it has many enraging tendencies. This was not startlingly good and was in fact essentially meaningless.

The sub has a window and this was tragic and awful. The Earth starts to melt or something in this meagre and unbeloved movie. There is weary anger and no melancholy or self-awareness. This was done with grim determination but no enthusiasm and there is no sense of menace. This was pointless and purgatorial. This was airless and uninteresting. The sub’s nutty leader plans to stop the Earth melting by firing an atomic missile. This was grim and one-dimensional.

This sucks out all joy and love. This was full of comically ignorant people who are fatally complacent and wilfully deluded. This was terribly unconvincing and dignity-shredding. Big talking words are used and nobody is concerned in the slightest about quality.

Best Lines:

“Thermal conditions.”

“A baby that’s new in the family.”

“The world will burn with it.”

“No world at all.

“Imminent death.”

“Riots and pestilence sweep the land.”
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