Digging Your Grave With Your Teeth
I guess there’s no opiod crisis in the small town. So an art gallery can function there. Sarah’s accent slips. Heather mumbles insanely. Sarah’s art gallery will be in a shop Heather once owned and lost. The landlords, Justin and Robin, drink and ignore their dubious business ethics. Robin is a cheater. Sarah paints.
Robin is nearly murdered but is saved. He doesn’t thank the man who saved him. Why does Justin have ‘Jersey Shore’ hair? Sarah visits the 1988 killer and ignores sense. There is no sign of a dreadful effect on the town from a loony on the loose. Sarah goes into a cave with only her smartphone and finds a skeleton.
There are spectacles of public discontent. Sarah pulls a Biblical Seven Deadly Sins murder theory out of her ass. A rabid cop rants. Nothing is clear and informative. This ep was inept. No-one is in a gregarious mood. Really unpleasant things are going on in town. There is no dizzying panic from the corpses stacking up. The town is a hostile environment. Sarah’s mother’s name was Rachel. Was she renting love? Why wasn’t the murder house ever sold? The grandmother knew about the sex tapes.
There is yelling and ACTINGS. Nobody worries about a potential escalation of the new killer. The 1988 victim who escaped with only a slashed face is now the town pastor. Robin shows no contrition for his cheating. The killer is carrying out an exercise in vengeance - his victims are awful people. Justin snorts cocaine or rather, what he thinks is cocaine. Nobody is profoundly sorry.
Who is Sarah’s blonde friend? Justin wears hideous pink trousers. The police are inept. Robin gets a funeral bouquet. Justin does a badly acted foaming mouthed death scene. Blood flies out of his mouth and eyes as he flexes and expires. He and Robin had such a nice house. Heather is the suspect. There is an attack. This was not of far reaching importance.
“Sea of weirdoes.”
“Only eat white things.”
“House with a past.”
“A psycho killer’s on the loose. Everyone’s in danger.”
“Rather dysfunctional family.”
“She’s a bigger story.”
“Queen slut of all sluts.”
“Be a little excessive.”
“His husband snorts poison and dies.”
Frances Conroy and Bianca Lawson guest star. The previous owners of the house died messily, that doesn’t put off the family from moving in. The daughter is bullied by a screechy girl. A faded southern belle neighbour Constance (Lange) wanders around being cryptically creepy. Tate (Peters) is a creepy kid who is having an acute psychotic episode.
Violet is a cutter. Ben is a crap shrink and starts fires while naked. The housekeeper (Conroy) looks like an old woman to the mother (Britton) and Violet but a hot chick dressed like a French maid to Ben. The mother is a hippy into ‘natural’ things and woo. Ben cheated and the mother had a miscarriage. Simmering resentments are stoked. There are mythic notions and perversion and little appreciation for sense.
Ben cries. There is a girl fight and a weird mural and Ben shrieks. There is an overwrought campy screaming match. Ben resents the dog. The mother and her call girl hair has sex with a man in a gimp suit. It wasn’t Ben. There is strobe lighting and Tate wears a t-shirt that declares Normal People Scare Me. Teen romance starts and stops. There is a chase scene and well founded concerns about the house are ignored.
Immense personal threat is shrugged off. Ben has sex panic. There are damaged reputations. This is not clear and informative. Well worn story tropes are entertaining in this bizarre ep. Ben ignores sense. There is stuff on the shady side going on! Move!
“Too many bad memories in here.”
“I kill people I like.”
“Somewhere clean and kind.”
“I hate trees.”
“I’ve heard a lot worse.”
“Oil soap kills the wood.”
“Hates everyone and everything.”
“You narcissistic asshole!”
“Piledriving her in our bed!”
“I’m a dealer and a good one.”
“I want my goddam drugs.”
“Peeking in people’s windows is still a crime. Even in LA!”
“Don’t make me kill you again.”
One Year In
“I don’t matter.”
“Lexicon of bad words.”
“Removed it from consideration.”
“I abhor what you stand for.”
“Modicum of loyalty.”
“Thwarted at every turn.”
Sting Of The Tail
“Viral gestation cycle.”
“These halls were walked by Lincoln, FDR and Kennedy.”
“Milk human tragedy.”
“Trying is not the same as getting.”
“Traffic in over-statement.”
“It’s like Uber with handcuffs.”
Hard Facts: Vandalism And Vulgarity
“A history of poor decisions.”
“He’s really into string.”
“A teacher vendetta.”
