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5 TV Reviews

Prison Break (2017) 5x01-5x03

In this event limited series its 7 years since Michael died. The timeline on this show makes no sense, then again it never did. Linc has a confessed inability to not be in trouble. The opening credits are nice. There are opening credits, which is nicer. T-Bag gets out of Fox River. WHY? Linc’s in trouble and owes money to bad people. Wouldn’t he have got massive compensation for his false imprisonment? Where are LJ and Sofia? They are not even mentioned.

There is no level of despair. Nobody is nervous about associating with T-Bag? Where is Mahone? T-Bag did not do a rather low level of harm; he’s committed sex crimes, murder and cannibalism among many others. Linc and T-Bag receive info that Michael is alive in a hellhole jail in Yemen. What is Michael caught up in now that he has no avenue to free himself? Who took the photo? Who sent it to T-Bag?

Where is Gretchen? Wasn’t the Company made public information? The public narrative is that Michael is dead. Sara’s married to some guy named Jacob. I am sure he is a baddie based on this show’s long and storied history of such things. Linc once again finds himself at the bottom of a hill staring up. There are no myriad possibilities.

Things are emotionally confusing. Sara wants her sense of normalcy. Michael has new tattoos. Logic has long been forsook. What about the former Fox River warden and his Taj Mahal model? T-Bag should have permanent notoriety but he’s wandering the streets. Michael died in 2010. According to his tombstone. A coherent timeline was never this show’s strong point. Season 2 was the last universally praised season.

Linc looks up C-Note, who has a whole different life. C-Note’s wife and child aren’t mentioned. Linc digs up Michael’s grave. There’s no body in the grave! Somebody nearly kills Linc. He goes flying though the windshield of his car and oddly doesn’t die or suffer a single cut. Linc the sink! There are unforeseen consequences. Didn’t Michael have all his Fox River tattoos lasered off? Poor guy.

Sara keeps a gun hidden in her house. An assassin comes looking for her and shoots Jacob. Non-fatally. Suspicious! Sara and Michael’s son Mike is precocious. This is not highly charged but it is intriguing. Why did the assassin just leave? Is Sara a doctor still? People have spent years not being in control of their decisions. People should be extremely wary. Sara has irreconcilable demands.

Yemen’s war with Saudi Arabia isn’t mentioned. C-Note has a different social function. C-Note mentions a civil war. Someone’s erased Michael’s photos and wouldn’t his face be known? Oddly it is not. Michael’s very identity is being erased. T-Bag gets a new prosthetic hand. Linc puts on Michael’s jacket, which was in his grave. Why would it fit? Michael is slim built and Linc has a meaty strut.

This was fascinating. Sucre shows up briefly. Where is Maricruz? C-Note and Linc go to Yemen, Oddly during a civil war; the airport is full of Uber drivers. Who pays for their tickets? Is Jacob’s apparent friendliness real? 2 boring assassins lurk. Linc has a confessed inability to not be a criminal. People bristle with sin.

An annoying woman named Sheba lurks being Basil Exposition. Where did T-Bag’s medical staff go? Who paid for him to get a bionic hand and why? T-Bag is violent and ungrateful. How does Linc have money? Linc has to hand over his passport to get into the prison. How does he plan to get out of the country? Sheba stomps off. Was Isis a thing in 2010? Michael is in the jail under a fake name accused of supporting Isis; he’s been there for years! Poor woobie. Michael shows up and claims not to know Linc. This was goodish.

Best Lines:
“Whatever you bring in, you bring out.”

“Something really wrong with the world.”

“Don’t you look at me like I’m trash!”

“Hell if I know what they means!”

“He never will be again.”

“Seen associating with your sort.”

“Who has that ability?”

“I dug up Michael’s grave. He’s not in it.”

“It doesn’t come any worse!”

“Irrevocably gone from this world.”

“Greetings from the US prison system bitches!”

Kaniel Outis
Michael broods over his new tattoos and is planning yet another prison break. Remember when Michael’s escape from Sona was foiled by the only cloud in Panama? Where is C-Note’s daughter? Why were there origami cranes in a storm drain near Sara’s house? Linc shows off his trashy tattoos. Rick Yune guest stars. Will Sheba stop being annoying? Where did Linc get the wad of cash he flashes around? What about Sara’s morphine issues? Sara learns Michael is alive.

This 2017 limited series was popular enough so that there will be a follow up with Mahone. I’ll be watching. Kellerman works at the State Department. Why is he not in jail for killing Hale amongst many others? What about Whistler? What was that about? T-Bag (Robert Knepper of ‘iZombie') prances and scene steals. Kellerman is awful and smug. A cellmate of Michael’s listens to Queen.

Where is Don Self? Jacob tells Sara that Michael has been calculating all along and manipulating her all along. Oh shut up you gaslighting windbag. Michael’s beaten up. Everyone is untrustworthy, perverse, morally corrupt and unstable. There is no moral alignment. Who s the pizza man? This was not good at all.

Best Lines:
“No explaining ourselves.”

“A cold rational focus on winning.”

“This city may not have 24 hours.”

