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4 TV Reviews

American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace 2x02

It is 1994: Ricky Martin berates Donatella and Versace may have AIDS. In 1997, Versace is cremated and ends up in a tacky urn. Andrew the crazed killer lies and stalks Versace. The switches between 1997 and 1994 aren’t well done. Versace was not Andrew’s first victim. The FBI is inept. Andrew dances in his pants while nearly murdering someone. There is a fashion show and Andrew gets a boyfriend who is oddly subservient to the crazy liar. The man who was nearly killed by Andrew is married and won’t call the cops. Andrew frequents a pawn shop called Cash At The Beach. A Donatella impersonator bangs at the gates of Versace’s mansion. Somebody recognises Andrew from ‘America’s Most Wanted’. Nobody cares. This was DIRE.

Best Lines:
“My brother has a weakness for beauty. He forgives it anything. But I am not my brother.”

“Predatory escort.”

“Working that beach.”

“I’ve done nothing my whole life.”

Century City (2004) 1x01

I’ve long waited to see this show that starred Nestor Carbonell and Ioan Gruffudd. It is a legal drama set in LA, 2030. This scifi legal drama only lasted 9 eps. Viola Davis, Hector Elizondo and Kristen Lehman co-star. A creepy man wants the return of a confiscated embryo which is a clone of his son. Meanwhile 3 members of a band are sued by another. They look young and he (Anthony Zerbe) is and looks 70 because he wouldn’t take risky anti-aging treatment.

Ioan does a bad US accent and Nestor’s character is an ex-Congressman. The duo would also star in the equally ill-fated ‘Ringer’. The opening credits are very 90s. The law firm has ugly interior decoration. B.D. Wong guest stars and sneers as only he can. Trials are done via holograms.

There is legal babble and one of the law firm is a creepy sexual harasser. I guess in this world, MeToo never happened. The old looking band member is berated by his former boy band friends who risk strokes and death to look young. There is a Mick Jagger joke.
The creepy dude turns out to have lied about the clone and plans to harvest its liver for his sick son and “pinch off” its head. Cloning engenders a type of hysteria and as a result some very misogynistic comments are made about women who have abortions. Finally someone does the math and wonders how creepy man has a 7 year old son when his wife died 10 years ago.

This show is interesting but the rampant sexism and bad handling of reproduction technology is a letdown. Cloning is a cultural menace and the creepy man’s son is a clone of him so technically his son is his brother and he has no legal right to even bring the case.

WTF was the genetic prototype projection and the Reconstruction Act? Lehaman’s character was genetically enhanced to be a lawyer. The creepy man is basically just a plonker. Not a flicker of emotion is raised and there is no quiet dignity. Miserable looking men brood. Questions of parentage of the clone son are raised. The lawyers deal with changing technology and yet there is no behaviour deterrent to sexism.

People ignore the coldness of the creepy man’s craven reasoning. There is no sober sadness and this was good but not viscerally satisfying. There was flat effect acting. Another lawyer (Hector) makes folksy insights about a mop. The sexism is a flailing weakness of this show which is not darkly ingenious. Somethings are over dramatized. The clone son is surly and can’t act and so the bitter dispute is not arresting.

One of the young looking boybanders dies and the boy band sing a terrible song in church at his funeral and people applaud. The scene is laughable and the creepy man, his clone son, the embryo and the grandparents are all exiled from the country. Then the ep just ends. The laughable church song would be out of place in the 80s let alone 2004.

Best Lines:
“Strapped on a mate finder.”

“In case customs services forgets to keep the clone in a freezer.”

“Cannot be owned.”

“Reconstruction Act of 2009.”

“How dare I?”

“She made me care about someone else.”

“Desperate single women.”

“Went cruising for chicks with our client and bulled him for it?”

“He looked like a rhino’s butt.”

“Mail his sperm to his wife.”

“Pretty strong for a girl.”

