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Trailers, Quotes and a 1999 Tape Tale

‘Charmed’ (2018) trailer
The original ran 1998-2006 and of course now they do a reboot. The mother is platitudinous. The attic window is broken. A long lost half sister shows up. So there is a new Piper, a new Phoebe who is a telepath and Prue and Paige are made into one character. The new Leo lurks. Who killed their mother? The Book of Shadows is seen. The Underworld is mentioned. This looks ugh.

Best Lines:
“There is a reasonable explanation.”

“Not even slutty ones.”

‘The Breadwinner’ TV spot
No.

‘Mowgli’ promo
Stop trying to make Andy Serkis happen!

‘Killer In My Village’ promo
No.

‘Manifest’ trailer
A plane lands after 5 years. Cue sap. No, HELL NO!

Best Lines:
“One little decision can ruin your life.”

“Had no interest in being investigated.”

‘The Fix’ trailer
A Marcia Clark show about a woman who prosecutes a movie star for the murder of his ex-wife. He is acquitted. 8 years later, his girlfriend is killed. So she comes back. The evil defense lawyer cackles, Robin Givens is the ex and this looks GOOD.

Best Line:
“He did it again.”

“Fear response.”

“The bitch is back.”

“Tear the place down to the studs.”

‘Murphy Brown’ (2018) trailer
A reboot mockumentary? What about the old dude and Eldin and her son?!?

Best Line:
“Every day was like an episode of ‘Game Of Thrones’!”

‘Happy Together’ trailer
Ben from ‘Neighbours’ plays a Harry Styles knockoff in this sitcom as he comes to live with 2 ordinary people.

Best Line:
“Too lame to be here.”

Lemon cordial - ho-hum.
Jelly strawberries - nice.
Milk chocolate with roasted nuts - okay.
Gluten free, wheat free, dairy free, yeast free chocolate muffins - nice.

Desmond Harrington on ‘Elementary’ looks like a desiccated Christian Bale.

I did like the song Manchild by Neneh Cherry.

What is edible pearl lustre?

‘Spider-Man 2’ sounds naff.

Hat crashing and rope bags are things? My grandmother had a rope bag!

Ketchup ice-cream is a thing?

What are frozen strawberry sparkler cocktails?

Who saw ‘Human Target’ (2010-2011)?

Read up on the next big ‘Arrow’ crossover.

I won’t read ‘Missing Fay’ or ‘The Missing Girl’.

Read up on ‘Supernatural’ and Dean, TPTB finally pick up on a plot point from season 5.

Who saw ‘American Psycho’ (2000) or ‘Righteous Kill’ (2008) or ‘Sudden Death’ (1995) or ‘Bend It Like Beckham’ (2002) or ‘101 Dalmatians’ (1996) or ‘Touching The Void’ or ‘Witness To The Mob’ (1998) or ‘Terms Of Endearment’ (1983) or ‘Arlington Road’ (1999) or ‘The Grudge 2’ (2006) or ‘The Big Blue’ or ‘The Portrait Of A Lady’ (1996) or ‘Holy Smoke’ (1999) or ‘An Angel At My Table’ (1990) or 'Lies Of The Twins' (1991) or 'Perfect Witness' (1989)?

‘Peter Pan’ (2003) was terrible as was ‘From Hell’ (2001) and ‘Van Helsing’ (2004) and ‘Dr No’ (1962) and ‘The Grudge’ (2004)

‘Sky News’ Quote:
“Falling in love with this woman.”

‘The Royal Wives Of Windsor’ Quotes:
“The marriage of outcasts.”

“Upmarket ‘Coronation Street’.”

“Weaponised charity.”

“Irritate a man.”

“That’s what you’re for.”

“God, I hate this family.”

‘Jezebel’ Quote:
“Normative variability.”

‘Daily Mail’ Quotes:
“Everyone in that world was unfriendly and hated me.”

“How other people have happiness and normality and I don’t.”

“His very presence threw me into a rage.”

‘The Art Of Fashion’ Quotes:
“A society ruled by wealth.”

“Seemingly worldly aesthete.”

“Air of melancholy.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Had to cook lobster, never having seen a lobster before.”

“Sad photocopied princes marrying inbred Spanish girls.”

“Cheapo enclosure.”

“Bussed-in poor people.”

“Sabotaging scarecrow competitions and arguing over who gets to use the top shelf of the oven-”

“Finds scant sympathy.”

“Continues to do him down as the bog-man poet who is best forgotten.”

“Escape narratives.”

“Collective moments of national identification.”

“Society’s consensus.”

“Ironic gilets.”

“Uselessly handsome.”

