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7 TV Reviews

Timeless 2x05

The Kennedy Curse
Flynn saves JFK from being shot, in 1934 by Rittenhouse. Lucy is sick due to an unseen mission. Wyatt doesn’t stay with her. Wyatt’s annoying wife bothers Lucy. As for Lucy, she’s finally shut up about her sister. Rufus and Wyatt leave Flynn in 1934 and bring JFK to the present. Why was JFK the most beloved president of the 20th century?

JFK does a bad and annoying accent. How do they power the time machine in their not so secret lair? Lucy says JFK is responsible for the civil rights act, no he’s not. That was LBJ. People help JFK who seems off his meds. Wyatt’s annoying wife annoys. JFK is taken to a hospital, who pays for that? The annoying new baddie and Emma and Lucy’s awful mother plot.

The annoying woman is carried off. Flynn is not in this ep much. What did he do while stuck in 1934? This was not good. Lucy’s mother menaces the annoying woman. Wyatt’s annoying wife annoys. There are stupid plot contrivances and Lucy has to talk her into staying with him. Wyatt loves his wife; she doesn’t love him as much. JFK convinces a random that he is the JFK. Lucy lies and tells JFK he was one of the greatest presidents - no he wasn’t!

Best Lines:
“Our secret bunker’s getting kind of crowded.”

“Someone’s mom is here!”

“Blood infections.”

“Runs counter to our goals.”

The Americans 5x08

Oleg comes under suspicion by the KGB. Philip and Elizabeth babble. Gabriel is gone and they have their old handler back. Stan and co bother their mole. She wants to go to the dentist. Philip is dumped by the woman he was honey-dicking. He is stunned. This bored. Philip tries to get his honey-dicking back on. Philip and Elizabeth plan to bully a teenager with the help of their fake son. People talk and talk and talk some more.

Best Lines:
“I’ll gain weight and get fired.”

“Slow kung fu.”

“Shooting people at home.”

Doubt 1x08

Top Dog/Underdog
Sadie must testify at her mother‘s parole hearing. Sadie flaunts her relationship with Billy. Nick whines about the DA who put him away, he was a criminal. FFS. There is comedy and a Lindsey Lohan homage. An undocumented man faces a drug charge. Sadie’s mother is awful. The Midwest girl insults her fiancé and dumps him. Everyone fawns over Sadie’s mother. Nick berates the DA - shut up, he doesn’t care about the woman who lost her house due to him. Sadie’s mother rants at her parole hearing. Sadie’s mother didn’t parent - she’s been in jail for 34 years! Parole is denied. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“Towel graveyard.”

“It smells like hope and opportunity.”
“Also urine.”

“Some level of scepticism on the viability of a not my pants defence.”

Century City 1x06

Without A Tracer
A girl with a Child Safe tracer implant is abducted. A man is accused of violating his pre-nup by talking to other women. Those are the cases of the week. The parents of the girl sue Child Safe for getting an error message. The parents are more concerned with getting money and suing with righteous fury than their child’s chip being cut out. The creepy paranoia and voyeurism and the implant being in an unknown place in the child’s body is creepy.

Jeff Perry, Danica McKella and John Vickery guest star. The GM lawyer repeats the theme park abduction/dyed hair urban legend. Meanwhile a man is berated by his fiancée. This ep is an unbelievably bleak depiction of people and the future. The sexist pervs. There are differing motivations and drives. It turns out the girl faked her abduction to get her chip cut out. She wants privacy and overacts wildly. There are no narrative through-lines.

The man says his ex turned on his mate finder and has her dragged to court, it turns out he turned it on himself. What a prince. Nobody apologises for harassing his ex and dragging her to court. People go on about their PDAs. Nestor (whose character name is still unclear) says he was a teen hacker. Sense is not judiciously maintained. The sexist whines about getting no sex.

The show can’t deal with the law and concomitant cultural changes. The girl has an acute stress response to being watched. She’s blameworthy by her parents and their defence lawyer (Perry) for being female. Nobody has moral status. The girl’s doctor/patient confidentiality is breached. She wants to seek joy. The parents are morally obligated, they say, to watch their child. The girl wistfully wants freedom. The parent’s protective mechanism is to guard her from sex and drugs and self harm, which is regressive and avoidant. There was dubious questionable parental intent.

