Heddy Lamar shows up. Rittenhouse steals ‘Citizen Kane’. Wyatt never saw it. Mason is disrespected. People crash a Hearst party. Rufus mangles Will Smith. Rittenhouse plan to make ‘Jurassic Park’ in the 40s? Wyatt’s wife is not dead anymore just after he and Lucy got it on. Mason is bad-mouthed constantly. There is more death. Flynn does a time travel assisted prison break. No, just no.
“We can’t be here to answer for this.”
“There’s no medicine to fix this.”
“Hollywood has no culture.”
“Bends history in their favour.”
“Hamilton? As a musical?”
“I don’t want a damn Netflix subscription.”
“Steal clothes wherever we go like Winona Ryder pre ‘Stranger Things’.”
“Do you have any ability to do this on your own?”
“I’m familiar with acoustic coupling.”
“I hate it when a department store clerk thinks I’m there to shoplift and he’s actually right.”
To Know Her
Jerks have avuncular facades. The resident law firm jerk jokes about the attack. Klea Scott, Don Most, Jeremy Davidson and Roma Maffia guest star. There is no emotional register in this terrible ep. A child star hires the laughing jerk to represent him. This ep is unspeakably hellish and brain deadening. The child star wants to be legally emancipated and take a drug to delay puberty so he’ll never grow up. Puberty will kill his career.
The judge talks about liking the sex attacker. There is no moral authority. The child star whines about ex-child star pain. The sex attacker somehow recorded the attack. People blather about PDAS and chips ignoring that if you can record memories and other people’s experiences, this could be a world changing invention. This is yet another ep in which Nestor does nothing.
The jerk lectures the child star’s parents on how to parent. The sex attacker does a dubious insinuating spin on his actions. Men whine about not getting sex from women. Nobody has empathy. There is no clamour of complaint about the rampant sexism and entitlement on display. There is no moral authority. The woman’s violation is played to the jury as porno music plays. Lawyers yell in court about real rape and real victims.
Lucas does a long porno style talk about sex and appeals to the jury to think about their wives and daughters. Who wrote this crap? Did nobody notice how awful and sexist it was? The jerk hangs out with the child star. The sex attack victim wins her civil court case but it is all about Lucas’ man pain. TPTB lack the capability and will to carry this show’s ambitious central conceit off.
“Watching TV for money.”
“I’m not paying you to look stupid.”
“Be an overnight nobody out there robbing convenience stories for attention.”
“People stopped liking me.”
“In a gang neighbourhood!”
“He’s not evil, he’s pathetic.”
How Art Thou Fallen
Jace aggressively tries to shut out the world. Izzy whines and divisions are stirred. No cohesive unit against Valentine is formed. People have been driven to enmity. Bane mentions Jem from the ‘Infernal Devices’ books. Izzy isn’t winsome. This ep is not hauntingly sad. People are in a murky ethical realm. Luke is dour. There are seemingly unbridgeable divides. Season 2 has been an exercise in frustration. Valentine has an Angel captive. Luke is thick. There is a fight and this was okay.
“Don’t you dare call me that!”
Love Is A Devil
Izzy gets magic drugs in an alley whilst dressed like a hooker. Max rejects Jace and Jace is rejected by his once-devoted foster mother. There is no all important reconciliation. There is conflict as Jace faces pejoratives and people have a negative opinion of him. A vampire talks quietly. People hallucinate and this causes yelling and disbelieving outrage and raging. None of which actually happen. This was mmmm.
“The Real Housewives Of Idris.”
“Nobody’s going to miss you.”
“That’s not an option you want to explore.”
Bound By Blood
Cod-mysticism is babbled. Simon is useless. Valentine hangs out at a fairground. Simon is an unproductive tool. Dot bores. Maia annoys. Alec is sick of the Clave git and his lack of moral standards. The vampire Raphael and Izzy hang out. He has ‘Jersey Shore’ hair. Simon has no gratitude and Valentine’s unbridled ambition goes on.
Izzy groans as Raphael bites her and all I can think about is her hair going in the food. Jace and the creepy Valentine talk. Alec punches Raphael right in the face, a lot. Clary and Valentine babble about humanity, they’re not human. The Clave jerk talks too much and throws his weight around. This was okay apart from the too-cute dialogue and intrusive indie pop.
“That’s not the plot of that book at all.”
“Henry screws up again. What else is new?”
“We were all nobodies.”
“Capitalist class structure.”
“My whole country came out of those ideas.”
The Fear Reaper
Barbara is alive, oh hell no. Tabitha and Selina are asked to work for her. Barbara doesn’t wear a bra or a blouse. Tabitha misses Butch more than Theo. Bruce is not respectful or grateful to Alfred. Scarecrow causes panic reactions in people. Gordon yells abuse at his co-workers. Ivy is ill-treated. Gordon walks off the fear gas. Complacent Bruce is ungrateful, rude, thankless and a spoilt brat.
Fox lurks and ‘Batman Begins’ is ripped off. Fox gives Bruce what is essentially the Batsuit. Ivy steps up and chugs potions. Gordon gets another bad idea. Alfred makes the mask, Bruce poses and does not say thank you.
“Another club? In Gotham? How original.”
“Italians do not forger that crap!”
“Positively gazelle like.”
“A 6 dollar padlock.”
“In with the hookers, where else.”
“Once the attacker disengages, it’s no longer self-defence.”
“Juries don’t love I don’t remember.”
“My husband hasn’t cheated on me in years. Mostly because he’s dead.”
“A toilet with a cord on it.”
“Everyone owes you something.”
“Not that other name.”