epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: 47 Metres Down +The Descent part 2 +Redwood +Stand By Me +Horns + 1 other

47 Metres Down (2016)

Mandy Moore and Matthew Modine star. Sharks are an ever present threat. This was not absolutely terrifying.Two sisters decide to go cave diving with sharks. The sharks have a certain malevolence. Modine runs a glowering fly by night operation. One sister can't even dive. Sea life is violent and menacing. The cage winch breaks and the cage sinks.

I'm not sure of the characters names. There is a quest for a flashlight. A whiny one gets lost. There is exposition. Nothing goes right and one watches this with bored eyes. Logic is not a deep concern. The devastating repercussions of going with a cheapo dive company are obvious. There is a twist.

Best Lines:

“My fault he got bored.”

“Do you see all the fish?”

“I don't feel safe in this cage.”

“Sharks attack from low.”

“Do not go straight up. You will die.”

The Descent part 2 (2009)

This sequel is impossible. It exists only because the US print of the first film edited out the final scene that showed there was no escape from the cave. Now one woman has amnesia after escaping the cave. The sole survivor ends up back down the pit for no good reason. Idiot people look for the missing women. There is bad acting and the cave is overlit.

Juno is still alive? Oh come on! The 'grim surroudings' look likes a set and the 'implacable opponents' look like stuntpeople in rubber suits. What was this for? Juno dies and the ending is stupid.

Redwood (2017)
A stupid couple go hiking in the woods. They are stalked by vampires. Nicholas Brendon is in this. This was boring.

Stand By Me (1986)

Castle Rock is in Oregon? Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O'Connell, Kiefer Sutherland and Richard Dreyfuss star in this Stephen King adptation which is full of bad acting and swearing. This was dull.

Best Lines:

“Came from a bad family.”

“The most feared and least seen dog in Castle Rock.”

Horns (2013)

Daniel Radcliffe stars in this Joe Hill novel adaptation. He plays a town pariah who has been wrongly accused of murdering his girlfriend. This was terrible and soporific.

Far From The Madding Crowd (1967)

The poor wee sheep!

Tags: buffy the vampire slayer, castle rock(tv), movie review

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