epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Reign 4x10 + Colony 2x07 + Riverdale 1x06&1x07 Reviewed

A Better Man
Greer whines and acts like a slut. James is a tool. Where there bathhouses in Tudor England? Darnley whines. Mary is an idiot. Elizabeth boffs Gideon. Catherine and Narcisse plot. Charles’ bimbo shrieks and cannot act. People shriek exposition. So much padding and only 6 eps to go. Knox’s wife is not out on the street but Knox took her back sorta. Knox stirs crap up. Things go awry. Mary is awful. James is banished. Catherine and her mancandy plot. Charles shows up to bore. Henri (played by a new actor) shows up. This bored. Since when was Henri fighting Turks?

Best Lines:
“He treats me with the same affection he shows the furniture.”

“How very sad for you.”

“What use is a woman if she cannot reproduce?”

Free Radicals
One has true contempt for the Resistance scum. Katie is a wilful slut as is Bram. They think they’re defiant. Will is billy no mates. Bo is missed. TPTB have cheapened this show beyond measure. The Resistance have estrangement from reality. How can they end the threat of aliens planning human extinction? Maddie and Nolan have issues; he has cold fury. Katie causes issues with her coveting. People are fearful of a world they can no longer understand. There is no sense of assurance. Snyder is worried. Gross Katie lies. Religious nutters are crazy. Poor stupid Bram is sad. There is a bomb and I hate Katie. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“To liberty.”

“We stand on the line between order and chaos.”

“Not now!”

“I’m dealing with idiots.”

“Cast them out.”

“Degrading time signature.”

“It’s a death camp.”

Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!
I don’t care about Jughead’s dubious future or blighted present. Alice stares and attributes blame. Jughead is unloved and unwanted. Everyone in town seems to have shared trauma and bad decisions. There is more crap about Archie’s music. NOBODY CARES!
Archie and Valerie bond. This ep has no unique allure. Polly’s locked up in a nunnery. This was direfully bad and tepid, padded, uneventful and full of idiots. The foundational reality of this show is that Archie both sucks and blows. Josie and the Pussycats have issues. Josie has a stage mom. Veronica whines. Jughead constantly dispenses information nobody cares about. Polly is pregnant. She doesn’t know Jason is dead. Alice is awful with icy specificity. Josie’s dad is awful. Polly breaks out.

Best Line:
“He will somehow blame me.”

In A Lonely Place
Jughead has a crazed hallucination in the style of the original ‘Archie’ comics and their sedimented mythology. Where are social services? Does nobody notice that Jughead is homeless? Archie is awful as is Veronica. Cheryl is disgusting. FP Jones (Skeet Ulrich) is a drunk.

Why does Veronica have a credit card? She’s a spoilt brat. Jughead is arrested. Jughead was in a juvenile delinquent centre back in the day. Jughead ends up beyond desperate. The Blossoms plan to take Polly’s baby. This was desultory. FP yells and Archie’s dad lies. FP can’t resolve conflict. Archie is a conceited mediocrity.

Best Lines:
“Gave me lip.”

“Like an extra in a Wes Craven movie.”

“Those ‘Paradise Lost’ kids went to death row because they wore black and they listened to Metallica. I don’t wanna become a scapegoat.”

“I can’t go back to the attic.”
Tags: colony, reign, riverdale

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