White Car In A Snowstorm
The War Prayer
Ivanova violates regulations again. An old flame of her’s shows up on the station. There is bad acting in this ruinously stupid episode. Londo spews 90s sexism about love and marriage. No wonder he became a glory hunting megalomaniac. There is a photo of Londo’s 3 wives who look nothing like the actresses’ who ended up playing them.
Melodramatic and idiotic things happen and people do inane self-sabotage. This was messy and profoundly unsatisfactory. One feels indifference for this. Sinclair talks to Kosh. There are disastrous consequences to people being morons. There are dated VFX and Ivanova gets a rose. Her ex obviously has an air of menace. Sinclair discuses how Kosh was nearly poisoned back in ‘The Gathering’. How does one poison a Vorlon? Does Kosh even have hands?
Sinclair wonders what happened to B5’s old doctor and Lyta Alexander. No mention is made of his old XO Laurel. There is radical candour and a bitter battle. Londo shouts all his lines. Why does he use a Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse metaphor to describe them? Londo cheerfully admits to hating his wives. There is simmering resentment. Michael O’Hare was memorable in an ep of ‘The Cosby Mysteries’. It is a shame he was replaced by the large ham Sheridan.
There is negative commentary. This was bravura. There is a lot for Ivanova to contend with emotionally. Garibaldi sexually harasses Ivanova at one point. This was noxious. Nobody mentions it is only 10 years since the Minbari came this close to committing genocide against the human race. Ivanova and Sinclair go undercover in the Homeguard. Why is the Centauri Republic so called when they have an Emperor?
The ferocity of Ivanova’s invective against the Homeguard is hypocrisy when she bigoted against telepaths. Season 1 was intermittently terrific. Sinclair rants about the Battle of the Line. This show had considerable potential but not in this ep. Ivanova is invited along into the Homeguard for no clear reason. There is smirking and scowling. It’s the end of the Homeguard’s dreams. Aliens hear hated. This was not innovative. The Homeguard had plans that could not be justified ethically.
“Make them give a damn.”
“Provoked discussions of some heat.”
“What is it?”
“Never told me what he saw when he opened that Encounter Suit.”
“There are my 3 wives: Pestilence, Famine and Death! Do you think I married them for their personalities?!?”
And The Sky Full Of Stars
Delenn lies. Sinclair obviously has PTSD from the war. How did the 2 men get Sinclair out of his quarters unnoticed? O’Hare shows off his ACTINGS. The fact he suffered from schizophrenia makes this ep an uncomfortable watch. One Knight wears a puffer jacket. Who were they?
Garibaldi reads a paper full of foreshadowing: interspecies mating, Psi-Corps, election, Raghesh 5, Homeguard leader convicted, San Diego still too radioactive for occupancy and a copyright trial. Printed newspapers are still a thing in the 23rd century? Sinclair’s trapped in VR. This could be excellent material for melodrama but isn’t. Who sent them? Garibaldi rants. This is before everyone turned on him. Sinclair is 38 and was born on Mars and fell off the promotion merry go round.
The snotty voiced knights snot. Why did the Minbari surrender on the eve of their victory? This was low budget. Sinclair goes nuts in the market which was never mentioned again. Delenn’s a manipulative liar but Sinclair is on to her now. Delenn was at the Battle of the Line. Who was the old guy in Delenn’s quarters giving her orders?
“Set for full velocity ram.”
“My race is gone, their names cursed in history.”
“Refuses to participate. As usual.”
“All secrets long kept.”
The Moveable Feast
Nuns do exorcisms. Marcus goes on a tour called The Moveable Deceased. Chicago’s had a lot of serial killers. A rich woman has secrets. Casey has no psychological resilience. Jessica bothers Tomas. Someone is planning a summoning. Angela rants. Kat is swayed by sentiment. The destructive demon bores.
“I don’t require your permission.”
Through My Most Grievous Fault
Angela’s husband is stupid and macho. Marcus makes false and dubious assertions. The demon’s game playing causes immeasurable harm. Kat needs to examine her conscience. She’s a malicious troublemaker. Why didn’t Angela throw Kat out of house for the stunt she pulled? The malefic Casey’s on the run. This was not substantive. This disincentives one to care. Angela reveals to Tomas her real name, Regan, and then her mother (Sharon Gless) shows up. This was dull.
