epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

Torchwood Children of Earth Days Two to Five Reviewed

Day Two

Jack is a bag of bits but still comes back to life. No matter what she does, Johnson always looks like she’s sucking on a lemon. Lois continues to show up. Poor Jack goes through a lot in this ep but then gets to walk around bare ass naked. A place is prepared for the 456. What are they? What sort of creature breathes the atmosphere they do? This was good.

Best Lines:
Any sign of their approach?”

“No, but then there wasn’t last time.”

Day Three

Rhys has a hissy fit, Alice is an idiot. Lois whines, Johnson is foul and it is revealed that Jack was involved in the events of the 456’s first visit. Far too much time of ‘Children of Earth’ is spent on unpleasant people and arrogant politicians. The government behaves abominably; it seems they learnt nothing from Saxon. The 456’s ambassador demands children.

This was a bit dull; the highlight of this ep was the fake fight between Rhys and Ianto so that Gwen could steal credit cards unnoticed.

Best Line: “It’s them, they’re back.”

Day Four

Flashbacks to 1965 shows that Jack handed 11 children over to the 456 in exchange for a cure to a flu that could have killed millions. The 12th child, Clem, escaped and he’s not happy to see Jack again. Clem acts like a nutjob. The scary voiced 456 ambassador shows off one of the 1965 children and it’s not a pleasant sight. The 456 want every country on Earth hand over 10% of their children or else. The government decides to get rid of the hoodie problem by giving them to the 456. Lois is inexplicably allowed to sit in on top secret meetings.

Johnson and her posse continue to act stupidly and thuggishly. The irritating Frobisher continues to get too much screen time. The 456 unleash a virus and kill a building full of people to show their power. One of the dead is Ianto. Clem also dies.

This was okay but the Ianto death scene was way too mawkish.

Best Lines:
“You are in every nightmare I’ve ever had.”

“If we refuse?”
“We will wipe out your entire species.”

“The remnant will be disconnected.”

“We go to war against our own people for their own good.”

Day Five

The army are blackmailed into becoming childsnatchers. It turns out that all this is because the 456 use children to get high. Yes this is all about the interstellar drug trade. Frobisher continues to be a disgusting human being. Why are the viewers asked to feel sorry for Frobisher? After everything he did and continued to do right to his bitter end? Why are we supposed to care and despite what Bridget said? It was Frobisher’s fault. Bridget was scum as well.

Gwen is treated by everyone as though she’s special. Lois won’t shut up. PC Andy steps up and may be dead as a result. The children are rounded up, mobs form. Jack figures out how to stop the 456 but it will kill his grandson. He does it anyway. Steve dies, Alice weeps, Jack cries. Jack does a runner into space. Gwen cries. It looks like Torchwood is finished.

This was okay. But why did all the scummy characters not pay for their sins? Bridget? Johnson? The PM? The rest of the government and those who ordered the childsnatching? Is this the end for Torchwood? Will there be a season 4?

Best Line: “He’ll be fine, the nice kids are safe.”
Tags: torchwood

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