epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
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Movie Reviews: Heat + 13 Hours + 13 others

Heat (1995)
Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, Amy Brenneman, Dennis Haysbert, Ashley Judd, Wes Studi, William Fichtner, Natalie Portman, Hank Azaria and Jon Voight star in this over-rated heist film. The Val Kilmer meance lurks. There is humping and this ludicrous piffle is generally unimpressive and uniformly dull and irritating. De Niro leads a crew of violent murderous thieves, with an untameable appetite for money and violence.

They have cool objectivity and emotional nullity. This is grandiose claptrap and the thieves have homicidal feelings. There is 90s hair and self-congratulation, uncommented on violence in a diner and no collective shame. There is blue light and the thieves have a culture of impunity. Pacino is a rabid cop. Judd is Kilmer’s blonde galpal in a belly shirt. Kilmer is an abusive mulleted jackass. People yell down 90s phones. De Niro has a lady friend despite being rude to the permed idiot who has a scrunchie.

This was inherently joyless and the thieves have unconcern for life. There is yelling and Henry Rollins. A bad dude (Fichtner) plots, badly. There is dated tech. Kilmer ignores his wife and child. De Niro gets in Judd’s face. There is mannered acting. De Niro upsets the wrong people. The baddies try for a façade of energy, charisma and glamour. Kilmer and Judd regard each other as removable parts of their lives. There is no moralistic dimension. Pacino is disruptive and not order based. This is remake of ‘LA Takedown’.

This is a dated nonsensical boring mess that is aggressively boring. People seem to have active contempt for women. This is not a vertiginous creative zenith. De Niro and co think they are a ubiquitous terrifying force. Aberrant people die. Guns are shot. No, just no.

Best Lines:
“Empathy was yesterday.”

“Allow nothing to be in your life that you cannot walk out in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner.”

~
13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers Of Benghazi (2016)
There is violence and tension in Libya. The CIA and special operators do not get on. A guy in short shorts drags a tire. The CIA head is a tool. You know how this ended, this shows how it got there. This is bleak without pause. There is an attack and it’s like a zombie swarm from ‘World War Z’. Obstructive beuarcrats make matters worse. There is incoherent acting. Max Martini, John Badge Dale, Matt Letscher, Toby Stevens and John Krasinski star. This was mediocre and Hillary Clinton is not mentioned.

Best Lines:
“The drone sees you.”

“Get somebody who speaks Arabic so we can ask them a question!”

"Time for stealth is past."

“There is no real threat here.”

“Those guys yell at lot.”

“What are you doing coming out of the bushes like that?”

“The gunship is out of fuel and range.”

~
Hulk (2003)
Poo.

Stargate (1994)
Okay.

Cat Ballou (1965)
Okay.

Ghost (1990)
Blah.

Three Kings (1999)
No.

Aladdin (1992)
Annoying.

Cocktail (1988)
No.

Hard To Kill (1990)
Really daft.

The Bodyguard (1992)
Okay.

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof (1958)
No.

Existenz (1999)
Weird.

Lone Star (1996)
Bleak.

Presumed Innocent (1990)
Daft.
Tags: flash, kings, missing, movie review, prison break, rubicon, stargate
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