Wieners and Losers
Patty has tortured logic and has sex whilst keeping her bra on. There is no noisy acclaim for this. Patty’s point proving exercise bores. This is entirely devoid of substance. Evil Bob has a sense of unease. One gets the feeling this is building to a terrible climax. Magnolia’s gone off the rails and gone to rehab. Dixie wears nice earrings. This tries to be very John Waters.
Patty’s not distanced from past events. Patty is grievance-fuelled. She shouldn’t carry those resentments through the rest of her life. Patty regrets hooking up with Christian for knickers-off o’clock. Patty thinks she’s knocked up. This is not entirely convincing and excelling. Patty’s self serving and has an unstable manic personality. There is no strong premise. Patty’s everything you expected her to be. Dixie has zany outbursts. Patty reacts negatively and is depressingly egocentric.
Patty’s reckless and irresponsible and totally incompetent and entirely devoid of substance and totally useless. Bob’s dad is sick and still a horror. Coralee lurks. There is no mischief and fun. Coralee’s vituperative. There is no collective sense of priorities. This is not the darkest and weirdest. Patty’s in dire need of psychological help. This was not compelling. Patty spins into chaos. This has no intrinsic uniqueness.
How does Patty plan to pay for the planned procedure? This show has trenchant critics. Evil Bob has left the DA’s office and has joined Bob’s law firm. Coralee’s hair makes her look 75. Patty’s not pregnant. She has a chimera, a parasitic twin she consumed in utero. This ep is specially uninteresting. The Pastor thinks the twin is a demon. Evil Bob is evil and Bob’s boss and horrendous. He also claims to be broke and is into evil trades. Bob fistfights Evil Bob in the men’s convenience.
Dixie attacks Patty. Evil Bob is a brutal presence and makes out with Bob and declares his love for him. Evil Bob claims he caused hassle because he has loved Bob for years. Are we supposed to forget Evil Bob’s mistreatment of Bob? Why does no-one stop scurrilous Dixie from assaulting Patty?
Best Lines:
“He had picked me.”
“Hold your roll.”
“Wiener queen.”
“Over-focus.”
“My family’s normal. I don’t know what any of that means.”
“Heat from your butt.”
“Let’s the swimmers get through.”
“Spiritual sanctity.”
“Eats her own twin.”
“It’s very very rare.”
“It’s my body.”
“Not according to the law.”
“No good choice.”
“Let me skip military school.”
“I love you.”
“No you don’t.”
~
The Exchange
Where did Will’s video camera and laptop go? That isn’t answered as Jay and Tyler are irate and have distrust and grievances and danger as Will has returned amidst violent chaos which unfolds chaotically. Jay and Tyler’s lives were crimped and blighted by Will. And so this show ends with this ep.
Jay is stupid. Marlowe is sullen and she has a whole set of assumptions ripped apart. She shoots Will. He walks it off. His reunion with the duo is acrimonious. Will perpetrated many wrongs. Jay thinks if he emphasises his innocence loudly and often enough, people will listen. Will is unyielding. It’s only 5 days and 19 hours since the bombing.
Jay still thinks Will bombed the Drexler. FBI guy roars and thinks he’s doing a highly intense performance. He’s not. The extreme damage Will did can’t be undone. Jay rages. Tyler is enormously exasperating. This is not exhilaratingly tense. Jay is not a melancholic figure. There is no hope or possibility. Will has no determined charm but does have a problematic relationship with the truth. Who is the sinister collective behind it all? There is a fist fight and I hate Jay, I really do.
Will patches up his gunshot wound. Where did Will go when he disappeared into the ether between 1x01 and 1x03? Will reveals how he lied and met their social needs. Jay does not have a strong moral code just absurd intellectual vanity. Also he’s hostile and ungracious. They’re in a parlous state but Jay is still self-admiring.
Will’s unexplained absence between 1x01 and 1x03 makes no sense if he planned to run off with Maya. Will inflicted hazards on others and carried out deliberate fraud. Jay and Tyler’s long, stressful and public shocking experience goes on. What is Will’s real name? We never learn. The catastrophic upheaval goes on. Jay’s incapable of graciousness. Where is the manhunt for the trio? Jay and Tyler do not seem to be on constant guard. Jay thinks he’s a humble and saintly man. The denunciation of Jay and Tyler does not end. Does Will ever utter the absolute truth?
Marlowe stares at documents. Will babbles about Operation Hometown. The atmosphere of hatred annoys. Will’s unyielding. There is no rising tension. Why are the duo surprised that the government spies on its on citizens? There is no sign or mention of the porter. Who was he? Why was he chasing Will? I feel complete disregard for the smug Jay. Kim is in big trouble and eyerolls as she is hauled off to a blacksite.
