epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Movie Reviews: Poltergeist +Parasite +Anastasia +My Girl +The Watcher

Poltergeist (2015)
A terrible remake that sees an annoying family move into an ugly house. The parents are inept and uncaring and hate their kids. They and this film are all incompetence. The husband doesn’t want his wife to work and I don’t care about their misfortune. A TV ghost-hunter (an overacting Jared Harris) shows up. Ghosts cause terror and nuisance and the annoying kids annoy. The family are reckless with money and ignore an obvious human bone in the garden. I wish serious harm on them.

Something in the house is detrimental to them. This is all noise and disturbance. Nobody listens to the kids. The mother is a killjoy. The kids SHOUT all their lines. This was a blight that was not ingenious. The housing estate was built over a cemetery. One feels utter disregard for this. This has a deferential impact on you. This was ill thought through and nobody calls the cops. This was uninteresting. There is a Hopper High mention.

Best Lines:
“Your underwear is sad.”

“You and your sad underwear.”

“I’ll get a job, when you get a job!”

“Our last closet ate me.”

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Parasite (1982)
Demi Moore stars in this ‘horror’ which was originally released in 3D. This was sleazy, incoherent rubbish set in a post apoc 90s.

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Anastasia (1956)
A ridiculous tale based on the Anna Anderson case.

Best Line:
“Lies buried in Russia.”

~
My Girl (1991)
Poo.

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The Watcher (2000)
James Spader plays a cop hunting a killer (Keanu Reeves). Marisa Tomei plays a shrink. The cop seems to blame women for being murdered. This sucked hard.

Best Line:
“Nothing like a good serial killer.”
Tags: movie review, the blacklist
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