The girl does not like the life she leads, she did not choose it. Her mother says she has a moral obligation to have a psychosexual obsession with her child. The fiancée’s man is a jerk. There is sexism and nobody is respectfully obliged to treat women with respect. The girl goes missing and people panic because she went to the beach. People dismiss the girl as a very difficult child. The firm shame the fiancée into marrying the gaslighting, ex harassing, cheating, lying, emotionally abusive jerk. Seriously WTF? They accept his story that he acts the way he does because he loves her. This was subpar, no wonder it was axed.

Best Lines:
“She’s with some maniac for 2 hours.”

“Easy to understand map.”

“Lying is also prohibited by the agreement.”

“Esoteric cheese.”

“A judge could give her everything you have.”

“Participated in her own abduction.”

“He always watches me.”

“So mumble.”

“Guys going through my garbage.”

“I admit nothing.”

“Right of access.”

“Can’t remember the last good day I had.”

“What are Erin’s problems?”

“Single single.”

“Protect them.”
“From what?”

Gotham 4x04

The Demon’s Head
A smart kid named Alex is drawn into Bruce’s orbit. This has no mythological grandeur. Riddler gurns and overacts. There are moral wrongs and vehemently awful people. This ep was faulty and deficient as nobody has wisdom and empathy. Alexander Siddig tries for dignity as Ra’s Al Ghul. Nathan Darrow has a thankless cameo as Mr Freeze.

Gordon has self-righteous anger. Bruce lies and makes no carefully considered decisions. There are irrational tirades. A dog boy gurns. Sofia (Crystal Reed of ‘Teen Wolf’) prances and has informed intent. This was unglamorous and everybody has a refusal to consider compromise. There are no curious observers of dog boy dogging around the city. Seriously a dog boy? Who is defeated by throwing a bone through a window that he chases after? Are the writers having a laugh?

Ra’s Al Ghul dresses like a librarian. Alex bigs up Bruce. Alfred lies and yells and there are moral outs. Bruce is a terrible person and gets Alex killed. Cue more terrible acting. Why does Gordon keep on giving Bruce preferential treatment? Riddler shouts. Gordon and porno lips Sofia get it on. This was terrible.

Best Lines:
“Walked away from his throne.”

“You’re lying. Again.”

“Knocking Victor! We discussed this!”

“Not you! The other Victor!”

“Live alone in a mansion, don’t go to school.”

“I would plant roses, they cover up the smell.”

“My other Victor.”

Flight 5S13 1x02

Where Is Simon
There are dull opening credits and two people stare. Mart is a stupid annoying child and Liv learns Simon gave his lovechild the same toy car. Mart needs to shut up. There are flashbacks to Iran and people babble about DNA. 2 boys hair is cut to get DNA, but to get DNA from hair - you need the root!

Simon hangs out with his mistress and her brat. One of her children is still in Iran with her controlling husband. Identical beardy men gurn. Liv broods. An old dude rides a scooter. Simon’s mistress does not know she is the mistress apparently.  Everybody is weirdly unemotional. Some dude wears a cravat. The mistress is travelling on someone’s stolen identity. There are lies.

Simon has no regrets for his lies and affair. Liv’s in laws treat her badly and plan to steal her son. Some useless whining woman throws away her pills. Simon is a sleaze. The criminal is a criminal. Simon finds out about the plane crash, he’s not very smart is he? Simon is grabbed and bundled in a car. This was dull and I’m done. Simon's mistress is married to a bad man, he helped her run away and is now in trouble. So?

Best Line:
“Two more sleeps.”

12 Monkeys 3x04-3x06

There are flashbacks to young Ramse and Cole. Jennifer is crazy and Cole fails to notice Ramse’s obvious anger. Jones is rude and thankless. Cassie has a Cole obsession. She has a mandatory obligation to annoy. Olivia babbles. Ramse has unsettled pain. What gives Cole moral authority? Ramse is intemperate. There are inescapable consequnces of Cole’s selfishness and his grave sins. Everyone has to precisely conform to Cole’s will. Ramse lies. There are fighting and shouldn’t Cassie still be feeling side-effects from giving birth?

