In a highly improbable development the Enterprise encounters a derelict sleeper ship, SS Botany Bay, bearing people from the time of Earth’s Eugenics Wars. Their leader Khan (Ricardo Montalban) is defrosted. This ep would lead in time to ‘Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan’ and ‘Star Trek: Into Darkness’. Khan and co did terrible things on Earth during their time. Kirk says insulting things about the ship’s historian Marla.
Apparently sleeper ships were discontinued in 2018. The Botany Bay is surreally baroque. Marla goes hysterical over Khan, who has arrogant disregard and evil intentions. If Khan was such an infamous much-hated monster, why no photos of him? Khan is a Sikh played by a Mexican actor.
There are no smart sticks in this time. Khan shows off his oiled up chest. Why does McCoy have a cork board displacing sharp pointy tools in sickbay? Khan menaces McCoy. Sex and violence follow Khan. Marla looks at Khan with entrancement, everyone else with horror. People shrug off Marla and Khan getting into an abusive relationship.
This ep was done with utmost seriousness. Marla throws away all discipline and regulation to hurl herself at Khan, who does not believe in a polite exchange of ideas. Khan rejects constraints. Marla finds joy in Khan’s joyless doctrine. Khan has lethal intent. Nobody feels grave concern at the prospect of a war criminal on their ship.
Khan smirks about terrible events. Marla steadfastly refuses to be sensible. Khan and co drink blue stuff. Kirk is petulant looking. Marla is beyond pathetic. Khan takes an aggressive stance and shows not the slightest hint of self-analysis, never mind remorse. He’s not into reasonable discussion. Khan is deliciously nasty and particularly horrid and delightfully horrid. Marla indulges in moral compromise to grovel over Khan who is plain ole lyin’.
Marla finds Khan’s curiously authoritarian stance attractive and commits treason and mutiny, so much for her academically rigorous career. She’s all grovelling compliance to Khan. By the time of ‘Wrath Of Khan’, she’d be dead allegedly by her own hand. But he did marry her. From 1992 to 1996, Khan was absolute ruler over a ¼ of the world. Yet when the Voyager crew visited Earth in ’Future’s End 1&2’, there was no sign or mention of him.
There is mention of a Technician Harrison. Spock is race baited by Kirk and co. Khan’s men wear red jumpsuits and the women wear gold lame stuff with lots of holes in it. Khan takes over the ship. Was this ep edited? I swear I can recall seeing a version that had Kirk comparing Khan to Hitler. Uhura passes out showing off her knickers during Khan’s takeover of the ship. Where are the rest of the crew when Khan is grandstanding? Marla draws a line at killing Kirk. Khan and Kirk fight, Kirk defeats him by hitting him with a rubber pipe. Khan squashes an obviously rubber phaser.
People admire Khan and co. Kirk drops charges against Khan and co and drops them (and Marla) off in the Tau Ceti system to build their own world. Khan blathers about Milton. Spock does massive foreshadowing by wondering what’ll become of Khan and co. Kirk has no idea what he’s set in motion. This actions in this ep would come back to bite him, hard. This ep also inspired the novella ‘Seeds Of Destiny’ in 2008 which postulated a future when Khan won back in the 1990s.
“Actually giving me a choice.”
“Please sit and entertain me.”
“A great many unanswered questions about those years.”
“Bombed out of existence.”
“Life support canisters.”
“Their own worthless vessel.”
“Tame a continent.”
“A superior woman. I will take her.”
“A world to win.”
“Better to rule in hell, then serve in heaven.”
“And learn what crop had sprung from the seed you planted today.”
A Taste Of Armageddon
An ambassador puts the ship in danger. He has no dignity, integrity or honour. Spock uses the term Earth Exploration and mentions the USS Valiant. Kirk wanders into the middle of a 500 year war fought between 2 planets using computers. Silly outfits are worn. People declared dead in the ‘attacks’ have to report to disintegration chambers and they do to preserve their society.
The overbearing Kirk decides to end the destructive war. The moral conflict annoys and the Enterprise is declared destroyed and the crew ordered to report to the disintegration chambers. Apparently the same thing happened to the USS Valiant. Nobody seems overly concerned with the fate of the USS Valiant. Kirk yells about the social impact of real war.
Kirk judges everything the society does. This was not compelling or thrilling or disturbing. McCoy whines. Spock calls himself a Vulcanian. People wear silly hats. Kirk interferes with the society, the term Prime Directive isn’t used. The ass ambassador traduces everyone. There is no level of urgency. This was an accumulation of dumb.
“Listed as missing in space.”
“Ours is the better way.”
“The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank.”
Our casualties are high. Very high.”
“Activate the attack units.”
Let There Be Light
Iolaus’ tomb looks vastly different in this ep. Hercules puts on his regular clothes. Morrigan annoys. Nebula shows off her midriff. Dahak prances wearing cheap looking contacts and putting on a weird accent. Morrigan is rude and needs a slap. She enrages and provokes a reaction. A dude with a staff wanders. Dahak has created widespread revulsion against Hercules.
