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Movie Reviews: Calibre+The Reef+Psycho II+Alpha Dog+The Zombie Diaries+5 others

Calibre (2018)
Two dude bros into rape jokes, drugs and irresponsibility go on a deer hunting trip to Scotland while having contempt for girlfriends and their unborn children. This terrible movie deserves unequivocal condemnation. This was not competent or unusual. The duo are not dignified or resolute. There are thick accents and the duo have no deep seated concerns about their behaviour. They and this film are all inadequacies.

The duo cause chaotic, lethal bedlam in the town. This has systemic failure. They pick avoidable fights and have a chilling effect on all around them. They pick up two women and act in deliberate and reckless fashion. The locals turn hostile. There is overt malice and aggression and grim conditions in this abysmal film.

They cause stabbing glares with their caustic air and intense negativity and dogged persistence in being irritating. There is mumbling and cruel and unnecessary things are done. The easily slighted locals are annoyed that one of the duo is on drugs and sharing them around. The duo do not respond to acts of love, mercy or remorse. They have no moral high ground and their personal truth is ugly.

Inevitably bad things happen. There is no foreboding. Interest is systematically undermined from 1 minute in. You can’t blame the terse locals for hating them. The duo should be debarred from Scotland for life and more or less are. There is no sincere regret, the brazen jerk duo cause anxiety. One of them shoots a child who was wandering near a deer during hunting season for some reason.

It’s the duo’s morbid duty to do nothing wise after this terrible accident. They shoot the child’s father to cover up the accident. Naturally this is poorly received. They are the aggressors. They don’t seem to have raised anxiety levels in this continual failure of a film. They cover up the deaths (badly) and only want to safeguard their own peace and stability.

The camera lingers on a sign for Ravens Fell Road, which isn’t important. The duo obviously haven’t seen ‘Very Bad Things’. They are wilful egotists of an unbending disposition who try to justify their unjustified acts. They say they wouldn’t do well in the yard. They ignore associated consequences and have total certainty that ignoring ethical considerations is okay. They’re malevolent and non-complaint and not reasonable or responsible.

There are ongoing hostilities which kick off. There are no positive, functioning relationships. Fractiousness is common. I intensely disliked this. Nobody acts in a responsible fashion. Self-indulgent rude twits say things when their opinions are not asked for. They’re also loud and hubristic. Things get stark and unkind with significant integrity issues. There is no proper respect.

Things go wrong for the duo and there is not a queue of people lining up to do them favours. What is the duo’s force of character that they keep doing stupid things? Nobody is non-judgemental or compassionate. The twit duo cause harm and aggravate factors by ongoing misconduct. The duo give themselves away and revenge is inflicted. Jack Lowden and Martin McCann starred in this crap.

Best Lines:
“It’s illegal for you to even use my gun.”

“We’re not burying people.”

“Maintain the order of things.”

“Nothing happened here.”

The Reef (2010)
This is a boring Australian movie based on true events. A group of friends are on a sailing holiday when the boat capsizes and they are dumped into shark infested water. A guy suggests they swim to an island. This leads to death and blood and a sad ending.

Best Line:
“I know what’s out there.”

Psycho II (1983)
It’s 22 years later and Norman Bates is coming home. Antony Perkins, Vera Miles, Robert Loggia, Meg Tilly of ‘Carmilla’ and Dennis Franz star in this boring film. This is not faithful to the book. Norman is judged restored to sanity and released. Mrs Loomis (Miles) is depicted as a shrill virago and termagant who hates him and wants him kept locked up. She comes up with a plan to drive him mad and send him back to the loony bin.

The inherently psychopathic Norman returns to the Bates Motel which is still standing along with the creepy house. Mrs Loomis has unremitting hostility for Norman who she treats with incivility. There is menacing uncertainty around Norman. The 1980s look like a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Norman befriends a waitress named Mary (Tilly) who is actually a honeypot sent by her mother Mrs Loomis.