Neal McDonough of ‘Walking Tall’ and William Sadler guest star. There’s no possibility or optimism. I don’t really care about doleful Kim’s fate. Why isn’t Tyler’s car being examined? Tyler is terse to Will. Marlowe does real intellectual action. Will made inaccurate representations of himself. How do we know he’s not still doing that? Where did Jay get wire-cutters? Nobody notices the trio outside a police impound? Does Will have any genuine remorse? This was ingenious and monstrous crimes go unpunished.
There is no irreparable rift between Will and the duo. Is the Drexler ruined? Will has the painting. What was so important about it? Why did he steal it? How did he know to steal it? It isn’t explained. I wish Jay would shut up. The FBI accepts Will’s existence. Jay’s tender act is an act. Marlowe meets Joseph. This show had bracing brevity. There is a child’s scooter in Joseph’s house, were they a thing in 2007?
Will is clever and resourceful. Joseph tries to kill Marlowe. Who is he? Jay and Tyler have complete indifference to Maya’s death - which they caused! Jay and Tyler have bad reputations. Their imagined relationship with Will left them in a dire state and now they’re teaming up with him? FBI guy lacks fundamental decency. We’ve known this since he showed up being shifty in 1x01. There is a legacy of pain and suffering.
How did Will get Freed’s phone number? Where is Tyler’s brother? Carlton Fog is arrested. Will has extraordinary viciousness and dishonesty and complete disregard. Carlton Fog is shot. Why? Why did he serve up Tyler? Why was the Drexler bombed? How long was this planned? There is no care for fairness or accuracy or moral progress. Marlowe’s sidekick is shot. There is no clarity. All attention isn’t positive. There is justification and a bleak warning.
Marlowe is on the edge of melancholy. How did the trio break into the parking lot of Freed’s workplace? How do they carry off Freed (McDonough), a man who works for Homeland Security, without being noticed? Marlow learns of her boss’ foul habits. There is a stage punch, a counterreaction and no retraction of the charges against Jay and Tyler. Jay is unseemly. There are unanswerable questions. Will is a liar, a bounder and a cad.
Will was working for Freed unknowingly? Freed does a big villain speech in which he babbles about The Fourth Branch and the trio record it and plan to expose him in the media by dropping him off at a newspaper. Then Freed’s limo blows up. How? Who did that? Will, Tyler and Jay are called terrorists. What is The Fourth Branch? The trio are all connected to it. What was the Drexler about? What did Jay think dropping Freed off outside a newspaper would accomplish? Who blew up Freed?
There is no justice, just running. Jay and co are now connected to another bombing which killed the boss of Homeland Security who is the former Head of the FBI outside a major newspaper. Well done Jay. This was very good. Doesn’t FBI guy have caller ID? Doesn’t he know Marlow called him? Wouldn’t Marlowe know her boss’ phone number? What’ll happen to Kim at the blacksite?
Who took all Will’s stuff out of their hotel room back in 1x01? Did their hotel bill ever get paid? The VFX of the second bombing looked bad. Why didn’t they make a copy of the confession or put it online? Jay’s cunning plan devised with ill-deserved confidence went awry. TPTB put a blog out that explained how this show would have gone if it hadn’t been cancelled. You should be able to find it with some hunting. I miss this show.
Best Lines:
“He’s not our friend.”
“You framed us Will.”
“Was anything you told us true?”
“What government do you work for?”
“Yours.”
“Sewer check.”
“I’ll tell you the truth about everything.”
“Last time these three were together we lost the Drexler.”
~
One Bad Day
Jeremiah’s dress sense has deteriorated. Nobody is sad he was driven mad by his brother or talks about fixing him. Season 4 has been a woeful fiasco. A clock tower blows up. Was that a ‘Birds Of Prey’ reference? Bruce rages. He can’t act. At all. Who cast him? Lee’s totally oblivious to sense. This show seems less and less relevant with each ep. Riddler’s an annoying idiot. This show has been relentless years of dreck.
Jeremiah’s new sinister aspect has utterly determined unswerving ambition. The long suffering city has had enough of these nutcases. The appalling Riddler has crass disrespect. Alfred is in peril. This was not freighted with risk. This is not a harrowing medication on dangerous, volatile people and their darker psychological depths. Bruce isn’t avenging the suffering of the human race, just throwing a temper tantrum. Again.
This was inconsistently written. If Bullock thanked Penguin, things might be different. This wasn’t thrilling, tense or dark. This was made by drooling imbeciles. There are no real or valuable opinions. Cruel soul Jeremiah shoots Selina. Oh boo.
Best Lines:
“You’re more sick than your brother.”
“Fighting your ex-boyfriend’s rotting corpse.”
“Swamp boy.”
“Die screaming.”
“Butch’s corpse.”
“And that.”
~
The Tholian Web
The USS Enterprise looks for the USS Defiant. A plotline that would be followed up in ‘Star Trek: Enterprise’ and ‘Star Trek: Discovery’. People wear hazmat suits and forget about Spock’s mutiny. McCoy’s constant belittling of Spock goes on. Kirk is feared dead and people are dispirited. Anxiety is generated. There are no thrills just anxieties. This is soulless. An area of space causes emotionally chaotic reactions. McCoy spews inflammatory rhetoric. Chekov screeches. This fails dismally and is an accumulation of disappointments.
