epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Retro Reviews: Babylon 5 3x22&4x04+Batman (1966-1968) 1x01 👀🤣❤💕💖🌹💋🐱‍🏍🐱‍🏍🐱‍🏍💋💋🐱‍👓😘😘

Z'Ha'Dum

Delenn babbles, Sheridan shows no sincere grief for Anna and Delenn is particularly unpleasant. Sheridan sticks loyally by Delenn, he's so whipped. Delenn is hideously selfish and makes grandiose claims that are well beyond her actual abilities. Melissa Gilbert is the 2nd actress to play Anna Sheridan and she has a girly voice.


What is the point of yet another Shadow lackey? Justin speaks very slowly as through reading his lines badly off cue cards. Garibaldi goes missing. NO ONE cares. Bruce Boxleitner and his then wife Gilbert interact. This ep was particularly undignifed. Why is there a large dome window in the Shadow's underground city on Z'Ha'Dum?


Anna's comment about time not working right on Z'Ha'Dum is ignored. Delenn lies. Londo whines and who was Morden's boot boy? IPX found Z'Ha'Dum by planting a homing device on a Shadow ship. Delenn is unsorry about her lies and bad moral choices. She has no contrition. Storm clouds are gathering against Sheridan, who doesn't mention Morden to Anna. She was the passion of his life but she has fallen fatally from grace. Which is not a personal tragedy to him.


Sheridan goes with Anna to Z'Ha'Dum and Morden is there. There are shady hidden motives. The Shadows show up to attack B5 and then just leave. Sheridan has lordly indifference to Anna's fate. This ep decimates credibility. Before being carried off by a Shadow ship, Garibaldi unquestioningly obeys Sheridan but in season 4, Sheridan and everyone else treat him like something scraped off their shoe.


This ep is largely defunct. There are contrivances and nefarious tactics. Delenn capriciously patronises, cajoles, mainipulates, bullies and has callous indifference. She's an out of control lunatic. There is nothing about this I like and I find nothing likeable about Delenn. Justin and his weird diction talks and talks and talks. Was he some bum on the street who TPTB felt sorry for and who they gave a part to out of pity?


G'Kar makes another long boring speech. The characters are absurd. Why does Delenn exert such influence on Sheridan? To hell with Sheridan's heroic characterization – he's a selfish narcissistic glory hound not a steadfast strategic leader. There is no sense of dread. Delenn causes havoc. Delenn should be completely distrusted. She's a moral failure. This ep was depressing mediocrity.


Justin is crumudgeonly, difficult, egotistical, self-important and worse. Delenn's unrepentant. There are no great flourishes. I'm genuinely replused by this.


Best Lines:

“As soon as it was exposed to daylight.”


“Very dramatic name.”


~
Falling Toward Apotheosis

A Vorlon planet killer lurks and Ivanova is now a news anchor. There is bad acting and naff opening credits. Sheridan and his creepy and never explained alien sidekick Lorien prance around B5. Sheridan is treated as Jesus and nobody takes issue with this. Morden's alive and crusty looking. Garibaldi is back. NOBODY cares. Garibaldi points out how badly his return is being greeted in sharp contrast to Sheridan being lickarsed by everyone. NO ONE listens.


Londo blusters. The mad Centauri Emperor babbles. The previous Emperor's telepaths are nowhere to be seen. Sheridan lickarses Delenn. FFS! Sheridan wants the Vorlon gone. Garibaldi is treated badly. Kosh 2 acts like an abusive dick to Lyta. Nobody cares. Sheridan has only 20 years of life left to him. Delenn makes it all about her. Wahh wah wha. Delenn really is an ignorant bitch and Sheridan is a manic obsessive psycho but TPTB think this is serious and intense but instead it fails utterly.


Best Lines:

“After that part.”


“They are irrelevant.”


~
Hi Diddle Riddle

This pilot sees the Riddler and his green leotard strike. Batman and Robin oppose him. There is no origin story for them, other than Bruce (Adam West) saying his parents were murdered by dastardly criminals. Alfred is Bruce's ever present perma-tanned butler. Bruce has a young ward named Dick Grayson (Burt Ward, I had SUCH a crush on him as a kid). Aunt Harriet lurks so Bruce having a 15 year old boy hanging around him doesn't look suspect: it doesn't work.


The opening credits are memorable. Jill St. John and Frank Gorshin guest star. Who is Inspector Basch? Why is Robin always holding onto the batmobile windshield? Is it to do with Burt Ward's claim that he was hurled out of the batmobile when his door flew open during a turn? Batman seems jealous of Robin having a female fan and seems to check out his ass as they wall walk. Robin fights crime in elf boots and his underpants. No comment.


There is a hilarious bathook gag. Riddler plans a ONE MILLION DOLLAR lawsuit against the duo. He's absolutely opposed to the dynamic duo! St. John eats from a HUGE jar of caviar. Bruce worries about the loss of his goodwill and reputation. Why is there a red light on the batmobile? Robin isn't allowed into a disco as he's underage. Riddler is meancing. Robin drives the batmobile about 2 feet. Batman is roofied and dances. Robin's in peril as he's abducted by Riddler. Citizens watch and do nothing. The bat signal is seen. This was okay. Robin is in a vice as the Riddler leers over him. That's disturbing. Again Robin is 15 so why is Batman always placing him in danger while acting fiercely protective of him?


Best Lines:

“Hiss his diabolical enemies!”


“Anti-crime centers.”


“I shouldn't wish to attract attention.”


“My value as a secret crime fighter.”


“His youthful aide.”


“Evil Molehill mob.”


“Fish eggs.”


“You're his deadly nemesis!”


“You interest me. Strangely.”


“Maybe your mind's on that cute little teenager who waved to you on the way across town?”


“What Master Dick has been doing on these supposed fishing trips of yours.”


Tags: babylon 5, batman1966
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