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Movie Reviews: Clown + Society + Scar + The Master + The Last Witch Hunter

Clown (2014)
Peter Stormare features in this boring horror about a family man who puts on a clown costume for his son’s birthday party. And he can’t take it off. It’s irremovable and turning him into a child eating demon. Stormare babbles about the real inspiration for clowns as daddy dearest cracks up. The supernatural proof onlookers are dumb. There is a cure for the clown suit but it breaches basic democratic values. The husband is a systematic threat and a chaotic manifestation of evil.

The kid doesn’t seem to understand daddy’s transformational encounter with the clown suit that has lead to transformational possibilities. One can’t even feign interest. There are no waves of fear, just a negative impact and acute behavioural disturbance. Stormare has weary wisdom and penetrating perception and he has a wear perceptive stare. Daddy has wilful intentions towards stupid kids.

Best Lines:
“Who double books a clown?”

“Clown marks on the coach.”

“Given the demon what it demanded.”

“What if someone else found it?”

“Where could a clown go?”

“Making him do bad things.”

“You look like an escaped mental patient.”

“A maniac dressed as a clown.”

~
Society (1989)
Bill (Billy Warlock) senses something terrible lurking beneath the respectable veneer of his respectable rich family. Soon he’ll learn that the rich have always fed on the poor. Bill does not trust or fit in with his family, for very good reason as it turns out. The rich are different and like to have a crystal bowl full of slugs around and that's just the start of their wrongness. The rich can mutate and distort their bodies and eat the poor. Bill likes Clarisa but their sex scene gets creepy. Rich bastard Ferguson lurks. Bill has banal stupidity. This is an off kilter film about an off kilter world but it is mediocre due to illogical actions and bad acting. The ending is memorable.

Best Lines:
“What are you hopped up on?”

“We’re changing.”
“Into what?”

~
Scar (2007)
Christopher Titus is in this ridiculous, over-harsh looking ‘horror’. A girl who was a final girl in a 1991 serial killer incident returns to her home town Ovid. Her brother (Titus) is a cop. Outdated phones are talked down. There is talk about an ipod and the 1991 torture dungeon has been turned into a museum. Is this for real or a wry satire? This was ridiculous.

Best Lines:
“The stop sign is there to make you stop.”

“Queen of the fish.”

“Your royal horn.”

“What’s that loser doing here?”

“Shut your drunk mouth!”

~
The Master (2012)
Ghastly.

~
The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
Vin Diesel plays an immortal witch-hunter in this explosion of bad CGI and bad acting. What is the Axe And Cross? Michael Caine mumbles and then dies, sorta. Vin Diesel is hopelessly damaging and there is a doomed narrative of loudness and fighting and screaming and an obvious betrayal and incoherence.

Best Lines:
“Look like a terrible band from the 80s.”

“Immortal fascist.”
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