epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Review: Ouija (2014)

Keep telling yourself it’s just a game. Has there been an Ouija board movie since the ‘Witchboard’ movies? Bad child actors play with a Ouija board with predictably disastrous results. Then suddenly a blame giving teen hurls a Ouija board into a fireplace. So an inanimate object is the chief villain for this film? This had a sequel I now have no interest in.

There are no eerie displacements of mood or discomfiture. This doesn’t over-awe or even awe. It is slow moving and boring and was rightly mocked in an episode of season 1 ‘Scream Queens’. One has quite low expectations of the characters as people. There is bad acting, wooden dialogue and everyone is a moron. Absent parents are not especially reluctant to leave their children alone. Fools impressively undeserving of life die, very slowly.

There is no sense of utter sadness, just stupidity. This was so slow and boring and full of shouting by irresponsible tools. This was non-threatening and the characters have deference to a bit of wood. There is no coming cataclysm. Lin Shaye shows up and tricks condescending fools. Nothing in this film makes any sense. What did they do about the body in the basement? Robyn Lively was in this morass of flat effect acting and people who have no horrific realisation about what lies beyond.

Best Lines:
“Don’t care so much.”

“Do not go seeking answers from the dead.”

“She’s not alive anymore.”

“Chasing the dead.”

“You made a connection. With what?”
Tags: movie review, scream queens

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