“The belief that the world would gratefully accept the gifts bestowed by the Valley elites and then harmoniously transition to a techno-utopia of their making.”

“Known to post a lot of pictures of herself looking impossibly attractive on Instagram.”

“There was the feeling her reputation couldn’t really get any worse.”

“Usual unforthcoming self.”

“Banker’s Date heels.”

“Showy on-site storage.”

“The coverage was all about my partying, shopping and ex-husband.”

‘The Irish Daily Mail On Sunday’ Quotes:
“Pretending to find teenagers useful.”

“Lives really can turn on a single moment.”

“Made their presence known.”

‘The Sunday Business Post’ Quotes:
“A magnet to young, single, conservative Christian women looking for a husband.”

“Prove his supposed relevance.”

“Various tubercular 19th-century muses.”

‘Quietus’ Quote:
“They hadn’t survived their charity.”

‘The Guardian’ Quotes:
“Resenting the responsibilities that came with the privilege he’s always enjoyed.”

“Refuse help.”

“Participating in family life.”

“Techlash.”

“Salivation enhancer.”

“Potentiator.”

‘Elementary’ Quote:
“Strangely specific.”

‘The Martian’ Quote:
“You said yes to this?”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“How did you not know?”

“10 year old smoking dope.”

“Hanging around with bad folks at 10?”

“Stupid ass wifi.”

“Not be ignorant!”

“Deadbeat husband!”

“Falsely informed me.”

“Step up on my porch.”

“Tried to fight me.”

~
On ‘Neighbours’: The opening credits have been redone again. The cat is not in them anymore. Nothing on this show could ever match the ‘Home & Away’ plotline of Robbo the amnesiac gang hitman with a face like a robber’s dog being revealed as an undercover Federal cop. There is no powerful sense of inevitability here. This show is all puerility as Elly’s sister Bea shows up. This show is not emotionally devastating.

~
Cleared out a tape from 1999. It began with a ‘Vengeance Unlimited’ ep ‘Judgement’, which tells of the tale of a corrupt judge and a hitman (Cotter Smith).Mr Chapel is shot. This is not daring or innovative or sincere reflection.

Best Lines:
“How did it go?”
“Not good.”

Then came the ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer’ 2 parter ‘Graduation 1&2’ that sees the gang graduate, the mayor attack and the show was never as good or as successful since. There is a lot of fluff and padding in this ep. Wesley and his deluded self belief who did catastrophic damage to Faith is allowed to hang out with the gang. Buffy sneers about Faith and does her a grave injustice. Willow and Oz get it on. Angel broods. Everyone overlooks how Buffy planned to murder Faith.

Xander has unending rage and a deeply held conviction that he is a moral force. He’s just a hostile force who wants women to have sex with him. The tracking is really off. Faith’s left comatose. The Mayor prances around making verbal threats. There is no long term reasoning. The entire gradating class throw off their gowns to reveal weapons and fight the now CGI demon mayor.  The weapons reveal probably wouldn’t fly today. Cue a massive fight scene. Xander directs attacks. FFS.

Snyder is eaten. Why did he go along with the Mayor’s plan? What did he think would happen? Harmony gets bitten, Jonathan is brave, there is incoherent dialogue, Cordelia stakes a vampire and Wesley gets flattened. Buffy and Angel break up. The school is blown up, that really wouldn’t fly these days. The comics don’t act like 19 years have passed since that day. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“Know what I mean?”
“Seldom if ever.”

“Flame units!”

“The Mayor’s going to kill us all at graduation.”
“Oh. Are you going to go to 5th period?”

“I saw that gesture. You see me after graduation.”

Finally there was a ‘Vengeance Unlimited’ ep ‘Clique’ in which 3 college friends kill a nerd and bury his body. 10 years later the body is found. Chapel figures out who the killers are and is not inclined towards mercy. None of the 3 killers do heartbreaking reflection on their act. Mr Chapel pretends to be a mental patient who witnessed their crime years ago. That wouldn’t fly nowadays. The killers have no underlying menace as they hang out with Mr Chapel to preserve their contented domesticity.

Nobody has moral constraints. This is not one of the more cheerfully shocking eps of this short-lived show. There are no moral implications. Nobody has unspeakable sorrow over a man’s death. The friends plan to kill Mr Chapel leading to an explosive confrontation. The killers pay for their dastardly enterprise. Mr Chapel’s sidekick is chillingly compliant with him. This was mediocre with bad acting and done with gleefully poor taste.
Tags: arrow, buffy the vampire slayer, clique, elementary, game of thrones, supernatural, tape tales, the fix, thoughts, trailers
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