epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: The Devil's Candy + The Mummy Returns

The Devil’s Candy (2015)
Deeply cross and unpleasant people face badly lit horror. A struggling painter is possessed by satanic forces after he and his young family move into their dream house in rural Texas. Ethan Embry, Shiri Appleby, Tony Amendola and Leland Orser star.

People talk like they are on opiates. There is loud music, mumbling and this was not emotionally intense. This was remarkably dumb and has a lack of narrative structure and no genuine creepiness. This was all crass stupidity and entirely useless plot dross. Characters do bizarre things and this creates no overwhelming fear. A reverend speaks about satan.

There is a fight over a guitar. The artist and his wife bore. There are poor choices and no complexities or nuanced narrative. There is not 1 second of gripping dramatic narrative here. There is a lack of logic. Dad is dickish and this was deeply, deeply uninteresting. There is no sinister darkness or evil charm. Bad things happen to odious people. There is screaming and this was beyond ropey.

Best Lines:
“Pack your things; you’re going back to the hospital!”

“Not like Charlie Manson lived here.”

“There is someone here and it’s not the pizza man!”

“You don’t live here anymore.”

“You’re mean.”

“Satan’s lie.”

“An active violent anti-god personal reality.”

“Various religions of man.”

“The Dark God. The Fallen God.”

“Change them locks.”

The Mummy Returns (2001)
Tags: movie review

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