This ep does not cause paroxysms of delight. Jason has no goodwill toward Hercules. Scrolls are burnt. Sometimes this show was entertaining, sometimes it was a fighty show for fat kids. Morrigan is not amiable. One feels tenacious hatred for Morrigan. Hercules is pretentious and smug. Iolaus’ time being worshipped was a dropped plot point. He was venerated, but no it was forgotten.
Hercules looks up Titans. Why does Hercules cherish dry bitch Morrigan? Dahak has cold apathy. Why is there a church with stained glass windows and a choir in Ancient Greece? There are no fascinating developments in this ep.
“You miserable fish!”
“Deliver us from ruin.”
“All the grace and charm of a hatchet.”
“I’m here to wipe the floor with your face!”
“Something that looks like Iolaus.”
“Independent of any and all moral consideration.”
Appalling circumstances are creating havoc and deep distress. There is anxiety. Sara fawns over the incoherent Jacob. Awful things happen. Jacob refers to Michael as Sara’s ex. Jacob isn’t even furtively evil. Sordid things happen. People end up in Crete. Sara leaves her son with Jacob because she’s a moron. FFS. This ep was rotten. Jacob is a ruffian and I’ll be damned glad when this is over.
What’ll be the legal consequences of the all this nasty stuff? How did Michael and co get into Greece unnoticed? Michael has a burdened history with the law. Conflict is frozen. There is no exceptional cognition. Jacob is Poseidon. Like duh. Sucre working on a tramp steamer becomes important. Sara hands over a ring worth 50,000. Jacob is despicable, low and rotten. Sucre’s unwavering stance is to be dumb.
Jacob has an absence of remorse and does cumulative provocations. Sucre is obliging. This was nonsense. TPTB blow up the steamer. What happened to Sara’s menaced friend?
“How far is it to Greece?”
“Have some class man.”
“Not going to like you when they find that.”
Why did T-Bag get the bionic hand? Why was it paid for? Jacob is a murderous sociopath. There is a total disregard for sense. Jacob has a failure of loyalty. Mike inherited his dad’s skills. Sara’s a bigamist. Linc and Sofia broke up. At least Linc remembers her. Linc was working for Abruzzi’s son. What happened to Sara’s ring?
Jacob is unfair and unreasonable. Michael and co are in France now? The 2 idiot assassins bore. Very serious issues are shrugged off. How are Michael and co paying for all this? Awkward and bad things happen. Jacob heads up a secret agency called 21Void - what a stupid name. Is Sara really the object of Jacob’s affections? Jacob threw away Michael’s origami. Why did Sara never check the mail?
Bounds of possibility are violated. There is no emotional involvement. Jacob ruminates obsessively. There is no psychological growth. Nobody notices Jacob waving a gun around in traffic? This was soulless. Michael has been undermined and undervalued for years. Linc and Sheba hook up. Why is T-Bag doing what Michael asks? Rick Yune has wandered off. T-Bag and Whip meet. They are father and son. This was all mediocrity that was not emotionally layered.
“Slow, stupid and doomed to fail.”
“Never betray your intentions.”
“That’s not normal.”
“The end game begins.”
“I don’t exactly cotton on to strange men coming up to me in the middle of the night.”
Behind The Eyes
Jacob has no shame. The fatuous and shallow Jacob has humourless self-regard. There is no challenging emotional journey or unglamorous, unhurried realism. This has many faults and failings. This is embarrassingly awful vacuity. The idiot assassins bore. Mike runs off with Jacob because he’s stupid. Linc’s been shot. This was dull and the dumb sprogling is dumb.
There is a vortex of chaos and tawdriness. A final confrontation with Jacob takes place. This season was purposefully slow. Jacob acts in all sorts of unpleasant ways. This show’s narrative structure causes studied boredom. I’ve lost all motivation to care. Michael drives around in a car full of bullet holes. Nobody notices. This was tedious and unrewarding.
The Elvis impersonator shows up. What’s the fate of the shot assassin? This was not interesting. Jacob is self-satisfied. Whip dies. T-Bag kills the other dumb assassin. Michael does a ridic setup of Jacob and ensures his dark deeds are uncovered. Michael is conflicted. Jacob gets a fitting fate: cell mates with T-Bag in Fox River. Linc and Michael used to look so young.
“You don’t love me. Your ego’s too big!”
“He’ll be dealt with.”
The Haunting Of Hill House (2018) 1x01
Steven Sees A Ghost
There is death and a guest appearance by Annabeth Gish. Henry Thomas and Timothy Hutton star in this unfaithful adaptation of the Shirley Jackson novel. There is no sleep destroying dread, bitter gloom or dark panache. A family owned Hill House until their father took them and fled at 3am one night. Their mother is dead. Hill House is now an infamous haunted house and the children are all grown up and messed up.
This was not disquieting just average and a bit dull. This had portentousness. This was not delightfully terrifying. There are characters named Shirley and Theodora. There is a locked door in the house. The eldest son writes books about haunting and finally sees a ghost. Why did they flee Hill House? What’s in the locked room? What happened to their mother? What is with the weird servants? The opening credits are okay and I may watch more.
“Living off credit.”
“I screamed all right.”
“Sits there and rots.”