epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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GhostWars(2017-2018)1x01 + Quantico3x11+ NorthAndSouth1x04 + Insatiable 1x01+Star Trek 2x22+ 1 other

Death’s Door
A rundown redneck town is the setting for this dull TV show. The town thinks it has no pressing concerns but deceptive acts hide ghosts. Everyday reality is made brittle by the admission of the unreal. This tries for masculine realist drama as it features ghosts, blood, Kim Coates, Vincent D’Onofrio, Meat Loaf Aday, illusionist goings on and a dude who has gained a bad reputation. Nobody in this show seems to brush their hair. This was not extremely tantalising and it had no sage elders.

This was done with farcical seriousness. It had inexpert writing. Meat Loaf yells "freak" at some guy whilst wearing his jeans too high. This was not intellectually thoughtful. Ghosts of a malevolent nature lurk. Tensions are not alleviated and this makes for some grim viewing. Rocks fall, hopeless weirdoes lurk, there is a bus crash and people are totally self-involved. This is like really annoying. Issues are overblown and the town is cut off.

The ‘hero’ had non-acceptance in the town. He looks like a cross between Zayn and Magnus from ‘Shadowhunters’. People over-enthustically hate him. A crystal ball is fingered. Is direct confrontation with the spirit world coming? There is bad acting and people stare intently. A dude falls off a bridge. The town is named Port Moore. I am reminded of ‘Outcast’. Things are detrimental to the hero. Where is his mother?

This was trashy and not a tad classy. There is more death and condemnation. This undoubtedly fails. What is having such an adverse impact on the town? People are morally serious. This is deeply regrettable. The hero’s mother is accused of cursing the town. There is a notorious hatred for his family. People are disparaging. This was a serious mistake. He talks to a girl host. The bartender likes him.

The hero’s name is Roman and Meat Loaf plays a guy named Doug. People planned to lynch Roman. The coroner and a cop listen to Roman, unlike his sworn enemies who are stupidly obsessed with him. He’s so hated. People are irascible and irritating. Roman’s eyes glow blue at one point. One character is the Scully. A bridge is wrecked. How do ghosts wreck a bridge? Various Asian characters are carved up. This was terrible.

Best Lines:
“Lash out at the living.”

“He doesn’t fit in! He doesn’t belong!”

“A hanging rope?”

“Say the words.”

“His heart exploded!”
“How?”

“Unseen things.”

~
The Art Of War
There are bad Irish accents and I missed 3x09&3x10. People seem unaware of Ireland; they refer to the Irish parliament not Dail. Harry has a sister?!? Did something happen to Lydia? Bad guys nobody cares about show up and immediately begin to cause havoc. There is no mention of the Belfast Agreement. Alex is not self-interrogating. Harry is stupid. Nobody has moral seriousness. This is the opposite of compelling. People are chillingly amoral. The FBI base is attacked. Owen is shot. Harry’s sister is sex trafficked in a shipping container to Dublin. The port she arrives at doesn’t look like Dublin port and the shipping container was full of women and had no toilet. Ew. This was absolutely inept and full of bad acting.

Best Line:
“We need something called evidence.”

~
North And South 1x04
Mrs Maine pleads ignorance of slave laws. She’s not a helpless little old lady; she’s been the lady of a slave plantation for decades. Hazards drip in diamonds. There are perms, fancy dresses and Ashton wears white flowers in her hair. People babble about states rights, slaves and secessionist separatists sneer with cynical calculation. Madeline is boring and intellectually humble. Since when is George a friend of Madeline?

Brett finally gets a man who won’t be stolen by the slutty Ashton. People shrug off the moral aspect of slavery. Charles thinks he learned dignity from Orry. Ashton infuriates people with her prurient interest in sex. It’s hinted she’s gets a sexual thrill from slave abuse. Orry’s stopped bellowing about the precariousness of the south. George is platitudinous. Orry runs Mont Royal now and has a continued refusal to free his slaves and change the trajectory of his life.

Virgilia is mocked for being polemical and having an antagonistic style about abolishing slavery. She’s right. Everyone laughs at her. Orry gets punitive. Ashton stares intently. Virgilia is Cassandra, she’s right and no one listens. There is unruliness. Orry is upset about a man’s slave being stolen - namely escaping. Ashton stirs the pot. George APOLOGISES to Orry over Virgilia helping a slave escape. George saw Orry nearly murder a slave for escarping! Orry gets huffy and ends their friendship. Why does George put up with his slaver BFF? FFS and Orry is toned down from the book

Orry and his critical reliance on and ambivalence to slavery. Madeline learns she has a slave ancestor and goes hysterical. Justin would kill her if he found out. Orry is gifted a copy of ‘Uncle Tom’s Cabin’ and while he admits it is based on the testimony of escaped slaves, he still says its trash and throws it away. Orry is a jackass. Charles graduates from West Point. There is a Robert E Lee mention. Orry won’t let Brett marry a Hazard.

