epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Tragedy Girls + The Titan + Big Game + Superstar

Tragedy Girls (2017)
Friends who slay together, stay together.
A serial killer named Lowell (Kevin Durand) strikes and is captured by 2 sociopath high school girls named Sadie (Brianna Hildebrand of ’Deadpool’) and McKayla (Alexandra Shipp). They want to kill people and Lowell’s devious machinations can’t match their reckless and unacceptable behaviour. They have jocular bad faith and plan to frame him for their crimes.

This is all to promote their twitter, tumblr and youtube account where they ‘report’ on the crime rocking their small town. They are disturbing, have no gentility and cause a mounting sense of dread. They play at being outwardly honourable but are devoid of moral and ethical judgement and have derailed moral paths.

Jordan (Jack Quaid) has a crush on Sadie. Meanwhile Toby (Josh Hutcherson) is McKayla’s ex and he is a brooding wannabe online brand. The friends defy societal expectations. There is obvious green screen and this film aims to be deliberately controversial and has a conscious determination to provoke.

The 1st half of this film seems reasonably fun with deaths and an extremely oblivious janitor. Then things get more ridiculous. There is a unicorn decoration and the doomed Mayor is played by Rosalind Chao. There is an angry mob, things go awry and there is a ‘Carrie’ homage. A girl has a bunny phone case, the prom has a tasteless theme and the 2nd half of this film goes downhill with bad acting.

The parents of the duo are obvious. Elise Neal plays McKayla’s mom and the principle is played by Loren Lester. This was in the end a disappointment and the ongoing subplot of the town’s missing pets is not nice.

Best Lines:
“We stole it from ‘Breaking Bad’.”

“Waffle me.”


“A stake-raising second death.”

“Old drifter periscope.”

“Texas Chainsaw reject.”

“That is some serious ‘Final Destination’ s--t.”

“Michael Myers knock off!”

The Titan (2018)
Earth is used up and humanity’s only hope is the cold and hazy moon of Saturn named Titan in this unjustly ignored and overlooked Netflix film. Nuclear fallout has left LA uninhabitable and that is only the start of it. The year is 2040 and things have gone to hell. Rick the military hero was found alive in the Syrian Desert after 3 days and so is recruited to take part in a NATO experiment to genetically modify people to colonise Titan.

There is a British villain and nobody wonders if life already exists on Titan. People accept this societal change as the only option due to the dread prospect of the end of humanity. The people being experimented on think they have a profound intellectual connection and an intense mentorship with those doing the experimenting. But they don’t. There are perilous moments and Rick’s wife is a calming influence. Rick changes and next level nefarious types lurk.

There is death and you can’t have a child without a permit and what is the war they discuss? There is bleeding and aggression. What happens to all those on Earth? Do they die as the reborn superman becomes a new race? This was good but how did Rick get to Titan?!? Sam Worthington and Tom Wilkinson star in this good if underrated, underlit and under-budgeted film.

Best Lines:
“We are fighting over the scraps of what remains.”

“Criminal and morally repugnant.”

“The last people to try this were the Nazis.”

“How many of us will die?”

“In 10 years, ½ the planet will be uninhabitable. In 15 years, ½ the world’s population will have starved to death.”

“Fiercely hostile to life as we know it.”

“Able to live on another world.”

“There is nothing left on this planet but misery.”

“He’s now the future.”

Big Game (2014)
A 13 year old is sent out into the Finnish wilderness for a rite of passage despite being bad-mouthed by his kith and kin. Meanwhile Air Force One flies with POTUS Samuel L Jackson. Bad guys mumble. This causes no emotional tension and anxiety. This was not enthralling and is in fact a pointless and unrewarding mess that is not logically sound. It is deathly dreary and preposterous and not even utterly gloriously terrible.

Air Force One is targeted and there is an emergency evacuation procedure which sees the POTUS ejected off the plane in a life pod. Secret Service agents parachute off the plane and a Secret Service agent has tampered with the parachutes and caused the death of his colleagues. So Air Force One and the accompanying jets are taken out. It’s like ‘Air Force One’ only crap!

Victor Garber is the shouty VP. Felicity Huffman is in this. This is all about hunters wanting to hunt the most dangerous game. The bitter Secret Service agent has a bullet splinter close to his heart thanks to taking a bullet for the inept PPTUS. The POTUS finds his dead Secret Service detail spread out on some rocks and grabs a gun.

There is bad child acting, the Secret Service agent has ever-increasing bitterness and blazing hatred, important people have consternation and angry public tirades in this ill-advised, risible, ridiculous mess.

Best Lines:
“In my opinion, you should be running.”

“Angel is down.”

“Evac distress signal.”

“Mechanical failure.”
“On 5 planes simultaneously?”

“Can’t reach passenger jet altitude.”

“Landing trajectory.”

“You over-privileged psychopath.”

“Ewok or whatever you are.”

“My wife can hit harder than that! My mom can hit harder than that!”

Superstar (1999)
Tags: breaking bad, movie review

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