The Flash 4x11

The Elongated Knight Rises
Barry is a jackass and he’s in jail for killing DeVoe. There is a riot in the jail. This was not profoundly meaningful. Why is the sexist Ralph and his fake redemptive narrative arc getting so much screentime? Why isn’t Snow allowed to be a hero or trained to use her powers? Barry is in his dad’s old cell. Ha! Barry was destined for such an abode. Am I supposed to feel sorry for him and Iris?

TPTB play things for comedy and there is no lesson in morals. Richard Brooks and Bill Goldberg guest star. This was not emotionally believable. Baddies aren’t spellbindingly menacing. Ralph isn’t an endearing screen presence. Is STAR Labs being rebuilt or something?

Iris is boss, isn’t she a journalist? Snow has lost her personality. TPTB continue their so far failed efforts to make this show as good as season 1. Iris wears a red leather skirt. Nobody wonders about the Flash’s inactivity? What is Barry doing for food in jail? Doesn’t he need to eat loads of food due to his metabolism?

Axel Walker aka Trickster II is in the yard. Ralph demands constant attention. I’ve a dark certainty this show will never improve. Iris visits Barry in jail while wearing an unbuttoned blouse that shows off her clavicle. Nobody is quietly desperate. Men control the narrative. Axel has conscienceless avarice. Then his mom (Prank from the 1990’s ‘Flash’ show) busts him out.

Joe’s the only cop in town. Prank was James Jesse’s girlfriend and his Harley Quinn. Her real name is Zoey Clark. Harry shows up. Why does Snow wear such a short skirt to work? The Trickster escaped from jail a year ago. Does anyone know? Axel and Prank have emotive issues. She does loud displays of care. One feels profound alienation from this show, which is not resoundly satisfying. Axel inherited his family’s ghastly dress sense.

Ralph’s a selfish coward. There are no keen and provocative observations in this ep. There is no social relevance. Prank throws off her veneer of innocence. Barry pep talks Ralph in jail, where is the CCTV?!? Cisco mocks Snow’s repressed anger. Barry bothers an inmate (Goldberg).

Barry uses his Flash powers in jail. I’m sure there will be repercussions. Where is the CCTV? Ralph shows off his new costume that looks like a gimp suit. Ralph makes a speech. If Axel knew all along that his daddy was the Trickster, why was it a surprise to him in season 1? Iris is falling out of a top; does no one have a concept of workplace appropriate attire?

This was not fantastical. Iris whines. Barry uses his powers in jail a second time. An irritating woman pops up. What’s with the weird stuff weirdo woman writes? Prank went off her meds and decided to be bad again. What happened to the actual hostages? This was okay. Barry is dependent on Iris for a sense of his own identity.

Best Lines:
“My first super-villain Thunderdome challenge.”

“He and his mommy.”

“Throwing bouncy balls and wearing a bedazzled peacoat.”

“A car! Something eco-friendly.”

“The stretchy man.”

“Has Barry joined a gang yet?”

“I didn’t kill anybody.”
“Yeah sure.”


“Spewed all over his cellmate.”

“What were people wearing back then?”

“Not today satan!”

“Go slap Trickster around.”


“Murdering your way out of problems.”

“Shorty guitar man.”

“Infinite consequence at work in our lives.”

Z Nation 4x12

Mt. Weather
The gang look for the POTUS and end up at Mount Weather. This is not a crossover with ‘The 100’. They encounter an acting POTUS and her two Secret Service agents (David S. Hogan and Justin Torrence). This was okay. There are zombies and death and revelations about Black Rainbow. I wish Lilley would go away. It’s a pretty nasty world. A VHS tape is watched and Black Rainbow is a spiteful retaliation weapon from the 80s. There is a secret floor, implacable opposition and Lilley annoys. The gang cause trouble and the POTUS has been a zombie for 8 years and is led around by his tie. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“Low priority human.”

“I see bodies.”
“Yeah but whose?”

“Eaten by your own Secret Service detail.”

“Presidential jelly beans from the 80s.”

“Reprisal weapon.”

“The cast of ‘Hamilton’.”

“We are almost out of designated survivors.”


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