sadIn Dino Veritas
The Sliders find themselves in a preserve for the last living dinosaurs. The image looks stretched. The opening credits are BAD. This was calamitous ineptitude. This show causes deep frustration. It is so deeply 90s. Polite looking lad Quinn is pointless in this ep. This was not exuberant. Wade is hopeless and reckless. This was terrible.
This was not controversial or subversive or wildly imaginative. TPTB made the park ranger a baddie and say the poacher should be allowed to hunt dinosaurs. People are ethically neutral. This was all absurdities. The poacher is all toxic masculinity. He’s belligerent and feels no deep responsibility. People are visibly annoyed. There is acrimonious stupidity. Interest desists immediately.
Best Lines:
“No urban noise.”
“San Francisco National Dinosaur Preserve & Spotted Owl Sanctuary.”
“An arrest team.”
“Little green bastards.”
Post-Traumatic Slide Syndrome
The gang slid home in 2x01 but didn’t recognise it as such. Now they think they’re home but overlook one HUGE clue as to why they’re not. The events of ‘Fever’ and ‘Last Days’ are discussed. There are secrets. The professor is replaced with an evil double. Which professor slides at the end of the ep? We don’t know and it all came to naught as they got rid of him in season 3. There are payphones and people act like idiots. This was farcically poor.
Best Line:
“Azure Gate Bridge.”
~
Out Of The Frying Pan
Social interaction has gone to hell. The ex-con molests Noah. Dawn lies and she and her gang act like they have unimpeachable respectability. The gang stopped liking one another long ago. Noah dismissed the murder victim as an interloping jezebel who latched onto superior men and seduced them into idiocy.
Noah suffers delicious hubris. The gang vindictively accused an innocent man of murder. They have no moral force or moral capacity. The ex-con rampages. Susan was even more awful than at first apparent. Andi was a drug dealer as well as a ho. Peter had a save a ho complex. A woman gets hysterical. Derisive comments are yelled. Logic is not something TPTB thought mattered.
There is antagonism. Noah’s dumb and gets what he has had coming for 5 years. He’s a perv. There is forcible confinement and no ethical awareness.
Best Lines:
“Disgusting carb muffins.”
“Don’t kill him!”
“I won’t! Not yet!”
“Let these outsiders in.”
“The real Glenn is shoved in a freezer in the back of that Winnebago!”
“Tell your big bad secrets to anyone who will listen!”
Drone
There is T&A and this is not frankly terrifying. The bald guy is a former lawyer who drove a man crazy. Noah’s still not dead. There’s no prospect of reconciliation. Noah’s unconscionable and had no compassion. Dawn gets caught in a trap. Where’s she getting the extra ammo? There are life-changing repercussions for the jerks. Someone is hell-bent on wrecking their lives.
There is no inventiveness. This was not reasonably diverting. The environment is hostile. There are no fiendish intricacies. This was not decently silly or funny. There are too many narcissists. Each preening character is more ghastly than the last. This was all crudeness. The indifference of others is on display when the ex-lawyer insists on a hearing. Death is not deeply concerning to people. The lawyer is run over and Renee is killed but no-one hears this?
Best Lines:
“You’re a horrible shot.”
“Girls are buried in caves.”
“Trust my own goodness.”
Day Of The Dead
What happened to Renee’s body? Mark the ex-lawyer is not dead, yet. Peter’s a moron. Their victim wasn’t the baddie they painted her as. They drove her to it. Mark dies. This was not good.
Best Lines:
“Musty basement apartment.”
“Promise not to judge me.”
“Now you care?”
“Bed bug registry.”
~
Exorcise Your Demons
The sisters plan to save the possessed Angela. An Elder plans to ritually kill Angela. Their mother was an Elder. There is no complex meaning. The original is a constant looming presence. How did Mel get Angela into the trunk when her touch can kill? So much for god powerful witches. A cop stalks the sisters and gets killed. There is forbidden love. The Elders are idiots. Who was demon guy? This was mediocre.
