epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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5 TV Reviews

SEAL Team 1x05

The US embassy in Sudan is in peril. Jason is rude to an ambassador. Spenser annoys. Rude college kids taunt Spenser and co and call them ‘American Sniper’. A liberal couple refuse to be evacuated. The Ambassador ditches people as the embassy is overrun. There is jingoism and a training accident. This was dull.

Best Lines:
“I’m not ready to pull down the flag just yet.”
“You wait long enough they’ll come here and pull it down for you.”

“Did we rig it? The election?”
“We, ugh, I honestly don’t know. The people outside seem to think so.”

“Regressive cartoon masculinity.”

“You want them to come with us, they’re coming.”

“Immediately destroy all classified documents.”

True Horror (2018) 1x01

Hellfire Farm
Channel 4 promised a docu-drama about a terrifying ordeal involving strange apparitions, objects moving around a farmhouse inexplicably, an artist’s work growing darker and darker, insanely large electricity bills and an unhinged pet pig. They lied. A family move to a remote house in Wales’ Brecon Beacons at some unclear time. They gambol with lambs but then there are large electric bills and dead animals.

One feels an immediate suspicion that this is all made up. The father’s overriding anxiety is undercut by bad acting. This stretches the limits of credulity. The possibility of mental illness or corporate incompetence isn’t mentioned. This was not scintillating and any hint of what happened afterward is not addressed other than a throwaway comment about a divorce.

Best Lines:
“Burn these books.”

“Was not welcome.”

“No reason that he could explain.”

“Didn’t see as art.”

Arrow 6x17

Brothers In Arms
Oliver grows increasingly divisive. He’s a hateful, morally wrong goob. Dinah has aggressive fervour. Oliver and Diggle lurk as Felicity wears an overly tight top. There is no social psychology. Oliver is smug and Quentin is smug too. Morality and humanity doesn’t matter. Oliver still won’t apologise to Dinah and co, he brings shame on himself with the negative connotations he brings to everything. He deserves a bad rep. Diaz owns everyone.

Oliver has steely determination but so does Diaz. Oliver has no concept of humble service. Curtis mumbles. Dinah does dramatic gun cocking and shows off her puffed up porno lips. Why does Diggle even want to be the Arrow? Is it because Spartan is a stupid name and the helmet is stupid looking? The stakes seem too low. Oliver faces non co-operation and is incapable of reviving morale.

Oliver’s determined to ruin everything. He reneged on a commitment to Diggle. He tries to be badass. He fires the DA and the police chief in smug fashion. There is no moral clarity. Black Siren annoys. Quentin gives Black Siren, Laurel’s old law books to make her good. TPTB love getting in digs at Laurel don’t they? Lyla bores. For Oliver, empathy is a weakness.

This is moodily lit. Some Jared Leto wannabe is menaced. Spartan and his stupid helmet are ordered around by Oliver. Will Felicity just shut up and piss off? Oliver is smug and deserves all the backlash he gets. Black Siren shows off her man-jaw. Oliver has self-obsession and is a murderous thug. Oliver alienates everyone and won’t listen or apologise. Oliver YELLS and Diggle points out all the people Oliver has gotten killed.

Oliver brings up Diggle’s brother. Cue a fist fight. This was okay. I wish Felicity would go away; she is just Oliver’s warm place to put it. Oliver is tiresome. Curtis badmouths his ex. Curtis’ boyfriend sees his vigilante outfit. Diggle quits cos Oliver is awful. Curtis is an idiot. Dinah is fired along with Curtis’ new man candy who is called Nick. Oliver is to be impeached for his crap, Diaz and Black Siren make out and where is Oliver’s stepfather?

Best Lines:
“I know you’re the Green Arrow.”

“I’m not giving up the hood.”

“All that Russian vengeance.”

“I don’t him to get murdered.”

“The idea of you protecting anyone is a joke.”


“The city is always at stake!”

Shadowhunters 2x10-2x11

By The Light Of The Dawn
The malevolent psychopathic Valentine does more bad things and Facetimes Clary. Institutes are powered by angelic power cores apparently. Dot lurks. Izzy fawns over Raphael. Valentine is all infinite depravity and evil and destruction personified allegedly. He’s not ominous, ghastly or chilling. Raphael has deadly intent. Izzy has a nice nap as Alec is in peril.

There are fights and erratic motivations. Valentine causes endless confrontations. Simon is the source of all society’s ills and oozes bogus sentimentality. Valentine is a sly, soulless mess of psychological contradictions. Jace has monumental sadness. Maia is bellicose and takes up screentime. This is a landslide of mediocrity. Raphael needs a good kicking.

Jace learns some truths. Maia is an ass. Who took the soul sword? Alec cares more about Bane than Jace. Simon and Clary make out in front of Jace.

Best Line:
“Point and stab.”

Mea Maxima Culpa
Nobody wonders where Valentine’s real son is now Jace knows he isn’t Valentine’s son. Luke faces condescension and vitriol. Jace angels up. The demon hating Valentine summons a demon to body swap him with Bane. Jace and Clary have pure angel blood. Jace finally reveals to Clary he isn’t her brother. Again nobody wonders where the real son of Valentine is.

Jace and Alec do some homoerotic training. Simon wanders in the sun. Izzy goes cold turkey off her magic drugs. Mimi Kuzyk shows up. Sebastian (Will Tudor of ‘Humans’) shows up. As every book reader knows, he is Valentine’s real son. Simon annoys. Clary is stupid. Maia annoys. Simon is thick as mince. A Greater Demon minces around. There is screaming. The Clave git is gone. There is macho posturing, moral laziness, vile villainy and malign manipulations. The Clave tortured Valentine and he still escaped after being captured.

Best Lines:
“Nothing he says matters to me.”

“Stupid warlock.”

“No-one’s ever seen the mortal mirror.”

“The Clave has no idea about a multitude of things”

The Assassination Of Gianni Versace 2x08

We see how Gianni grew up with an understanding dressmaker mother and how Andrew grew up as the favourite child with an overbearing narcissistic father who ignored his 3 other children. In this ep we never once see Andrew speak to or interact with his siblings.

The father bullies his wife and moved house just so Andrew could get into a fancy school. No wonder Andrew’ mother later lost her mind. It is strongly implied Andrew was molested by his dad. His stock broker father was not good at his job. In fact, he was a thief and an inept one.

Andrew felt he was meant to have success. His dad was life defining for him and helped shape his societal perceptions. Andrew had an existential belief in his false aims. Andrew was pimping himself out to married older men while still in high school. His father is busted and does a runner with his go bag and stolen money.

He left his wife and Andrew with nothing. His older children had seemingly long moved out by then. Not that Andrew cares about them or even acknowledges that he has siblings. Andrew flies to Manila to find his dad. How he affords that flight or the flight back isn’t explained. Andrew and his dad have a fight that involves 2 sweating men in a slum shouting and spitting and slapping and waving a knife. Andrew has to get a job and lies. He was messed up. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“How many misunderstandings have there been over the years?”

“This house? He sold it weeks ago. He knew. He knew they were coming.”

“I judge you!”
Tags: american crime story, arrow, humans, mortal instruments, review, seal team

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