“Become one of us.”
Women are denigrated. Jekyll is not decent, kind and public spirited. His pal Paul (Christopher Lee) sleazes. Jekyll’s wife has clear preference for Paul. Jekyll heedlessly causes trouble and is going to cause more. Nobody has integrity. Prostitutes lurk. Mr Hyde emerges and there is bad acting, brothels, opium dens, bare knuckle fights and can can girls.
The transformation from Hyde to Jekyll and back again becomes uncontrollable. There is murder and attempted murder and women die for being sluts. There is horrendous acting, incompetent cops and Hyde executes a terrible revenge and a false narrative. Nobody has creditworthiness. People are maliciously accused. There is a malicious strategy and women are repulsively denigrated. This exists for no good reason.
There are vile lies, horrific falsehoods and no melancholy reflection on the destructive power of lies. People overact to near lunatic proportions. There had to be a degree of calculation in Jekyll. This is an unloved Hammer film for a reason: it’s terrible.
“Dumb human animals.”
“Locked doors of the mind.”
“Such a useless waster.”
“Situation lacks dignity.”
“Go to hell and take that trollop with you.”
“A solemn warning not to meddle.”
Teela and She-Ra really looked alike, no comment. Evil witch Evil-Lyn is barely mentioned, the cheap animation is talked up as is the backstory. JMS of ‘Babylon 5’ talks. Moral guardians and naff toys like Stinkor are discussed. Apparently even dinosaurs showed up in ‘He-Man’. The voice actor for He-Man isn’t interviewed, he’s enigmatic apparently. The Skeletor voice actor laughs.
How the ‘She-Ra’ spinoff came to be is discussed. She was going to have a sidekick called Silver Reindeer. Moss-Man is discussed. More and more toys were cranked out but weren’t selling. The irritating Loo Kee is discussed. 80s ads for the cartoons and toys are shown. Dolph Lungren is interviewed. ‘He-Man’ and his elaborate mythology are discussed. Frank Langella is interviewed and he has deep thoughts about playing Skeletor in the unloved live action movie. The failed ‘He-Man’ reboot is discussed as are the comics and the revival of the classic action figures. This is okay nostaglia.
“Westerns? Is that popular?”
“Very very disgusted.”
“Ran out of tooling dollars.”
“Female fashion action doll.”
“Burn the books!”
“No, he really doesn’t.”
“Not say silly, foolish things.”
“Choices born of 1987.”
The original trailer for this gave me certain preconceptions. They weren’t met. Ill-mannered things lurk in the woods. 2015 arrives along with bad green-screen and Hollywood darkness. Grim mischief is not afoot in the woods and this was not terrifyingly convincing. Various inflammatory characters show up to the cabin in the woods. One is chronically unable to care about them.
There is no command of plot and pace. The characters are a chronic irritation. Clips from a true crime show give away the plot. This film has that horrible cheap shot on digital look. Who is Leslie? A mysterious woman is found in the show. There are disturbing indications that Leslie is weird. There is clunky dialogue and Crampton can’t act.
This is a perfectly useless film that should be confined to irrelevance. The characters are full of spite, inaccuracy and ill feeling. Murderously reckless mutters with strength of purpose lurk. There is death and a monotonously familiar plot. The characters ghastly lives end due to people with the ferocity of their convictions. There is no unexpected edge or gathering unease.
Leslie is plainly deceitful. There is no mischief or chaos. This was utterly inexplicably terrible. Leslie has sinister motives that make no sense. Nobody behaves particularly well. This is without artistic merit. A woman chops up people with an axe with way too much enthusiasm.
Two characters are indistinguishable Selma Blair look-alikes. The post credits scene makes no sense. Snow disappears and reappears. What became of the missing girl? Why didn’t Casey tell the truth about what happened? The ending and the entire movie make no sense. This was utterly mad.
“Sorry about the smell in here.”
“Look for wood in the woods.”
“End the war on values.”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m going to kill you for this.”