epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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Movie Reviews: Get Over It+No One Lives+Some Kind Of Hate+Black Water+Andre The Giant+The Oath

Get Over It (2001)

Shane West of 'Nikita' stars in this un-amusing teen comedy which is full of undignified moments. Martin Short plays a crazed drama teacher putting on a terirble musical version of a Shakespeare comedy. The teacher is chaotic and embittered.


Best Line:

“You ass-kissing prtentious swingtown twit.”


~
No One Lives (2012)

Luke Evans stars as a psychopath who runs into a clan of violent, aggressive redneck criminals seething with enmity. This was ridiclious and sleazy and gore-filled and not propulsive. Real anger, ill will and rancor is stirred up. The psycho is a dreadful person who casts a dark shadow and sneaks into their home in a unique way. There is no dark allure and no displays of decency. There is savage hate and aggrieved redneck morons and no unease and disquiet.


A cascade of events kicks off as the destructive pyscho asserts control. There is outragrous cruelty. The rednecks are warned with increasing urgency. They don't listen and subsume their selves to the clan. There is no impeccable morals just bench clearing brawls. Luke Evans is not an intimidating presence.


Best Lines:

“I ain't digging that hole.”


“Don't you find it trite?”


“My best hope of escape is while he's killing the whole bunch of you.”


“His idea of friendliness is to scare the tourists.”


“Got bugs up there.”


“Expand on he.”


~
Some Kind Of Hate (2015)

Terrible.


~

Black Water (2007)

Idiot tourists go to see salties. Their boat sinks and the salties want to eat them. The characters have the personalities of sticks. This was terribly frustrating and not undeniably engaging. The ending is predetermined and this was not a cohesive satisfying narrative. This was absurdist and not an intriguingly clever coherent narrative.


Best Lines:

“Someone will come looking for us!”

“WHO?!?”


~
Andre The Giant (2018)

This is a very good documentary about a French pro wrestler. The story that Samuel Beckett drove the young Andre to school isn't mentioned. He could drink 106 beers in one evening and a case of beer and it wouldn't affect him. Locker room etiquette and insider terms are discussed. Andre said the world wasn't built for giants. Andre could not use airplane bathrooms which made long haul flights difficult. Andre had a daughter and refused medical care. Andy Warhol was a fan of his or something? Cary Elwes shows up looking botoxed. Hulk Hogan is show getting angry (badly) when Andre went bad and talked about trying to stick vaporub in his eye to cry. The famous Hogan/Andre match is shown. Andre was suffering from injuries at the time and would end up dying alone in a hotel room. Sad.


Best Lines:

“If he didn't like you, god help you.”


“No baby oil.”


“In 'The Six Million Dollar Man', playing a sasquatch.”


“Commanded great respect.”


“Myth making people.”


“Not very welcome here.”


“Stand there and look imposing.”


“A gruelling industry.”


“The most evil thing a professional wresler can do.”


~
The Oath (2016)

Generally awful.

Tags: movie review, nikita
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