The Liar
Kids are used as messengers from the jail. Again I ask: why does Linc have money? There is chaos. Sara fawns over her obviously evil husband. T-Bag bothers Sara. Things go awry for Michael’s escape attempt. An ISIS guy is in the jail and is harassing people.  There is no intense connection with this ep. Where is Nick?

Best Lines:
“A good woman is a humble woman.”

“How we doing?”
“Not good.”

Star Trek 1x15&1x6

Shore Leave
Kirk decides it is the crew’s solemnest duty to go on shore leave on a bizarre alien planet. Kirk pervs on a woman. McCoy rants and Kirk gives his ranting no validation. Sulu fires off a gun because he is a moron. This was not enthralling. Kirk recalls being bullied at Starfleet Academy. Kirk said he was grim and serious at the Academy which is something the 2009 movie ignored.

Kirk is beat up by his bully, Finnegan, who has a stage Orish accent and a hideous velour outfit. Is the velour outfit supposed to be the Academy uniform? Kirk is awful. There are dubious sexual politics in this ep. This is not mesmerising. Who is Ruth? She’s a woman Kirk is salivating over. McCoy acts like a dirty old man. A Starfleet woman acts like a 5 year old.

McCoy ‘dies’ because he is Southern fried halfwit. Another woman ‘dies’. Kirk gets his shirt ripped off, again. This does not fascinatingly explore the final frontier. Kirk is unreasonably happy to have a fist fight. These near supernatural traumas are shrugged off. McCoy shows up alive with slappers. The ‘dead’ woman just shows up alive. Nobody cares. This was not good.

Best Lines:
“It could have been worse.”

“Can you turn up your gain?”

The Galileo Seven
Kirk babbles about quasars. An ambassador annoys. A future ‘Land Of The Giants’ star shows up. Huge terrible aliens menace stranded crew members. People are insubordinate to Spock. The science officer saves their lives to no thanks. This was terrible.

Best Line:
“All beams ready!”

Hercules: The Legendary Journeys 5x03

Hercules misses Iolaus more than his dead wives and dead children. Druids sing in Eire. There are bad Orish accents. Hercules shouts and somehow washes up on the shore of Eire. He wrecks Nebula’s ship. Not that he cares. Hercules makes everything about him. He meets Celts. The intensely annoying Morrigan debuts in this ep. She was supposed to be Hercules’ new love interest/travelling companion. Fans HATED her.

There are inconvenient consequences. An annoying moppet Druid lurks. Morrigan murders people. There is bad green screen. Morrigan is malicious and venomous. But she has no ferocious intensity. Hercules doubts empirical facts. This ep was catastrophic. This was not innovative or effective response.

The furious looking Morrigan kills grim looking Celts. She has no ferocity. This ep and Morrigan leave you bored and exasperated. Hercules is weary of life. No tension mounts. I actively disliked this ep because of Morrigan who is meaningless, ridiculous, poor and absurd. There is no knowledge production here.

This ep was shoddy and of poor quality. Morrigan does things for unclear and unevidenced reasons. Morrigan can’t behave in a fair, dignified and decent way. Hercules is full of bitterness and is contentious. ‘Empire Strikes Back’ is ripped off. Morrigan’s pitiless gaze bores. Understated performances are unknown to TPTB. This was not disturbing.

People are indulgent of the unquestioned Hercules who is feckless. This was an unholy show. Hercules is disillusioned. This was awful. Morrigan will not tolerate any advocacy by Druids. Hercules' downward spiral goes on. Morrigan thinks she’s brutally tough but she’s not a grave threat. She ends up a Druid and the spirit of Justice. I laugh.

Best Lines:
“You don’t want to be a friend.”

“Your weapon is meaningless to me.”

“The things that we did together.”

“Guardians of human virtue.”

“Become one with the shrubbery.”

“The cries of the dead surround you.”

Blood (2018) 1x01
This is part 1 of a 6 part thriller. Cat arrives home because her mother has died mysteriously. No one listens to her. Adrian Dunbar plays Cat’s smug, evil and probably murderous and abusive father. How did Cat’s MND afflicted mother hit her head off flagstones near a pond? Why was she left alone all day? Where was her carer? Why is a frog statue missing from near the pond?

Cat’s siblings don’t like her. Cat wants to know what happened to her profoundly ill mother. Cat’s father is vile and horrible and abusive and she is treated as the daughter from hell. Cat is treated as emotionally disturbed and mad and she is excluded from planning her mother’s funeral. She learns her father is having an affair and the family have known all along. Is he the father of the mistress’ brat?

Something happened in the past that led to Cat not being believed and fallout in her family and community. Cat is doubted and has no credibility. Her behaviour, character and history are used to undermine her. She’s a drinker. Who is Trevor? Why did her father leave a menacing message on his wife’s phone? Cat obsesses over a red cardigan and is threatened by her mocking jerkass father. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Who returns a cardigan to another woman in the middle of the night barely 2 days after your wife has died?”

“You weren’t around like we were.”

“Never be allowed into the family home again.”

“She doesn’t like Brian from next door!”

Trust 1x05

Nothing happens in this ep. NOTHING!
Tags: prison break, review, star trek
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