epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Land Of The Giants (1968-1970) 1x01&1x02+Babylon 5 3x20&3x21+Condor (2018-?) 1x01&1x02 Reviewed

The Crash

This has memorable cheesy opening credits, a kid actor and it was created by Irwin Allen. A shuttle heads for London. There are talk of powercells. They land but not in London. There are giants out there. A coward is cowardly. 2 people are sellotaped down and tormented by giants. A dog is in peril. This was unintentionally funny and fairly ludicrious. The giants have malign attentions and the situation is hopeless and this serves no narrative purpose whatsoever.

Best Lines:

“Solar turbulence area.”

“Tower clearance.”

“Something out there. I just hope it didn't see us.”

“Calling Spindrift.”

“This is the bottom of the barrell.”

Ghost Town
Chipper the dog is in peril. A giant pants over the heroes like a sex offender. The bad child actor is feared dead. This is not something profound. The heroes are trapped in a minature town.

Best Line:
"As American as pizza pie."

And The Rock Cried Out No Hiding Place

Telepaths are used as weapons. Did anyone ask? Is this voluntary? Londo plots against G'Kar and Refa. Religious leaders visit, again. A gospel choir sing. Sheridan is an insecure moronic lunatic. Delenn babytalks. Sheridan has a special war-room to oversee the Shadow War. Kosh is dead. Londo bullies Vir. Despite being cut off from Earth, Sheridan and co drink Ty Nant. Ivanova has poufy hair. Refa bullies Vir. There is talking and no inherent watchability.

Sheridan sees what no-one else does. Londo plots and shrugs off his part in the attack on the Narn homeworld. Refa dies as the gospel choir sing. Delenn unveils the White Star fleet. This narrative murk was entirely ill-advised.

Best Lines:

“Ugly rumours.”

“The last war.”

Shadow Dancing

Delenn whines and demands trust but lies. Sheridan gives orders. Piss off. Melissa Gilbert guest stars as Anna Sheridan. Franklin gets stabbed after ditching his duties to do some navel gazing. Sheridan goes through wives like other people go through underpants. There is sexism. Marcus loves Ivanova. She treats him like trash. Who's running the station when the senior staff are off following God Emperor Sheridan's wankfest? Delenn watches Sheridan sleep. WTF? Delenn knew Anna was alive all along! The bad kind of strife happens. Delenn is street meat.

What Loneliness

Loners, grifters, no talent schemers and people with bogus non-careers lurk. There is bitter mediocrity and callous deceptions by morally bankrupt people. This show is not a cultural fixation. Nasty pieces of trash lurk. Grim and unjust things happen. This was void of any depth. Max Irons of 'The White Queen' stars alongside William Hurt, Kristen Hager of 'Gotham' and 'Valemont', Mira Sorvino, Gage Graham-Arbuthnot, Kristoffer Polaha of 'Ringer', Brendan Fraser, Kate Vernon and Allison Hossack.

Sour faced people lurk. Vile nasty pieces of work lurk. A man looks into the abyss and regrets everything. There is no moral justice. There is a sustained level of malice. People look at a device. Somone is out there playing with weaponized plague. A hit squad kills people.

Best Lines:

“Denotates what?”

“All the good wars were already over.”

The Solution To All Problems

The opening credits debut. Joe (Max Irons) is on the run. People blather about kinetic training. Some dumb bint annoys. So much for fighting violent maniacs. Joe has been framed and disavowed by his employers. People put the hurt on others. This was universally loathed. There is an ethical lack. There are so many stupid women in this show. This was not a dynamic launch.

Best Lines:

“This is not who I am.”

“Underachieves at every stage.”

“Just more thems.”

“Smug sense of purpose.”

“Don't touch me ever.”

“I do not want to be here!”

“Then go!”

“I can't!”

“Can you stay alive till 5 o'clock?”

Tags: babylon 5, review, the white queen

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