Charles gets angry. Ashton hosts a gang-bang and makes a pass at Charles and gets knocked up. Ashton lies. Madeline unwisely helps her. Justin abuses Madeline some more and kills her slave. This miniseries has a determination not to surprise and is an absolute bore and is full of horrible awful people.

Best Lines:
“Decadent southern delights.”

“Did you bed with him?”

“Temper and your honour intact.”

“There’s an evil streak running through her blood.”

“Can’t condone what you’re willing to do.”

“They know that we’re not like that? Don’t they?”

~
Pilot
Patty is an unhappy fatgirl in a vindictive world and she wears tiny shorts. Bob is a lawyer/pageant coach who is a bitter rivalry with another lawyer/pageant coach also named Bob (Christopher Gorham of ‘Popular’, ‘Harper’s Island’ and ‘Covert Affairs’). People sport bad southern accents. Patty likes Brick. Patty wants to retake control. Her crush on Brick isn’t reciprocated.

I liked this and found it funny, unlike everyone else. The trailer and this show did not debut to critical acclaim. Patty has no self-fidelity and lives an unloved life. Bob is falsely accused of sexual molestation. Patty is harassed by a homeless man and they get into a fist fight. 3 months pass. Bob’s wife (Alyssa Milano) wears a bright green dress. Bob is Brick’s dad? Patty has lost weight due to having her jaw wired shut. Patty likes Bob. Patty is patently unhelpful to herself as she lives her life according to Drew Barrymore movies. A PI stalks people. A woman polishes a pink gun. Bob offers to coach Patty in beauty pageants, her jealous mother objects.

The homeless guy who punched Patty shows up. People talk about the Miss Magic Jesus pageant. Evil Bob’s daughter Magnolia doesn’t like her father. The Miss Salty Grits pageant is mentioned. Patty’s BFF likes her. Evil Bob hides evil behind a veneer of elegance. Patty seems crazy and desperate. This was a staggeringly crude, bad taste, very funny comedy.

Best Lines:
“Just one problem: her personality.”

“Screw those bitches.”

“Stuffing another hole.”

“That’s a lot of swallowing. Even for you.”

“Isis? Like Italian ices?”

“He touched her hoo-hoo!”

“Nobody cares about fatties or homeless people!”

“Started working at the wiener-taco.”

“The daddy/daughter chastity dance.”

“Adele. Again.”

“We’re best friends. Like in ‘Heavenly Creatures’!”

“She looks like an underage hooker!”

“Like Drew Barrymore famous.”

“Follow an underage drunk girl upstairs.”

“I’d do you in your cardboard box kind of way.”

~
By Any Other Name
A group of aliens commit a power transgression on the Enterprise. D.C. Fontana co-wrote this. The Enterprise is hijacked and flown toward the Andromeda galaxy. The aliens are Lovecraftian creatures from Andromeda who disguise themselves as humans. The opportunistic aliens are mean. Spock uses unemotional language. The aliens are in pursuit of conquest.

Space food that looks like bath salts is eaten. Scotty gets an evil alien drunk. Kirk makes out with a female alien. We see Scotty’s damaged hand. McCoy forgets the Do No Harm part of his vow. Scotty has very stereotypically Scottish décor in his cabin as well as a hideous green velour carpet. Scotty passes out drunk.

Kirk gets into a fistfight with an eldritch abomination alien. The female alien stands around uselessly. The aliens just stand down and the ep just ends. This was stupid. The obviously malicious aliens relaxed their constant scrutiny and their stealthy achievement of stealing a starship are just shrugged off. Seriously, it just ends.

Best Lines:
“The fate of the inferior.”

“We do not colonise! We conquer! We rule!”

“I’m stimulating him.”

~
Picnic At Hanging Rock 1x05
The opaque plotting and negative consequences go on. There are flashbacks and Mrs Appleyard has a dark heart. The events at the picnic can only lead to a limited number of nasty outcomes. This is not pathos drenched. The last remnants of my interest is long gone. Mrs Appleyard has a boyfriend? A teacher is dragged out of the school by her awful brother. There are even more flashbacks to stuff nobody cares about. Irma mumbles. Marion slept with a teacher?!? Irma was abused by her stepfather. So much abuse. Miranda hates her family. This sucked and blew.

Best Line:
“None of us was there voluntarily.”

“Potatoes were served with fish.”

“Told a lot of nonsense by a lot of people.”
Tags: quantico, review, star trek
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