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Hiding (2015) 1x01&1x02
A family of bogans have to relocate from the Gold Coast after cops smash into their house because their father is a failed drug dealer. They are put in witness protection and end up in a bad neighbourhood in Sydney. The family are renamed the Swifts and have to leave friends, family and life behind them. The wife has hysterics. This is woefully bad. The wife wears flesh coloured trousers that make her look half naked and she looks the same age as her kids.

This Australian drama seems very like that old show ‘Runaway’. The himbo son wants to leave. The violent criminal father attacks a dude. Everyone in this bogan family is thick. There is lying and a gun. The son whines. The rest of the family are selfish whining losers. The mother can’t drive. A chick from ‘Home & Away’ shows up. A rubbish gangster looks for them. The witness protection seems very slipshod. They’re so pitifully dumb!

Best Lines:
“Things fell down.”

“You’re putting us in a crackhouse?”

“They’re not trash.”

“Things happen to people.”

Liar (2017) 1x01
This ITV drama was mediocre. Laura is single and having mid-life disappointments. Andrew is a widower. His son is at the school where Laura teaches. The son looks 23. Laura has a sister named Katie. Andrew is seemingly lovely and she seems to have no emotional acuity and is catastrophically insincere to a deranged degree. They have a date and then it is the morning after. Laura seems to misattribute events to Andrew. She wails about creep sex and wine cries.

There are no significant witnesses and the distressing possibility is that she’s an attention seeking loon. Andrew (Ioan Gruffudd from ‘Hornblower’, ‘Forever’ and ‘Fantastic Four’) broods and is arrested. There is bad acting and grim treatment. Her brother-in-law makes a reference to “what happened last time”. What did Laura do? She bullies Andrew’s son and shrieks. Why was she on medication? Laura’s sister Katie is boffing Laura’s ex Tom who is a cop. Tom looks into Andrew’s wife suicide. Laura obsesses over glasses in the dishwasher. Laura rants online. She’s a loon.

Best Lines:
“Feel like I’m in ‘Dawson’s Creek’.”

“Are you decent?”
“Very rarely.”

“Arrogant sod.”

“A hysterical madwoman telling lies about the hero surgeon.”

“Whatever you’re planning. I’m asking you: don’t do it.”

Hannah’s Diary
The girls misbecome. Adam sexts Hannah, by mistake. They have sex as a result. This was decrepit.

Best Lines:
“I feel like I can smell it through the phone.”

“He’s a noted psychopath.”

Hard Being Easy
Charlie finds out what Marnie really thinks of him. He’s angry and hauls off a table. Hannah is a narcissist and wears an owl clock pendant. Adam and Hannah are unaffectionate. This was not mournful. Hannah is an inconsiderate intrusive presence.

Best Lines:
“I hate everyone who loves me.”

“You filthy boy.”

The Return
Hannah visits her parents with her belongings in a bin bag. She doesn’t own a suitcase or any measure of love for them. How can she afford flights and health care with no money? Hannah has a 2004 imac in her old bedroom. Hannah and co are emotionally lost. So? This show is increasingly awful. There is copious nudity. This leaves one deeply unsatisfied. Collective discomforts are mined with scathing mercilessness. Adam is breathtakingly unhinged and Hannah gibbers incoherently about her emotional torpor. Adam is in his pants.

Best Line:
“A sex injury. So that happened.”

Welcome To Bushwick A.K.A The Crackcident
Hannah always wears hideously unflattering clothes. Crack is accidentally smoked. Hannah learns Adam is an alcoholic in AA since he was 17. Adam yells. It tries.

Best Line:
“You never asked!”

Pour Some Sugar, Zombie
Liv consumes the brain of a recently murdered stripper. Liv is awful. There is snooping. Liv learns her boyfriend is a cop. Major turns back into a zombie. Oh this sucked.

Best Line:
“I figured I might need to remember that.”



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