epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Retro Review: Smallville Seasons 1&2 Reviewed

How long has this show been running anyway? This was the Golden Age of 'Smallville' before Green Arrow, Jimmy, Doomsday, Lois, Bellereve, French witches, Brainiac, Zod and the stupid badly done rift.

Season 1

X-Ray

Clark develops X-ray vision, which helps when a girl named Tina turns out to have he power to change her form to look like anyone she wants. She kills her mother and then plans to kill Lana and take over her life. Clark saves Lana, his obsession with her was just creepy. Meanwhile a nosy reporter is after Lex so Lex scares him off while wielding a pool cue in an ominous fashion.

~
Cool
Lex tries to befriend the Kent parents to no avail. In a later season Lionel was invited to Thanksgiving dinner, Lex was never invited. Vile people.

~
Hourglass
Cassandra has the gift of seeing the future and gives Clark a vision of himself in a graveyard surrounded by the graves of everyone he knows and there is no grave for Lex. Anyway Lex asks Cassandra to see his future and she sees a vision of him in the White House, then surrounded by sunflowers, which turn to bones while he is bathed in a rain of blood. The vision of Lex's horrific future is brilliant and the shock of it kills Cassandra. But of course it won't come true as Lex couldn't get elected Senator and then got killed off by the vile bully Green Arrow.

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Craving
Jodi (Amy Adams of 'Enchanted' and 'Cruel Intentions 2') goes on a diet that gives her a hunger for the body fat of others.

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Jitters
Earl Jenkins (Tony Todd of 'Candyman' and 'Final Destination') takes a school group hostage during a tour of the plant. Lionel Luthor flies in and refuses to negotiate, so Lex goes in. Earl lets the kids go while keeping Lex. Clark manages to rescue Earl and Lex from a falling catwalk. This was good, poor Lex.

~
Rogue
Lex's old girlfriend Victoria (Kelly Brook) shows up and asks Lex to join her in a business deal.

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Shimmer
Lex is being stalked by an invisible entity that threatens him and almost drowns Victoria. Apparently Victoria and Lex are putting together a plan to bring down Lex's father, but Victoria seems to have a scheme on the side. The highlights of this episode is Clark and Victoria creeping around the mansion all 'Scooby Doo' like after hearing mysterious noises.

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Hug
A man has the power of persuasion on anyone he touches and he shake hands with Lex. So Lex is convinced to kill Clark. Clark manages to knock out Lex mid murderous rampage and Clark refers to Lex as his "Best friend". Later the friends stand in the barn and stare meaningfully into the sunset. Why was Lex's later descent into villainy and Clark just completely turning on him so badly done? The highlight of the episode is Lex's mad act as he sets one of his cars on fire with Clark inside and then stalks him with an Uzi while ranting about how bitter he is with the way people treat him. Poor Lex, he had no idea what the crap this show had yet to unload on him.

Best Line: "Clark, you have some explaining to do!"

~
Zero
Lex is stalked again, he had an endless stream of stalkers this guy. Flashbacks show Lex's past: he wore a leather jacket, went to a night club and drank appletinis! How very dare he!

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Nicodemus
Jonathan, Lana and Pete are affected by a mysterious flower. Pete tries to kill Lex, Lana's body double shows off her underpants.

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Stray
An obnoxious telepathic kid named Ryan is the victim o'the week.The highlight of this episode is Lex telling Clark about his baby brother Julian who died of crib death. A sad moment undone in retrospect by later idiot Julian developments.

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Reaper
Lex is bothered by Dominic one of Lionel's lackeys. Lex drugs Dominic, ties him up in the boot of a car and delivers him to Lionel. In a hilarious moment, Lionel just stares at the furious Dominic, shakes his head and shuts the car boot and walks off.

~
Drone
Clark runs for class president saying he stands for "Truth, justice and other stuff."

~
Crush
Justin (Adam Brody of 'The O.C.' and 'Mr & Mrs Smith') was horribly injured in a hit and run. Now he has developed telekinesis and uses to attack people who annoy him. Meanwhile Lex's old nanny Pamela visits him but he is furious with her for abandoning him after his mother's death. The highlight of this ep is the sight of Lillian Luthor's overdone huge gravestone with the water fountain, the eternal flame and the muse. Later eps would reveal that Lex's hero worship of his mother was horribly misplaced. She was a worse parent then Lionel and that is saying something.

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Obscura
Lex and reporter Roger Nixon contact a man who was a crop-duster who was working during the meteor shower and apparently saw a craft crashing down in a field. This piques Lex's interest and he starts digging up the field and finds meteorite chunks and a mysterious metal disc.

~
Tempest
Clark prepares for his date with Chloe, reporter Roger Nixon uncovers Clark's alien origins and breaks into the storm cellar uses the disc Lex found to activate the spaceship just as three tornadoes hit Smallville. The tornado hits Lex's manor and traps Lionel under beam, leaving Lex with a life-or-death decision to make. Clark dumps Chloe at the dance and rushes off to see Lana sucked up into the tornado. A good cliff-hanger and the highlight is the look on Lex's face as Lionel pleads for help. He should have let Lionel die for his own sake.