Best Lines:
“Harbinger of doom in our attic.”
“BoHo Victorian.”
“Too confident that she’s right.”
“Done harbouring the harbinger.”
~
Lesbian Request Denied
Jason Biggs is reduced to this. A nice middle class girl is in jail for becoming involved with an international drugs cartel. Inmates’ meds are changed. There is feuding, Laura Prepon, Kate Mulgrew, creepiness, aggressive words and behaviours. The nice middle class girl Piper is alarmist and has an instinctive tendency to blame others.
Best Lines:
“Swallowers.”
“She’s talking to the devil.”
“Man stink.”
“Walking around like a $2 hooker.”
“I threw my pie for you.”
“That really happens?”
“She threw pie for me.”
~
The Exorcist 2x06
Darling Nikki
Nikki (Alicia Witt) is all botoxed. Truck is under a detention order. Tomas and Marcus realise a demon is using the island as a hunting ground. Rose has a differing interpretation as to what’s going on. Tomas and Marcus are precautionary. The demon is emboldened. Tomas and Marcus are interrogative. There is terrified silence in the group home. Demon woman from season 1 resurfaces, after all her desire to become possessed - she’s now dying of cancer.
Verity bitches. Andy escapes deserved scrutiny. Where’s the demon cop? Andy is obviously not well-intentioned. Shame this show had no adoring audiences. The demons want to possess Tomas. Demon woman is suitably unimpressed by the new character. There is a precarious situation. Andy has a grim expression. The implications of the Andy/demon relationship are unwholesome.
Andy’s threatening and contentious and reproaches are hurled. Rose whines - leave bitch! Also, shut up bint! The priests try to dodge the inevitable. Rose heaps more misery on the group home. Verity ridicules. The priests are a united front against Andy. Tomas faces constant assaults. Rose is fallacious. Andy (and maybe Tomas) are on a one way path.
Rose is misinformed. Things go badly wrong. This was good. Harper’s crazy mother shows up. How? Does nobody lock the door or hear the ruckus? Andy murders someone and is possessed and his hair never moves. This was not genuinely shocking.
Best Lines:
“You sent her away.”
“Random priests showing up for no reason.”
“Sounds a little 14th century.”
“Provoke an emotional response.”
“He’s not coming home; he’s going straight to juvie.”
“They’re unfixable.”
“Implied as much. Although he used much less ominous terms.”
~
Babylon 5
Severed Dreams
Phil Morris and Bruce McGill guest star. The word hell is used a lot. Where is Marcus? Sheridan is a moron. There are stupid speeches. A Ranger who can’t act shows up. Hague is dead. Always the best decisions with this show. Clark bombs Mars causing various colonies to break away from Earth. ISN is shut down. Franklin says they should fight: isn’t he a pacifist?
How can Sheridan access the holographic system on the planet below? Don’t people wonder how he’s holo-projecting himself over the station? So much for keeping the planet below secret. Delenn does ANGRY and SHOUTING. B5 secedes from Earth. The Churchill is damaged and instead of getting to the escape pods - the captain rams her ship into another EA vessel destroying it and her own. Delenn brings Minbari ships to defend B5 and brings up her past genocide. And B5 wonder why they have bad press? Sheridan loves Delenn and everyone applauds him. FFS. This lacks credibility and was a load of nonsense.
Best Lines:
“They’re bombing Mars.”
Breaching pod.”
~
Star Trek Deep Space Nine 1x18
Dramatis Personae
A ship explodes causing mind control stuff to affect the station. Sisko builds a clock and mentions a mission recorder. People act weird. Bashir plots. What’s a bio-survey mission? Dax is a bimbo. There is foreshadowing of later plots. People act maniacally unhinged. There is no sense of threat or darkness. There is goofiness and absurdity in this self-serious ep. This was completely and comically OTT as Sisko and Kira plot against each other. The clock stays. Dax gets slapped. None of this was ever mentioned again.
Best Lines:
“Don’t look at me that way. I’m perfectly normal.”
“He’s still dead if that’s what you mean.”