This is a fiasco. Franz yells "loony" at Norman a lot before being killed. People make bad decisions. All people do is cause problems. This is not very very terrifying. This was not made with formidable intellect and is not the bleakest. Norman has no intellectual support. Nobody is taciturn. Does Norman have innate evilness? It seems so. Mrs Loomis used to be Lila Crane. She married her sister’s sloppy seconds. Her husband is now dead. And so are a lot of other people by this film’s end.

Mrs Loomis clarifies her purpose repeatedly and loudly. She puts her daughter Mary near a man she calls a serial killing loon as part of her evil plan. People dig up Norma. Norman never apologises or expresses regret for murdering people. There are questions about Norman’s maternity. Mrs Loomis has measured celerbrance of her crapulence and predeterming of Norman’s guilt.

This belated sequel is unsuccessful. There is significant violence. Norman has a propensity to be a lightening rod for incidents. There is destruction and diligence. Norman has a prowling presence. Mrs Loomis is volatile. Norman cracks up and the ending is disastrous. There are blatant acts of violence and aggression. I unequivocally condemn this. Norman is seen as having been under attack from hostile women (which he was). So Norman’s resolve is strengthened. There is no moral authority. There is no deep concern about Norman. The money shot at the end was on the VHS cover.

Best Lines:
“Mr wacko.”

“An adult motel.”

“Are you familiar with the Norman Bates case?”

“I’m not living for dead people.”

“I didn’t mean to.”
“Now that’s what Norman said 20 years ago. Only he was crazy, now what’s your excuse?”

“What do you expect us to live on? Hope?”

Alpha Dog (2006)
Bad true crime story.

Best Line:
“Stolen boy.”

The Zombie Diaries (2007)
This is a terrible low budget UK zombie movie in which people keep on going to investigate scary noises. There is bad acting and this makes no logical or narrative sense.

Best Line:
“There are strange dead things running around!”

Catwoman (2004)
No, this is a not a good tale of a superhero in an unforgiving reality.

For The Love Of Spock (2016)
Adam Nimoy made this movie about his father’s iconic character and the impact and burden of it. Leonard Nimoy died of COPD and this documentary is full of old clips, photos and footage. We see Nimoy mocking Shatner’s acting and we see original Chekov and he’s bald and fat and looks bad. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Serving fish tanks.”

“Fire almost the entire crew.”

“Treadmill to oblivion.”

Dead Snow 2: Red vs Dead (2014)
The sequel nobody asked for sees zombies talking and the sole survivor of the first film is accused of killing everyone. He and the head zombies switch arms. Don’t ask how. A zombie walking into a church causes stained glass to bleed. This has derangement and bland tonality as the evil bunch of zombies get grimmer. There is vicious vengeance planned. An annoying kids dies. There are lots of ‘comedy’ deaths. American zombie hunters show up. Zombies drive a tank. Russian zombies show up. The ‘hero’ does something really stupid at the end.

Best Lines:
“Just waiting for a zombie outbreak to happen.”

“Go Iranian on him.”


“I don’t speak the language of Thor.”

Gone Missing (2013)
Daphne Zuniga stars as a mother whose daughter goes missing on holiday. The wilful brat annoys. This is not even mildly entertaining. People drink out of paper cups. Did somebody purposefully allow the disappearance to happen? Oh who cares. Everyone is a hateful idiot with intransigent hostility.

The Colony (2013)
An artificial weather system created a new ice age. So now it’s a post apoc new ice age and one of the last bastions of humanity is an underground base which seems to be a converted seed bank. A whining young man ignores sage advice. They have trouble with their livestock and another colony has gone silent. A rescue mission is sent. Bill Paxton and Laurence Fishburn star. This has bad VFX. This isn’t hilariously terrible just misguided. They learn there is a thawed area where the pack ice has melted and there is sun and soil but no seeds. A cannibal tribe attacks. Bill Paxton kills people and doesn’t listen to sense. In the end a tiny number of survivors with one can of seeds goes to look for the warm spot. What about the livestock?!? How did one character have white girl dreads in the post-apoc ice age?

Best Lines:
“We live in fear of the common cold. The last flu wiped out 20 people in less than a week.”

“A shotgun in one hand and a shovel in the other.”

“After we ate the horses and the dogs.”

“Define alive.”

“Somebody found them.”
Tags: movie review, star trek

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