“I can’t remember most of it, thankfully.”
“My name is Regan McNeil.”
Star Of The Morning
There is no complete and utter conviction or raw urgency. People make terrible decisions. Casey spiderwalks. Rich Satanists conspire and they’re all in on it. This was relentlessly mediocre. Marcus turns a whole lake into Holy Water.
Father Of Lies
Jessica tempts Tomas. Is she evil? Tomas freaks out. Angela freaks out in a bathroom and Casey ran away at some point? Angela comes face to face with Captain Howdy who calls her a sow. Charming.
“Nuns are so well-known for their flexible thinking.”
“The hot priest.”
“Please tell me you were drunk.”
Cole and Mark lurk. What happened to Doug’s job working for Cole? Where did Cole go? Mark is no longer VP. Since when did FU keep a diary? FU went to Harvard apparently. Petrov is having FU’s records erased. There are more flashbacks to Claire. A doctor nearly kills Claire’s baby by bringing on premature labour. Claire is having a girl. Doug reveals where Rachel is buried. The FBI agent wants out.
How is Claire pregnant? Claire searches the Oval Office. Nobody noted that FU left something taped to a drawer in the Oval Office? Duncan’s charged with treason. The baddies plan to kill Claire. Where is Linda? There is talk of ICO. Claire faces rebellion. The loudmouth reporter reaches her limit. Doug and Janine hang out. Claire throws her dead husband under a bus and tarnishes his memory.
Poor FU, the only people who ever truly cared for him were Meechum and maybe Tim and they are both dead. Doug angrily cleans off his bum fluff. Claire has her nursery ready.
“Replace the US attorney.”
“The sex can’t be great with him.”
“Tom, Lucas, Zoë, you.”
“Don’t forget to scream.”
“Everything we did for Frank.”
“You’re going to choose her?”
“The ravings of a crazy person.”
“I will not reap what your father has sewn.”
“She might even end up on a coin!”
“He played us all.”
Doug calls FU a great man. Claire takes off her ring and hates FU and wants him forgotten. Doug killed FU. Doug breaks down and unravels. Claire is happy FU is dead and Doug menaces Claire with a letter opener. Claire stabs him and he bleeds all over the carpet then she suffocates him to finish him off. Roll credits. WTF WAS THAT CRAP? Seriously it ends like that? Claire seemingly gets away with all her crap.
What will become of Nathan, Seth, the evil siblings and Duncan? Oh FFS. How can Claire wear hooker heels whilst pregnant? If Doug stabbed Claire in the carotid - why isn't she dead?
“Public service is a sacred privilege.”
“Paint me as some sort of crazy man.”
“President Underwood. The real President Underwood!”
“Made Frank look very bad.”
“A place called Federalist Pig.”
“Gave me permission to hunger.”
“He ate himself.”
“Can you please stop moving?”
“Not going to go like you think.”
“Protect the legacy from the man.”
“He made you.”
The Doomsday Machine
Matt Decker feels he will never get moral absolution for what he did. He is anguished and shame spiralling. The cold fact is that he got his crew killed and cannot cope with the emotional fallout. He’s not dutiful. Kirk shouts and talks of a micro-tape. People talk about generators. Decker is not deemed reasonable. The planet killer (a windsock dipped in cement in the original version, a CGI creation in the rejigged format) shows up and it eats planets for fuel. It came from another galaxy.
Kirk makes a stupid decision. The planet killer chases the ship. Spock uses the term power nacelles. Decker seizes command to avenge his dead crew. Spock says the Enterprise will exhaust its fuel. Decker is crazy and Kirk talks about a fusion explosion. Kirk is in peril. Mr Kyle can’t act and Decker dies. This was okay. Decker’s son Will was the ill-fated near captain of the USS Enterprise in ‘The Motion Picture’.
“All power plants dead.”
“The entire bridge is damaged and uninhabitable.”
“Where’s your crew?”
“A war uncounted years ago.”
“There’s no ship to leave! It’s a dead hulk!”
“Maintain life and the safety of Federation planets.”
“The result was a wrecked ship and a dead crew.”
“You are out of line.”
“Out for a solar day.”
“You’re a starship commander!”
“Sucking in space rubble.”
“Your statement would not be considered valid.”
Killing All The Books