‘Homecoming’ trailer
Julia Roberts does TV. No.
‘A Simple Favor’ TV spot
Mmmm.
‘Night School’ TV spot
“Learning herpes.”
‘A Star Is Born’ TV spot
Okay.
‘American Horror Story: Apocalypse’ opening credits
No.
‘The Cry’ promo
This BBC drama looks okay.
‘American Horror Story: Apocalypse’ trailer
Leslie Grossman, the end of the world, biohazard suits, Outpost 3, Evan Peters and a gimp. I’m not sure.
Best Lines:
“No need for the rules anymore. Chaos has won.”
“You may never leave.”
“You bitch!”
“It’s our world now.”
I want a Piaget necklace and the Divas Dream necklace by Bvlgari. I also want jersey leggings and a Harry Winston Premier Feathers watch and a London Glassblowing cascade perfume bottle. I’d also like a 19th century mystery clock and a Cartier rose-gold, diamond and emerald Revelation d’ure panther. I also like a silk organza dress.
Resistentialism - the belief that inanimate objects are out to get you.
Who saw ‘Killing Mr Griffin’?
Who recalls ‘Residents’?
What is an edible helium balloon?
I watched some of the old BBC ’Miss Marple’ ep ’4:50 From Paddington’ in which Joan Hickson wandered around a sucky plot.
Best Lines:
“The old crustacean.”
“I am not in the habit of murdering strange women.”
I won’t read ‘Possess’ or ‘The Coffin Path’.
Who saw ‘A Kid For Two Farthings’ (1955) or ‘Memoirs Of A Geisha’?
I will review ‘Monster’.
Recall avocado bathrooms?
Darren Criss won an Emmy for ‘American Crime Story’.
There’s peach and apricot flavoured Ribena?
‘A Passion For Fashion’ Quotes:
“Has effectively stopped shopping.”
“Re-youthing.”
‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Unwifely.”
“Throbbing sexily with emotion.”
“The acme of raw masculinity.”
“Calm yourself.”
“Manifesting her anger.”
“Who needs a shag. From a man.”
“Women hope they won’t get murdered.”
“Women have everything to fear from men’s anger.”
“Where the club sort of isn’t.”
“Neighbour noise.”
“Hushed acknowledgement that here is a place for Great Art.”
“Inaccessible privilege.”
“Ballerina sackings, wild overspending and a phone being hurled.”
“Completely devoted to the needs of the rich.”
“Public lovability.”
“Catholic morals.”
“You’re people of no importance.”
“Have no known grave.”
“Worried about their prospects for a life together.”
“Sacrificed her talent to her husband’s ambition.”
“Crotch fungus.”
“Poor howling queen,”
“What binds also excludes.”
“Restrictions - societal if not legal - on where women gather and what they wear.”
Bring disgrace on your family.”
‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“Uncultured backwater mired in the Dark Ages of the 1950s.”
“Felt like an extended Duran Duran video from the 1980s with fewer yachts and more gunfire.”
‘Monster’ Quotes:
“A subtle smell of wrongness about her.”
“Always wore tight t-shirts even in winter.”
“Bet her husband’s been caught dogging again.”
‘The Irish Times’ Quote:
“Don’t have or don’t want to have any perspective on how their behaviour might be received.”
‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Handle the verb part responsibility.”
“Disinterested mother.”
“You’re not grateful now.”
“Every choice you make, has a consequence.”
‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Two tweets cost her her house, job, and now her credit rating.”
“Assumptions about what a safe family looks like,”
“Gruff male overtures remind him of prison.”
“Such a storm was not believed to be possible.”
“On-demand world.”
“A disgusting thing in a woman.”
“Age-shame.”
“Restorative justice.”
“Ridiculous lie factory.”
“Who keeps Listerine on their bedroom table? Serial killers, that’s who.”
“Abuse strangers hurling abuse at other abusive strangers.”
“False expectations for people to live up to.”
“Having a wonderful time, without me.”
“Already seeing the world from outside.”
“Chairdrope.”
‘Tate Britain’s Great Britain’ Quote:
“Constraints of artistic training.”
‘Tales Of The Unexpected’ Quotes:
“Nowadays nobody wants tattoos.”
“My pimp insists!”
“I have a tremendous idea.”
“Again.”
‘TVNow’ Quote:
“Reimagined the concept of sitting down as a family to watch a TV event unfurl,”
‘Hollyoaks’ Quote:
“Sullied your family’s reputation by framing a man for murder.”
‘Independent’ Quotes:
“A kind of professional house guest.”
“Dance-hall gigolo.”
~
Rewatched some more MMPR:
The Mutiny: Part 1
This is ep 2x01. There is dirt biking. Tommy wears dark green and has a ponytail. Billy has no glasses. The self-enclosed gang hang out. Lord Zedd shows up and he apparently is Rita’s never before hinted at boss. Billy wears stonewashed denim. Rita and her minions cackle. Rita’s scared. Tommy’s Maoist display of loyalty to Rita isn’t mentioned. Rita’s minions abandon her for Lord Zedd. Goldar gets wings.
The dirt biking is like ‘Mad Max’ only not. The rangers race dirt bikes and wear helmets that match their ranger colours. The skinless Lord Zedd and his metal posing pouch prances. Zedd points out that Rita’s been defeated over and over and over and over again by teenagers with attitude. This was not thrillingly lurid.
