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‘Halloween’ (2018) trailer
The sequel to the original (which makes it ‘Halloween 2‘) which ignores all the other sequels and reboots. People unwisely bother Micheal who is locked up in some Gitmo style loony bin. Laurie Strode is a grandmother and wants Michael dead. There are teeth, scares, the theme music, guns, a secret passage and how did he get into the closet? Looks good, I’ll be there.

‘A Star Is Born’ (2018) trailer
Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga star in yet another remake. He plays a country singer who is an addict. She is a singer. Cue singing, romance and stuff being smashed.

‘Get Shorty’ promo
A wildly miscast Chris O’Dowd stars. No, hell no.

‘Lethal Weapon’ promo
The greasy unwashed one was fired.

‘Hereditary’ TV spot

‘Skyscraper’ TV spot
A bit ill-timed this.

Best Line:
“Keep going up.”

‘Counterpart’ promo

‘Murder In Suburbia’ promo

‘Stath Lets Flats’ promo

Salad cream - yum.
Apple, cucumber, lemon, orange juice with elderflower extract - okay.

Anthony Bourdain RIP.

Who saw ‘Space Truckers’ (1996) or ‘Shock Treatment’ (1981) or ‘Grizzly’ or ‘Amazon Women On The Moon’ (1987) or ‘Nightmares’ (1983) or ‘Double Trouble’ (1992) or ‘The Masque Of The Red Death’ (1964) or ‘Dolls’ (1987) or ‘Carnival Of Souls’ (1962) or ‘Men Don’t Leave’ or ‘Betty Blue’ (1986)?

Was Chris Grahamson the actor who played the cute constable in episode 1x03 of ‘A Very English Scandal’?

The Mandarian Oriental in Knightsbridge caught fire, I’ve been there!

They’re making a Joker movie with Jared Leto?

I am done with ‘SEAL Team’.

I’d try olive-oil and bay leaf ice-cream.

They’re rebooting ‘Willy Wonka’?

Recall ‘Ski Sunday’?

Val Kilmer is in ‘Top Gun 2’?

A ‘Legally Blonde 3’? Why?

Gesamtkunstwerk - a total work of art.

Anaerobia - the inability to experience pleasure from activities usually found enjoyable by others.

I want a picnic basket and a Persian hand-blown hand-painted glass tumbler and jug. I also want a green tsavorite and white diamond drop necklace and stacking rings made from white and black diamonds, blue and pink sapphires and rubies and 18kt gold. I also want a Faberge locket with a ladybird surprise and I want an 18kt white gold diamond and sapphire pendant.

Recall sun visors? Viennetta? The 99 Flake? Wafers?

I won’t read ‘Brief Cases’ or ‘Shadowed Souls’ or ‘The Pan Book Of Horror’.

Blue mascara is still a thing?

There are edible photographs and gelatin robots and cashew cheese? And Tomato dust, Pickle mustard and Almond soup?

House of Fraser is closing stores.

Where are the old pigeons?

Aungier Danger is to revamp?

Still doing work on LJ.

‘Jezebel’ Quotes:
“Allowed to us.”

“Empowerment language.”

“Makeup exclusion.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Attempting to bond with Kim Gordon over the salad bar.”

“Used to follow weirdly dressed people around town in the hopes they would lead me to something more interesting.”

“Never afforded the same reverence.”

“The charisma of a used swimming sock.”

“Fascinated by this epoch.”

“My only remaining chance.”

“Too much about lads in bands.”

“You do not have to go to great lengths to be difficult.”

“Thinks you’re difficult because you’re inconveniencing them.”

“Cruising on the reputation of one obnoxious, over-testeosteroned book.”

“Tend to not want anyone to be upset with them.”

“1 per cent of the population was incarcerated, often without legal process or appeal.”

“Social contaminant.”

“Scene of protest.”

"Mean world syndrome.”

“Reputationally toxic.”

“The year that changed America.”

“Marginal characters on the fringe of society.”

“The art of trying to look like a Kardashian.”

“Decaying into folly.”

“The values of the younger generation invariably become the cultural norm.”

“Appalled at what the next batch of youth believe.”


‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Victimised by media coverage.”

“Unfairly destroyed by false allegations.”