The Tholians show up and have fierce opposition. Space is a hostile environment. McCoy has perceived impunity to rules about proper behaviour. Spock has assurances. McCoy makes even disparaging remarks. Tholians do ongoing intimidation. People get into a frenzy. Tholians are punitive. This causes a paucity of interest. McCoy ignores societal proprieties and spews real hatred and real resentment at Spock. He’s also dismissive and isn’t helping precarious morale.
This was aesthetically inept and there is no sign of religion in the future. Season 3 was not rapturously received. I did not find significance in this. People are distraught. Kirk’s will is on a message tape. McCoy is indescribably crude. The Tholians are ominous. Uhura goes hysterical. There is a mention of Klingon nerve gas and McCoy’s medbay seems full of pancake syrup bottles.
Best Lines:
“His life was sacrificed for nothing.”
“I just can’t believe that you want Jim’s command.”
“I am in command of the Enterprise.”
“I would like to remedy that situation.”
“Mental disease.”
“We shall not see home again.”
~
Pilot
The sheriff of a small seaside town does the downward dog at a yoga class only to be told there are bodies on a beach nobody goes to. Why does nobody go to the beach? There are bodies on the beach and in the sea. Who are these peoples in the water? This has an okay title card. The sheriff (Steven Zahn of ’The Perfect Getaway) has a bitchy ex. But of course he does.
Sandrine Holt and Rick Gomez and Jay Karnes of ’12 Monkeys’ co-star. What is HIS? There are only 47 survivors. They want asylum. The sheriff’s name may be Jude. A creepy kid named Leah receives undue attention. Leah doesn’t know what the Bible is. They talk about a war and time travel. Another survivor hides evil things. There are unexpected revelations.
They’re from an utterly brutal unimaginably distant time. Are they being forthright? I have curiosity to see more. What is the narrative endpoint of this? There is talk of genetic destiny and evolved humans. Is this like ‘Prey’? The mainly good natured sheriff bumbles. Are their assertions true? It looks likely. Cosmic questions are raised. Leah’s ‘mother’ is on fishing trawler acting shifty.
There is blathering about Apex. Over 400 people drowned. There are tantalising details of the future where a genetic caste system led to genocide by a master race. Said master race are the Apex and they are unrelentingly cruel. Why is it not bright in the future? Nobody priorities human dignity. There is babbling about the long peace. There are no toys in the future. The sheriff is threatened with a gun. There is talk of other refugees with an agenda. Leah’s ‘mother’ is Apex. What is the forever place?
The survivors are put in a camp ground. This was good. There’s another refugee from the future hiding in a government job. The sheriff is stalked by the Apex predator.
Best Lines:
“There’s no war here.”
“There will be.”
“My dad paid someone to get me past the checkpoints. It was everything he had.”
“They took over the government. They took over every government.”
“I don’t trust desperate people.”
“Engage socially.”
“The ones you need to fear.”
“I could go right through you.”
“Their meat comes from real animals.”
“Have a family. Again.”
“The America of old.”
“Genetic overlords.”
“She’s a threat to my town.”
“Hardcore Tomb Raider she-bitch.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Longer than you think.”
“We’re not the first ones to come here.”
A Shadow Out Of Time
We see images from 2187 (that look very 90s) that shows Reece (the Apex predator) and her fellow Apex killing commons. She stole a common baby aka the normal human Leah and raised her. Other Apex wanted it dead for being weak. The Apex are genetically modified killing machines with no compassion who committed genocide on normal humans. The Apex are into ugly rectitude and black and white outfits. They also stole normal children.
Leah has skin markings. There are varying motivations and Reece is breathtakingly single minded and stubborn. Isn’t the future already irrevocably changed by the 2 lots of refugees being here? Brian Markinson and Melinda McGraw guest star. There is mumbling and Jude the Sheriff is dumb. The Apex seem to be like the Draka. Jude has no sustainable concerns about Reece the genoicidal warm criminal running around his town. Jude has a questionable past. Now wonder this show wasn’t much feted. This ep is terrible and not potentially exciting. It is full of negative thoughts and plotting. Jude is a moron.
Best Lines:
“Burned centuries of human history to the ground.”
“Put your family first this time.”
“There is no future for them.”
“They wanted this planet for themselves.”
“And now they have it.”
~
Goodnight, Sweet Prince
Woz hides and Harlee is bothered. Stahl pervs. Nate’s smug and Stahl’s FBI side-chick is dumb. Tess is tempted. Why doesn't Harlee have a security system? Stahl lurks. Christina is stupid. FFS, end this.
Best Lines:
“I can think like him.”
“God I hope not.”
“Proof I cannot erase.”
“Make him see the light or Enrique never will.”
"I'm not a criminal."
"Yeah, maybe not today."