Tommy’s forlorn. Rita’s put back in her dumpster. You can see the zips on the putties costumes. Lord Zedd is a worrying problem. Tommy’s kick misses a putty by at least a foot. There is a hideous situation. Bulk and Skull hear the rangers speaking but don’t recognise them. Where is Zordon’s HQ? Tommy’s gold shield is ridic. Zedd creates a monster from a goldfish. This was flaccid.
Best Lines:
“This is not about winning.”
“Character of command.”
“Spineless snivelling attitude.”
“Oh my gosh!”
“You were defeated by children!”
“Somebody worse than Rita?”
“Teenage do-gooders.”
The Mutiny: Part 2
In ep 2x02 the zords get taken over by Zedd. Where do the rangers keep their power coins in their costumes? Tommy’s ass looks good in his green ranger costume. The MMPR get new zords. What’ll become of the old ones? When did Zordon build these thunderzords? And how? Billy gets the unicorn zord. No comment. The new zords are ugly. Tommy doesn’t get a new zord. Lord Zedd has a dangerous impact. You can see Zedd’s exposed brain. Zack and Tommy’s kicks miss the putties by at least a foot. I did not like this. There are bad puns and people are irate. There is no emotional response. This was a complete failure.
Best Lines:
“Tommy and his Dragonzord.”
“Fish face froze my zord!”
“Pathetic rangers!”
The Mutiny: Part 3
Tommy puts the Dragonzord back into the sea. What became of it? The new zords are naff bar for Kimberley’s firebird zord. Zedd angrily rages. Where did the new zords come from? There is a state of calamity. The old zords fall into the bowels of the earth, the last person to cause that to happen was Tommy when he was evil.
Best Lines:
“Your powers are too weak to support a new zord.”
“The whole thing’s weird.”
“Tuna breath!”
“Stupid power rangers.”
“You over-grown herring!”
“The depths of the Earth from whence they came.”
White Light: Part 1
In ep 2x17, boring things happen. The opening credits show that the show is the Tommy show. Tommy swims and does a shirtless scene. Zordon teleports him away to make him into the white ranger. Did Zordon ask him permission? Billy sees Zordon and Alpha 5 making the new white ranger - a real ‘Frankenstein’ moment. This was a categorical failure. Zordon causally mentions whilst making the white ranger that it could kill Tommy. Tommy’s in the white ranger costume on a slab being poked by space aliens and when you think about it, it’s really weird.
Beauty And The Beast
In ep 2x16, Billy and Kimberley discuss missing Tommy who has left town after losing his green ranger powers. Zedd is unquestionably committed to evil and wants to make Kimberley his queen. Kimberley wears an ugly pink hairclip. Billy goes on about roller-blades. Kimberley is abducted which is an occupational hazard of being a MMPR. Zedd is a high threat.
Kimberley gets a face full of magic dust and wears modesty shorts under her skirt. Kimberley ends up in Rita’s old costume and waving Rita’s old staff. Kimberley does a hilarious impersonation of Rita and screeches and scares Zedd’s goons. She’s deeply unhappy without Tommy, as were the fans.
Best Lines:
“Green ranger defeated and gone.”
“YOU’RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE!”
Zedd’s Monster Mash
In ep 2x21, they’ve redone the opening credits to show Tommy as the white ranger. It’s Halloween again. Nobody notes how Tommy now wears white instead of green. We see a kid dressed as the blue ranger. People talk about the upcoming peace conference. Foreshadowing! Jason, Zack and Trini aren’t in this ep as the actors had walked due to a pay/union dispute.
Tommy is dressed as a pirate. Is Tommy wearing lipgloss? Do the rangers ever go to school? Putties disguise themselves as kids dressed up as the MMPR. Tommy is in peril as putties attack him. Where did his do-rag go? Where did Zedd’s snake go? Why is a monster Scottish? Bulk and Skull are roundly eyed with suspicion and disapproval. You can see the wires holding the pink ranger up as she does flips. Tommy does a lot of unmorphed fighting to show off Jason David Frank’s martial arts skills. This was good. Tommy rides his tigerzord. Zedd utters malicious death treats. Tommy is darker and edgier which made him the standout among the MMPR and their supernatural lycra.
Best Lines:
“Little children dressed as hideous monsters demanding treats from perfect strangers.”
“Warrior mode.”
“Power brats.”
Welcome To Venus Island
In ep 2x10, Tommy wears a headband as he and Kimberley build a sandcastle with Trini. Bulk and Skull cause overall negativity. Even a kid calls them a dork. Tommy is still the green ranger. What does Tommy use the dragon dagger for? Tommy wears a green vest. There is discord. Trini wears a yellow scrunchie. Tommy has to stay behind when evil attacks. The MMPR beat up baddies with fists, feet and zords.
This was idiotic. Zedd does monstrous things. Tommy has long hair. A kick misses Trini. You can see the zips in the MMPR costumes. Tommy refuses to join the forces of evil, again. Tommy nearly passes out and fears being evil, again. This was undramatic. Bulk and Skull get a dead on description of the green and red rangers and still don’t guess their identities. What sort of teens would want to be magical warriors led by an ancient sorcerer facing down evil space aliens who use magic?
This show was controversial back in the day for being ‘violent’ and non-union. Jason David Frank had a wife and two kids whilst filming this show. He and David Yost who played Billy were best friends. They had huge open casting calls to cast this show, they cast people with martial arts training who could fight adequately on screen with no direction. So they choreographed their own fights. One question: how did Tommy play his magic flute with his helmet on?
Best Lines:
“To the beach putties!”
Weird.”
“Trim this weed.”
“Power punks.”
“Lost his evil control.”
“Long brown hair, hazel eyes, very muscular.”