“Nostalgic miasma of an imagined 1950s in the days before divorce, career women, single mothers, perverts and ethnic minorities caused mortal moral decline.”

“You’ve never done anything good since 1982.”

“Disparity between public perception and reality.”

“Portray him in the worst possible light.”

“Asked him what he’d be doing if he hadn’t ended up running strip clubs. He said: ‘Two words: benefit fraud’.”

“A relationship now defined in the public eye by betrayal and rage.”

“Enormous influence over the political agenda.”

“Stitched into a bull’s hide to be brought back to England for burial.”

“Nothing this old with legs has been discovered to date.”

“Pathologise a group of young people in which every transgression is seen through the lens of feral youth terrorising wealthy Londoners.”

“No legal obligation to remove her.”

“He found her conducting the song - with a toothbrush - from a first floor window while the suffragette inmates marched round the courtyard below singing The March Of The Women.”

“Treated abominably by the establishment and savaged by the press.”

“Refusal to submit to passivity and silence,”

“Going home to face an angry partner, domestic chores and existential emptiness.”

“A muster of feral peacocks has been attacking luxury cars.”

“She coined the filtered Instagrammed world 20 years before Instagram was invented.”

“Devised an entire aesthetic.”

“Financially manageable.”

“Drink £8 pints they cannot reciprocate.”

“Meandering pleasure of pub chat.”

“A man with a fuse so short he once punched a monkey on a TV show.”

“Admit to having eaten the ear of a cadaver while on acid and working in a morgue.”

“Death spiral of sex and absinthe.”

“Admittedly, it would stretch credulity.”

“Living off shoplifting.”

“A cry from the street.”

“Once I’d seen Jello Biafra, I knew I was not going home.”

“Outlasted yet another government.”

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Sex encounter venues.”

‘RTE News’ Quote:
“Float properly.”

‘American Housewife’ Quotes:
“Getting drunk at a gas station at 9:30 in the morning.”

“Made jello shots out of toilet water.”

“I bet you even started wearing underwear.”

“50/50 on wearing a shirt.”

‘Let’s Get Physical’ Quotes:
“Hippo in spandex.”

“Your old house.”
“One of them, we were evicted from several.”

‘FTWeekend’ Quotes:
“Heroin hidden in his underpants.”

“Lacteal secretion.”

“That postwar favourite that came in a tin, contained six forms of flavoured biomass that tasted like they’d never been near a tree, and looked like melted Lego, all embalmed in a sugar syrup that could strip the enamel off your teeth at a five-metre range.”

“Jacket potato sort of place.”

“Just because you’re near-hysterical with stress and grief doesn’t mean there isn’t a dark conspiracy surrounding you.”

‘Poirot’ Quotes:
“Furtive walks.”

“Is there something queer going on Sir?”

‘Reeling In The Years’ Quote:
“Puke football.”

‘Friday Night Dinner’ Quote:
“Arse worm.”

On ‘Hollyoaks’: People are harangued and harassed. Cindy can’t move her face. A recast Liberty is back, she sings badly. Harry’s arrested for prostitution, AGAIN. Marnie has ever-smiling venom and no one is decent and honourable.

Best Lines:
“He cheated on me with a Cheeky Girl tribute act.”

“Refused to have a wash for a week.”

“Crushed my dreams.”

An ode to my PC (2004-2018)
My Windows XP PC has died after 14 years. I got it in 2004 and despite an initial bizarre episode involving vanishing icons; it served me well until it didn’t. It died and the tetchy Microsoft helpline were no help to my exasperated fury. Well, it’s dead and useless now. So piss off Microsoft. My PC has taken years worth of fanfic (‘Smallville’, ‘Lost’, ’Buffy The Vampire Slayer’, ‘Numb3rs’, ‘Man From UNCLE’, ‘The Man In The Iron Mask(1998)’ and ‘Hannibal’) with it. It also took games (Bejellwed!) and photo editing software and DVD screen capturing software and art software. Also it took my ‘V For Vendetta’ photos, my ‘Star Trek’ photos, my ‘Man In The Iron Mask(1998)’ photos and ‘Lost’ pics as well as various ‘Days Of Our Lives’ clips featuring Tony. Sigh.


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