Cassie lies and somehow no one notices she had a baby. Shouldn’t she still be bleeding? Meanwhile after their escape Cassie and Deacon find Project Splinter is gone. Ramse can drive? Cole is a jerk and is shamed and scandalised. Ramse rants about re-enacting 'Terminator’.‘ Cole won’t listen and tantrums and will let 7 billion die so Cassie can live. His contented memories of the bint are more important than Ramse and so he kills Ramse and berates him for not trusting him,

Cole chose that selfish bitch over his BFF. Cole’s cruel ideology is his imperative. Cole shoves Jennifer aside and menaces Olivia. Where were her guards when he did that? Cassie and Cole fawn over each other. I want to vomit. I did not like this ep at all.

Best Lines:
“How is this not foretold?”

“Please stop talking like a super villain.”

“This can’t be how it ends.”

“There is nothing down there that you want to see.”

“That wasn’t there before.”

“You don’t get to say that to me!”

“You always let me down.”

Did Cassie ever thank Deacon for saving her? Did Cole ever tell Ramse he was sorry about his son? Cassie doesn’t care about Ramse. Who will destroy Splinter? Cassie and Cole know the Witness is their son and lie about it. Can nobody tell Cassie had a baby? What about her milk? Cole is selfish and Cassie lies and thinks she’s tough. Cassie is self-obsessed.

Zelijo Ivanek guest stars. There are no wacky shenanigans as Olivia rants. They are doing comedy as Ramse lies rotting in a wood. Jennifer plans a heist in 1989 and hideous 80s fashion is worn. Cassie and Cole plan to destroy a map that could help find the Witness as they’re selfish. Cher blares on the soundtrack. This was stagnant.

There is no foresight principle by Cassie and Cole who have parasitic accessorial liability and no responsibility or accountability. Cole and Cassie are raving lunatics adversarial to sense. They are incapable of anticipating consequences. The heist goes awry. It doesn’t behove Cassie and Cole to find their appalling situation brutally crushing. Olivia wears 80s earrings and talks down a car phone.

Deacon mocks Cole killing Ramse. No one misses Ramse. Cole yelled at Ramse for wanting to save his son and now he’s doing the same thing. This ep is utterly empty. There is yelling. Cassie impels herself into situations. There is no mysterious purpose. Cole points out the cultural abyss between him and Cassie. Cole is vile.

Hannah bores. Jones is not self-actualised and is value neutral. There is no philosophical enlightenment. People talk and talk. Jones is a loon. Everything is unanticipated. There are no moral reasons for anything. Cole has finally and irreversibly destroyed all interest in this show. Cole has dangerous logic and Jones’ plans are fraught with difficulty and have caused widespread havoc. Jennifer’s dad mumbles down huge 80s phones. Jennifer learns who parented the Witness and lies about it.

Best Lines:
“Mommy not so dearest.”

“Monkey mansion.”

“Remarkably cogent plan.”

“Can’t you be normal for once?”

“Brown bottle flu.”

Cassie and Cole are in 1953. Where does Jones get her cigarettes in the ruin of 2046? Jennifer has her tortoise(s). Jennifer freaks out. Cole doesn’t care about anyone else. He’s vicious and aggressive. He and Cassie have a toxic culture of concealment. There is a mining accident. Nobody seems to wonder anymore where and when the plague came from.

Christopher Lloyd of ‘Suburban Commando’ and ‘Back To The Future’ guest stars as an acolyte of the Witness who is now a horrible child. This ep is more conclusive proof that this show is past the point of futility. Is Olivia still locked up? Yes. The Army assembles. People spew babble that isn’t factually sustained. The Witness is a Primary. Cassie wears a very noticeable veil. There is an unexpected act at the revivalist tent meeting by the horrible kid Witness. Where does Jennifer get all her charcoal and paper in the ruined 2046? Deacon and Olivia chat. Cole and Cassie closed Ramse out of their relationship and seem fine with the consequences.

Best Lines:
“Asked enough of you.”

“Giggle stick.”

“Mask of loss.”

“I have purpose!”
“Are you certain?”

“We are what we were made to be.”
Tags: 12 monkeys, century city, gotham, review, the americans, timeless
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