Dylan learns everyone thinks he is a hopeless, stupid, idiotic, burnout loser. He wears an I Don’t Carrot All t-shirt. A guy nearly dies at a post-prom party and this reveals something. Dubious school politics are discussed as well as the Morning Show 9. Dylan’s arrested and lives up to his beyond redemption tag. This was sad.
“Doing the dicks with her.”
“Pep rally walkout.”
“Known dick drawer.”
“Pulling my balls out of waistband.”
“The wayback boys.”
“It’s called a lie.”
“I’m the bad guy.”
“Wrongfully expelled on his reputation alone.”
“Stamp of deficiency.”
“A reputation he’s earned.”
A Beautiful Darkness
What did Poison Ivy hear from Bruce? As for Bruce he shrugs off how society works to his advantage. Bruce has disregard for Alfred. Bruce hallucinates Ra’s Al Ghul. Poison Ivy has calculated fury. Jerome negatively segregates and isolates Penguin at Arkham. Gordon ignores the notoriously dangerous Sofia and Barbara and has disillusionment. Why is Alfred so unassertive when he deals with Bruce?
Poison Ivy can induce conformity and remove free will from people. Bruce hallucinates. Riddler visits Penguin. This was not powerfully concise. Bruce was investigating Lazarus Water? Bruce hallucinates Alfred, Batman, the Batcave and bats. This was unsubtle. The hallucination Batman does the Christian Bale whisper and Bruce shrills. Bruce still doesn’t apologise to Alfred. I’m tried of this show.
“Pees himself 10 times a day.”
“If I say yes will it make a difference?”
“Murders my little green friends.”
“Turned into a tree.”
“She’s changed. Like a lot.”
“She’s a psycho who turned a guy into a potted plant.”
“You’re scared, you should be.”
Helen used her dubious talents to remove Tesla’s vampiric nature and now she has to make him a vampire again. Helen’s shrill and annoying. How can Helen read the vampire language? Helen and Tesla encounter the Queen of the Vampires. If she’s been entombed for thousands of years - why is she dressed like a Goth? Tesla points out Helen’s myriad flaws and hypocrisy.
There is bad acting by the Vampire Queen. Lucky bitch Helen is not emotionally available. Tesla isn’t impressed by the Vampire Queen when she rejects him. Tesla points how out Helen let Jack The Ripper roam free. Helen’s gotten over losing her daughter. Tesla’s assumptions about the vampire race go out the window. The Vampire Queen heaves her boob armour and calls Tesla a “mixed blood mongrel”.
The ep becomes all about Helen, again. How does the Vampire Queen speak English? Helen’s insolence bores. The Vampire Queen’s court is under the stronghold in a very large, very modern looking warehouse. Helen tries to fight the Vampire Queen. How does Tesla survive the fight with the Queen? How does the Queen know the phrase: “password.”?
Of course Helen can read the vampire language better than Tesla. Helen nukes the vampires. This was mediocre with bad dialogue and bad acting. Still it did have Tesla. If the vampires existed before humans than how do they look human and what did they eat before humans showed up? This was illogical but okay.
“We’re about to make history. Again.”
“Stayed to serve.”
“Rule into eternity.”
“What my race achieved before humans even left the caves.”
“The last remnant of an extinct civilization.”
"He can have the past.”
“I hope you choke on it.”
“The time of returning.”
“I’d rather be a mongrel than a stuck up inbred bitch.”
Harlee was saved from Stahl because he called 911 over her bleeding. How is she back on duty? Where is Harlee’s daughter? It’s 4 months after the end of season 2. Woz’s office is now a storage closet and he wants things back to the way they were. 2 of his gang have lost their detective shields due to a disciplinary demotion. Woz’s corrupt squad has been busted up. Where did the FBI investigation go? Where is the investigation into Stahl’s craziness?
Harlee and co run into another group of corrupt cops. Harlee has hypocrisy and judges them. Nick Wechsler of ‘Roswell’ and Bruce McGill guest star. The kid who shot Woz has been locked up. Harlee wears ugly nude lipgloss. There is police brutality and Woz wields a huge gun. Woz runs into more problems. Woz and Harlee yap. This was mediocre and dull. Harlee’s PTSD leads to disaster and the loss of her man-candy. This has no undeniable pathos.
“Let’s go be good police.”
“I remember how to kick in a door.”
“Urinal cakes on my sofa!”
“Not going to impress the company we’re meeting.”
“They killed one of their own Woz.”
“You want a world where there’s no place for men like me.”
“NYPD! Run that light now!”
Harley’s Got A Gun
“It’s not laughing time, it’s someone dying time!”
“Pull evidence out of our ass.”
“Take em down hard.”
“Are we bonding? Cos I will resist.”