epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Seaquest DSV (1993-1996) 1x19+The Kenny Everett Video Show Disc 4+Star Trek Enterprise 4x18+3 others

The Last Lap Of Luxury

In the future, the supersub Seaquest is the pride of the UEO. The Seaquest capatain likes U2. Evil people plot as a UEO confrence is being held. The opening credits claims that for beneath the surface lies the future. The late Jonathan Brandis plays a smart teen who hangs out on a military sub for no clear reason and there is a dolphin in the opening credits.

Carl Lumbly guest stars and this was brroadcast in 4:3. Kreig is hot. Lucas is obnoxious and annoying. There is a fanfic out there that shows a dark mirror universe of the Seaquest in which MU Lucas is kept on board as a sexslave. So eww. Darwin the dolphin talks. Lucas is the centre of attention. A room full of bigwigs vanish. A female UEO bigwig is naturally evil. Lucas is 16 – do child labour laws not apply on the Seaquest? The day is saved by Lucas' chewing gum and the teen genius building stuff out of scraps. UEO leaders stand around gaping at Lucas in awe.

The baddies plan to kill the hostages. Ted Raimi lurks. Piss off Joxer. Why is there climbing gear on submarine? How were the hostages rescued from the flooding room? It's amazing how Lucas' 90s hair is unaffected by oceanwater. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“Man's struggle for cultural identity.”

“Misplaced world leadership.”

“Ensure world order.”

The Kenny Everett Video Show Disc 4

This tries for fabulously bizarre. Marcel Wave prances. The Tinsel Man skit is borderline offensive. There is no character depth. There is still no compelling reason to watch. Kenny is deeply strange. This was not breathtakingly original. Was Kenny deservedly adored? Or was it mistaken nostalgia? This show seems arbitrary.

Why is he a celebrated creative? People talk of Kenny with breathless reverence and call him breathtakingly orginal. Tina Turner performed. David Bowie looked high. Bryan Ferry looks greasy. In a skit Kenny accidently kills his camera crew. In another he does an incoherent Scottish accent. The stupid cartoon is still around and there is a big finale full of fake snow.

Best Lines:

“I fought for people like you but I never got one!”

“Lily-livered mincer!”

“How can an idiot be so attractive?”

“Beast-fiend incarnate.”

“I feel like a new man. I must go out and get one.”

“Cosmic awareness.”

“Agony spray.”

“That dude's got his own river!”

In A Mirror Darkly Part 1

This is set in the Mirror Universe. MU T'Pol and MU Hoshi are dressed and styled like hookers. Why are MU T'Pol and MU Pholox on the Enterprise in the alien hating Terran Empire? It is shown that when Earth and the Vulcans made First Contact it led to the Vulcans being killed and the Terrans storming the ship. The Terrans show no signs of the light sensitivity that they did on 'Star Trek: Discovery' note MU Reed doing a psychotic smirk whilst watching his own ship being blown up.

MU Archer overacts. A Tholian is blown up by the Terrans. The opening credits are changed to show the Terrans violent history. This was okay if not a riveting tale of corrupt activity. The pestilential MU crew do things for no other purpose than to antagonise. The find the USS Defiant from the regular universe which has tumbled through time and a dimensional barrier to arrive in the MU. MU Tucker looks bored (the actor hated the ep). MU Tucker was exposed to Delta Radiation so why isn't he dead? MU Tucker and MU T'Pol have a thing. MU Reed invented the Agony Booth – of course he did. MU Reed enjoys putting MU Tucker in it. MU Tucker vows revenge. A line which lead to fanfics. MU T'Pol mindscrews MU Tucker. MU Tucker's makeup job is obvious. MU Reed is so much more interesting than his real counterpart.

Best Lines:

“Very badly.”

“Answer my questions or you will be harmed!”

“Reed, I'll kill you when I get out of this.”

“I'd like to see you try.”

The Invaders 2x19

The Pit

David Vincent visits a friend who is in the nut ward. DV is increasingly glum. A dream machine is discussed. The friend in the nut ward has a wife who is played by the actress who was the famous Romulan Commander on 'TOS'! DV is in peril. An alien uses a pacemaker to fake having a heartbeat. Nobody dwells on the hostile cosmic forces whose existence alone gives the lie to the notion that humanity is in any way a superior specises and has a meaningful place in the order of things. This was rubbish.

Best Lines:

“Emotioanlly tired.”

“Think factory.”

“Risked a hideous painful death by injecting himself with rabies.”

“Planetary intruders.”

“Insanity is not herititary!”

“We were just discussing going to other planets.”

War Of The Worlds 1x12&1x13

Choirs Of Angels

The aliens put subliminal messages in music (that sound like Jan Hammer) and wreak havoc. This ep was a terrible thing. This was intellectually hapless. Harrison is pathologicallyself-righteous and thinks he's intellectually rigorous. Harrison and Ironhorse have ideological divisions. The 'heroes' have no broadly unifying ideology. There is a negation of sense. Harrison is unacceptable and staid and claims the aliens attacked due to fear of the a-bomb. The aliens want ideological submission. Harrison has no grace or dignity. There is bitterness and rancour as there are the greatest personal consequnces. There are no people of good intent, bar Ironhorse. People need to reflect on their behaviour.

Best Lines:

“Provke the aliens?”

“Live as friends.”

“The sea is rotting!”

“The sound of the future.”

“Lies and distortations.”

Dust To Dust

The aliens mock watching tv. Ironhorse rants. The aliens look for a warship which is a reservation. The term Indian is used a lot. Ironhorse talks about being Cherokee and gets to kiss a woman. Ironhorse went to West Point. Native Americans save the day. Harrison is dim. This was okay.

Best Lines:

“Garbage heap of a planet.”

“Shouldn't we call the police?”

“Yeah, annoymously.”


The Stand (1994) Part 3

The Betrayal

Stu tells Fran to wipe his forehead off as he takes out a guy's appendix and kills the guy in the process. Harold wears a leather jacket. People accept the weird dreams. Fran and Stu throws themselves at each other. Harold acts like he is fine about this. People clean up Las Vegas at gunpoint. The Rat Man yaps. Why does anyone follow Flagg the Levi model looking creeper? Who promised Nadine to Flagg? Stephen King has a cameo dressed like a biker. Who cleared the road to Mother Abigail's compound? Glenn complains. Mother Abigail has issues. Why is Stu a leader? Fran sings the national anthem. The power is back on. You can tell Nadine is evil – she doesn't sing. Why wasn't Harold on the Free Zone Committe? Screw you Stu and Fran. There is terrible acting and spies are sent into Las Vegas. This was pretty disastrous. Larry calls Lucy his wife. WTF?

The Free Zone act like a cult and send Tom as a spy. Nadine shags Harold who turns into a jerkass who plans to plant a bomb. Nick makes moron faces and dies. More crazy cult like demands are made of the Free Zone. Flagg is called The Devil's Imp. This has grandiose pretensions. The acting is horrendous and so much happens off screen.

Best Lines:

“Dude's crazy.”

“Like we're not.”

“Work for you in the desert Trash.”

“Don't screw with my disco Nadine.”

“We're damned.”

“Yes. I know.”


Tags: review, star trek, the invaders, the stand, war of the worlds
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