~
Season 2

Vortex
Clark rescues Lana while Lex rescues his father. Lex who receives no thanks from the Kents for saving their lives from Nixon. Lionel claims to be blind. Poor Lex.

~
Heat
Clark develops heat vision and sets a classroom on fire. Lex is engaged to the new biology teacher Desiree (Krista Allen) They get married with Clark as best man. Desiree is a gold-digger and sets Lex on fire so Clark jumps Lex to put the flames out. Pause, rewind, play, pause, rewind, play. This was hilarious and very good.

~
Red
Clark is exposed to red kryptonite and acts wildly starting a bar fight, hanging out with trashy new girl Jessie, buying a leather coat, teasing the blind Lionel and coming on to Lex in his study. Pete (who is on the secret now) and Jonathan team up to bring the psycho Clark back to normal.

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Nocturne
Lana gets a stalker/boyfriend in the form of the poetry spouting Byron. In a hilarious moment, Clark apologises to Lane for not being "straight" with her.

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Lineage
In wonderfully done flashbacks, we find out what happened after the meteor shower: Lionel met the Kents after the meteor storm and Jonathan helped him save Lex and then toddler Clark stroked the unconscious young Lex's cheek. That caused Lex to wake up for a moment to make eye contact with toddler Clark before passing out again. That was sweet. In a less sweet moment Lex learns Lionel had a son named Lucas with one of his mistresses.

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Skinwalker
Clark falls into an Indian cave. The caves hold ancient cave drawings, including a prophecy. Those stupid problem causing caves.

~
Insurgence
Lex discovers his father has him under electronic surveillance and hires some thugs to bug Lionel's office. This results in the thugs taking Lionel and Martha hostage as they pan to rob Lionel's vault. Lex, Jonathan and Clark head to LuthorCorp. It turns out the Daily Planet building is right across the road from LuthorCorp. The Kents exchange another sickening group hug and leave Lex all alone. This ep was full of rift foreshadowing.

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Suspect
Lionel is shot and Jonathan is arrested. Clark and Pete investigate and everyone is a suspect. In a truly obnoxious moment Clark accuses Lex of shooting Lionel and framing Jonathan and never apologises.

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Prodigal
Lex finds his half-brother Lucas. But he and Lionel kick Lex out of the mansion so Lex has to move in with the Kents. Lucas finds out Lionel has been faking his blindness. It turns out Lionel set up everything to play the siblings against each other and then Lex and Lucas team up to play Lionel. Lucas was never seen or mentioned again after this ep. The highlights of this ep were Clark's instant hate for Lucas. Lex living on the farm and Clark saying he trusted Lex.

Best Line: "Psychotic little bastard"

~
Rosetta
Clark goes to visit a Dr Swann (Christopher Reeve) and finds out Swann received a signal on the day of the meteor shower. The signal identifies Clark as Kal-El from the planet Krypton and Swann says Clark must find his destiny as he is the last of his race. Clark and Jonathan open the ship with the key and Clark translates a message from his true father telling him to rule Earth as a God. The highlights of this ep was Lex finding Clark lying in the road during the night and Clark arriving home in the morning (just what did they do in-between?) and the 'Superman' theme playing as Swann confronts Clark.

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Visitor
A student named Cyrus seemingly starts a fire with his eyes. Cyrus has a history of mental problems because he claims to be an alien. Chloe finds out Cyrus is the unidentified orphan of parents killed in the meteor shower. Clark inadvertently causes Cyrus to suffer a mental breakdown. It wouldn't be the last time Clark did that to someone either. Meanwhile Lex's girlfriend Helen moves in and finds a locked room that is a shrine to Clark Kent.

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Precipice
Helen is stalked and stabbed by an old boyfriend so Lex takes the law into his own hands. He nearly kills the stalker but can't do it. He asks Helen to marry him as the song "Don't Fear The Reaper" plays in the background. Of course the baddie the song is foreshadowing is Helen, not Lex. The highlight of this ep was Clark and Lex hunting down creepy stalker guy.

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Calling
Lionel cuts a deal with Chloe to investigate Clark on his behalf in return for a Daily Planet job. The ship comes to life. Highlights of this ep are: Lex asking the Kents to sit in for his parents at the reception dinner and Clark and Lex hugging.

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Exodus
The spaceship announces (via the voice of Terence Stamp)that it is programmed with the memories of Clark's Kryptonian father Jor-El. Helen marries Lex and Lex is hurt when Clark doesn't show up to be best man. Clark misses Lex's wedding to go to the ship and destroy it. The Kents are caught in the blast which causes Martha to lose her baby. Chloe embraces the dark side with Lionel. Clark later forgave her, something he never ever would do for Lex in later seasons. Jonathan yells at Clark for his stupidity. Clark believes he is better off on his own so he puts on a red kryptonite ring and leaves town on a motorbike doing about 1 MPH. Meanwhile Lex and Helen fly off on their honeymoon but Lex wakes up to find the plane empty just before it crashes into the ocean. Great cliff-hanger but season 3 never explained how the Kents explained the big hole where their stormcellar once was or what Helen's whole personality switch was all about. The show was never this good again as it all went downhill.
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