Jodi Arias: Dirty Little Secret (2013)
Tania Raymonde of ‘Lost’ stars in this inept and incoherent true crime tv movie about the murder trial of Jodi Arias. A toxic relationship lead to the unkindest act and one of the US’ notoriously harsh sentences. This was not even vaguely competent.
Psycho III (1986)
Anthony Perkins and Diana Scarwid and Jeff Fahey of ‘Lost’ star in this inept sequel. This opens with fervent hysteria and nice music. Norman’s a recluse at his barely used motel. A greasy mean drifter (Fahey) who looks like Billy Zane gets a job with Norman. This was lacklustre. Norman Bates was Perkins’ defining performance. It’s a month since the events of ‘Psycho II’.
Walking steak Fahey is unaware of Norman’s violent tendencies until he isn’t. No one notices Norman’s behaviour changes or disconcerting air. An annoying woman has continued scepticism about Norman. This movie was not a defining moment or a big entertainment event. Norman lives a self-contained life until he decides he likes a crazy failed nun (Scarwid).
Perkins had his career derailed by this one distinctive role. A body in an ice container is ignored. Perkins had a resonant voice, which became almost self-parody. This was not brilliant, engaging or witty. So many upsetting events keep happening to Norman. A disobliging shrew nags and goads. This was generic pulp that isn’t serviceable. There is no fierce intensity, creeping decay or genuinely macabre narrative dynamics in this dreary film. Where did the failed nun’s suicide attempt scars go? Perkins does his best crazy staring but even he can’t save this.
“You could have been coming instead of going!”
“Tend to automatically blame you for any murder in the area.”
“A pretty weird acting guy.”
“Full fledged loony tune.”
“You’ll never get out again.”
“All your glib insinuations.”
Dead Mine (2012)
This Asian movie sees treasure hunters come a cropper. They end up in an underground bunker looking for gold. But the bunker is an old biological experiment facility. A WW2 solider is lurking and won’t accept the war is over. A woman tries to fight a monster with a stick. This tried but was mediocre.
“That kind of thing yes.”
A Simple Favour (2018)
A not very amusing black comedy about the mommy status trap. This is a tale of ill functioning vulgar desperation. Stephanie a mommy vlogger is not self-possessed. She befriends career mother Emily. Then Emily vanishes. There is no brooding unease or deep wells of resentment as a toxic friendship turns out to be riven with discord and ancillary characters are background annoyances. This barely makes psychological sense. Emily is cringingly frank. People clash in spectacular fashion. This is not fabulously strange. This was self amused and nothing is what it seems.
“Bargain basement Tom Ford!”
Mega Piranha (2010)
Tiffany and Paul Logan star in this monster movie that lacks serious chills. Tiffany tries for resilient defiance but can’t act. This was not surprisingly daft just bad. There is no seedy grandeur. One needs endurance to get through this. There are reckless assumptions and Paul Logan bicycle kicks giant piranha in the face. He also fights off piranha with a knife. The fish leap out of the water to eat people.
The hero finds most of his success with his shirt off. There is nothing positive or affirmative here. This was not an enduring symbol of artistic purity. This was not very compelling. This was a grimly clichéd humourless slog.
“They ate those people!”
“I know what you do in the jungle!”
“Yes sir, giant piranha!”
Bring It On (2000)
Missing In Action (1984)
Chuck Norris is the near emotionless star of this Vietnam POW bad taste. The sequel was even worse. This was dull mediocrity.