epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Mom & Dad + Innocent Blood + 3 others

Mom & Dad (2018)
Nicolas Cage, Selma Blair and Lance Henriksen star in this black comedy of parents turning on ther kids. This has a 70s vibe as Brent (Cage) and Kendall (Blair) have a slutty teenage daughter who is the biggest irritant as she leaves her mother in a fraught state. The slut is agonisingly stupid and selfish. Ominous feelings are raised. Brent is fat and puffy from bad fillers. He recalls his youth as a non-speaking female does gratuitous toplessness.

The plot derives from an inherent fear of an existential threat to the American family. The slut is heinous. This has scuzzy realism and is intriguingly dark and bleak. Adults are sinister seeming. Brent smoulders with hysteria. What does the son have in the box? There is unsubtelty. The slut ceaselessly annoys and is bewilderingly dumb. The mother/daughter are eaten up with mutual contempt.

Something (possibly an attack) causes parents to develop visceral hatred for their children. Kendall has a quaint soulful ache and her face hides a thousand disappointments. Brent has a wicked grin. Cue cartoonish melodrama and bracing seriousness and madcap zeal.

This is heavy-handed hokum. Brent postures and the slut is not big on criticism. Their home is a borderline hostile environment. The slut is maddening. Brassy girls and their rotten culture fester. Horrible bastard Brent is dejected looking and isn’t sombre and dignified. Cue a circus of madness. The grim aspect is there as is unhinged intensity. Various ultra-aggressive parents try to kill their aghast kids. Fist based punishment is meted out. What caused such a catastrophic physiological reaction is only hinted at.

Ordinary joes unleash incredible anger. Kendall has no sense of purpose. The slut and her slutty friend are not appropriately grateful and have no cheery rapport. There are theatrics and noise. There is no inevitable happy ending and this is aggressively free of fluff. This is hard and unrelenting. There is an unnecessarily unpleasant post childbirth scene. Things get chillingly grim. This is done with intensity and utter seriousness as Brent and Kendall turn on their slut daughter and bratty son.

The cleaning lady Sun-Yi (Sharon Gee) is amenable even with blood on the floor. Brent rants and is increasingly unmanageable. There is no moral redemption. Brent has self-inflicted drama and creates excessive tensions and screams vitriolic comments and has absolute hatred for his family and spits defiance in high operatic notes salted with self pity. The kids learn they left reconciliation too late. There is no societal appreciation for parents cue social distance and no self compassion.

This was startlingly evocative as the duo get acrimonious. They brought their kids into the world and now they’ll take them out. There’s got to be a but; this has no real ending as parents get huge popular enthusiasm for murder. This was excellent and exemplary. How big is their house? It’s not exactly a mcmansion but the duo chase and chase their kids around their maze like house. The murderous feelings do wonders for their anger issues.

Then Brent’s parents show up and try to kill him. Lance Henriksen is a one scene wonder. Brent makes incoherent noises and there is violence and more violence. I loved this.

Best Lines:
“Since when does anyone under 30 go to the movies?”

“Saws all!”

“You kids need to go to church.”

“Shoving your business in his face.”

“You little whore.”

“Such a penis.”

“World War Z just broke out at our school. I’m pretty sure nobody’s gonna care that we left early.”

“I kind of have to worry about it.”

“The whole house is a family room.”

“It saws all.”

“Kendall’s not even a real name!”

“You really went all in on the mid-life crisis thing didn’t you?”

Innocent Blood (1992)
There are multiple missteps in this vampire movie in which the word vampire is never uttered once. People make problems for themselves in this subjection of reality to fantasy in which Anne Parillaud, Robert Loggia, Anthony LaPaglia, Chazz Palminteri, Kim Coates, Angela Bassett, Frank Oz, Don Rickles, Sam Raimi, Dario Argento and Linnea Quigley star.

There is a French vampire who gets naked a lot, a dumb cop, gangsters, unconvincing VFX, a faltering plot, picture credits, 90s clothes and a prolonged rant about a toast-r-oven. This should not be honoured or celebrated. Being shot dead is apparently an occupational hazard for children of the night. This is not indescribly complex.

There is no emotional payoff and a dull violent climactic encounter. There are 90s suede high heels, sexism and various actors looking embarrassed. This was uneventful and not a worthy undertaking. The cop has a dog’s anus mouth. There are catastrophic consequences to the vampire’s objective morality.

Mob guys become vampires, blood flies, there is a kinky sex scene and a strip club full of frizzy haired strippers. Multiple mob vampires plot and get killed off fairly easily. The mob boss gets a very long speech whilst on fire in the middle of a city street and nobody notices.

This was done with utmost seriousness. Nobody feels a moral imperative. This has utter fixed seriousness as bad dialogue is screeched. This was soapy farce with obvious VFX contacts. This tries for intensely serious but fails. Nobody does self-appraisal in this ineptitude. Nobody behaves ethically. This dead inert mess is the least appealing vampire film since ‘Forsaken’.

Best Lines:
“Crack this town like a lobster.”

“Super bitch.”

“Feed marks.”

“Eat your face like a chicken.”

“Like sheep with shoes!”

“Don’t murder a cop on my lawn!”

“Should be blood from wall to wall.”

Apocalypse Now (1979)
Feverish and overdone.

Evolution (2001)

Copycat (1995)
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