epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Body and Soul + Iron Sky + Mary, Queen Of Scots (1971) 🎁🐱‍👤🐱‍🏍😁

Alien Nation: Body And Soul (1996)
The 2nd TV movie based on the unjustly axed FOX tv show sees Matt and Cathy get it on. This is despite Matt's creepy controlling behaviour and Cathy's stupidity in 'Dark Horizon'. Matt has Mick Jagger lips. Peter David wrote the novelization of this. There are sinister genetic experiments and dated VFX in this tv movie.

Leon Russom, Tiny Ron and Kristin Davis of 'Sex And The City' co-star in this. The humans still don't seem too concerned about a slave owning alien empire with FTL technology out there. Newcomer tech is reverse engineered. Annoying music that seems like a direct ripoff of the soundtrack from the 1986 'Flowers In The Attic' plays constantly. It is now 7 years since the Newcomer ship crashed in the Mojave.

Sex between humans and Newcomers can be dangerous. This is not challenging or rewarding. It is confounding. Newcomers eat weasels. Matt's hair is better then it was in 'Dark Horizon'. A Newcomer doctor cured diabetes in 1997. How is Cathy a doctor? Dodgy courses of action are followed. Purists are still out there despite their attempted genocide of the Newcomers back in 'Dark Horizon'.

Matt attempts sex with Cathy which completely and catastrophically fails. Buck disses Socrates. This was all superficiality. Goerge and Susan's baby goes into a coccon and is never seen again. People wonder if a Newcomer/human hybrid exists. A same sex Newcomer couple are seen in the background. This was fairly uninteresting. There are some funny moments and dated computer tech in this tv movie. Susan's back at work despite quitting in the 1st tv movie.

Matt's an idiot who does sterotypical machismo behaviour. Purists protest the sex clinic where Newcomers and Humans learn to have sex safely. This was not fun or delightful. A giant lurks and people talk about an evil Newcomer overseer (yet another one) and special section on the ship. Since when is Albert pyshic? Davis wears a bright scarf and looks etheral as a Newcomer. The celebrated Newcomer doctor was an overseer. George claims overseers were war criminals and locked up. But there was no war and the tv movies and tv show were full of overseers wandering free.

Where are Dobbs and the idiot reporter? Buck is horrible and doesn't have a single redeeming feature. He's vile. George's co-workers protect his family with huge guns when he is threatened. An overseer disguises himself as a human. This has no charm, wit or grace. I don't care about Matt's emotional struggle. The end scene between Cathy and Matt is embarassing and goes on and on and on.

Best Lines:

“Jelly weasel.”

“Did you try to copulate with a Newcomer?”

“The sex clinic.”

“A cheap meal and intoxicating beverages.”

“They made me hold hands and hum!”

“She tried to give penance.”

“Forgot what she was.”

“Get a uniform and a tranq gun up here.”

“Field notebook.”

“Snitch list.”

Iron Sky (2012)

In this fan-funded (groan) film; Nazis are on the moon. There are bad VFX and a Sarah Palin like POTUS. There is bad acting and Nazis are the cause of all woe.

Best Lines:

“Mardi Gras parade reject.”

“Telephone computers.”

“That's an insult to morons.”

“Moon Nazi.”

Mary, Queen Of Scots (1971)

Vanessa Redgrave and Glenda Jackson star in this biopic which spews exposition. Patrick McGoohan, Timothy Dalton, Trevor Howard and Ian Holm co-star. Mary is a pampered idiot who demands that all indulge her. John Knox bellows. Elizabeth sends Darnley to Scotland as bait. Darnley prances and minces and has a screaming tantrum at his wedding reception and every other day. Mary has a son and berates her half-brother. Darnley has the pox and Mary plans his death. Mary wishes to marry Bothwell who has a wife. So Darnley is murdered, Mary marries Bothwell and is thrown off her throne and out of her country as a result. Mary is still a snot and stupid and she's imprisoned and Bothwell dies insane in a Danish prison (offscreen). Mary is finally executed for her plotting and lying. TPTB want us to pity her. We don't. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“Consorts with her horsemaster!”

“Now will my enemies rejoice.”

“Foreign marriges.”

“We can waste no money on idle show.”

“Jibe at me in catholic courts.”

“God struck down your mother!”

“All such filthy persons.”

“This I accepted long ago.”

“Weak degenerate fool.”

“No man is your friend.”

“I will not take that advice.”

“But I will give it to you.”



“Murder bond.”

“Everywhere I go, I'm SHUNNED!”

“Have you killed him?”

“Wrath of god upn his vile nature.”

“I have turned my back on God for you.”

“We mourn because the Scottish court does not.”

“I glory in your hatred!”

“Your life is steeped in blood and violence.”

“The people to gloat upon.”

“My kingdom, my posessions, my child, my husband were all taken from me.”

“Torment you to the end of your days.”

“Your disgusting marriage.”

Tags: movie review, reign, the tudors

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