epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Colony 2x06 + Salem 3x09&3x10 + Reign 4x09 + Trust Me 1x01 Reviewed

Crying Brits are menaced by people speaking foreign. Katie has moral turpitude and social imbecility. She transgresses the bounds of decent conduct. The Resistance has a moral collapse. Bethany Joy Lenz, Adrian Pasdar and Ally Walker guest star. A Resistance guy develops an incurable cough of death. Katie has non-compliance with sense. Nobody has heard of non-violent resistance or tactical withdrawal.

Where has Will’s accumulating resentment about Katie’s sheer awfulness gone? The Resistance bothers Katie. Nolan is now the deputy proxy. There is yelling and bad acting. Will ruins somebody else’s life. Snyder plots.

Bram sulks and tantrums. A doctor smugs. What are the aliens having shipped off planet? Why is the Resistance member sick after handling alien tech? Oh, radiation! Katie wears nude lipstick. Maddie bothers Nolan. Katie is smug and vile. There is sap. Workcamp morons build a bomb. TPTB plot and this was dreck. This show has gone down the toilet.

Best Lines:
“Why haven’t they done anything?”

“I suggest you stop.”

“Show some gratitude.”

“This is depressing.”

“Your ex-wife’s ex-assistant.”

“Order and duty.”

Saturday Mourning
Tituba sews smol satan back together. Witches match wits. There are dramatic looks all round and bemusement and no predictive thinking. Lucy Lawless and Marilyn Manson feature. The Countess orates and Sebastian whines, bitches and moans. There is no proper thinking. Mercy lets Cotton know what’s become of his whore. Cotton humps his whore. Nothing is well-meant. Cotton becomes an outraged detractor of his wife. John Alden is useless and Mary mumbles.

Purveyors of evil are everywhere. Cotton and Anne fight. Where is Brown Jenkins? Anne reminds Cotton of his sins. There is no grave dignity and this was not a welcome addition to the show. Mercy is intolerable. What is the point of Dorcas? Anne and Sebastian engage in incest. John Alden slaps around the dude played by Marilyn Manson. Mary engages in animal abuse. Tituba rants about her formative experiences. Mary fails to comprehend. Smol satan and his bad acting is back. This was bad.

Best Lines:
“More than one kind of angel.”

“You think Tituba in league with the devil.”

“The grave they took me from.”

“God may forgive all but I won’t!”

Black Sunday
This televised spectacle sees Anne ranting about the violence she is going to inflict. John Alden and Mary shrug off their son’s death and rebirth as smol satan. Sebastian has malicious intent and no focus or purpose. Smol satan isn’t menacing or looming. John Alden and Sebastian continue their ownership dispute over Mary. What’ll become of Marilyn Manson’s character? Is Sebastian dead? Oh who cares?

Cotton is sent to hell, like the doctor. What’ll become of the whore? If there is a door to hell, why don’t the demons just walk out? Cotton ends up in hell and doesn’t meet the doctor. Cotton preferred going to hell than staying with Anne, he HATES her. Anne is irredeemable. The red mercury turns out to be a non-event.

Anne plans to make the Grand Rite a repeatable template, maybe. Is Anne is going to do all the sacrifices and blood letting AGAIN? Cotton isn’t taintless. Smol satan becomes big boy satan. Isaac may or may not be dead. The world’s dumbest riot takes place. What was the point of Dorcas? The countess returns, sorta. Anne revels in her triumph and Cotton screams. Anne lets John live because she loved him once. Mary lives. Anne is to be satan’s new bride, maybe.

Anne rids herself of Tituba, the Countess, Mercy and Hathrone. She has new malevolence. What happened to Tituba’s magic? Is Tituba dead? Cotton and the whore’s baby will be satan’s new vessel, maybe. This was okay. John Alden and Mary stroll off, presumably to live off just the clothes on their backs. Anne puts it about and starts the witch hunt up again, by telling part of the truth. Brown Jenkins returns and the show ends with Anne’s triumph. This was the final ep so why did Mary live?

Best Lines:
“Oh shut up!”

“It won’t hurt. Not at first.”

“You’re sorry?!? To her?!?”

“Satan’s whores.”

“Birth a race of gods and monsters.”

“Left you for a mere whore.”

“Spare you what is coming.”

“A fool knows a foolish path and you are set upon one!”

“And give up my kingdom on earth? No.”

“The world to come will be founded on the blood, sweat and bones of people like you.”

Pulling Strings
Mary wears a tiara. Catherine plans strategic whispers. Catherine never visited Scotland. Where are Mary’s powerful Guise relatives? Greer’s pirate shows up and wanders around the palace with his shirt billowing open. Greer annoys. Bothwell humps Mary’s leg. Mary is pregnant. Is it Darnley’s? Gideon bores. Will Gideon just frak off?!!? James sexes up Knox’s wife. Keira never existed! Nor did Gideon! Stupid TPTB!

Lady Lennox meets Catherine. They never met. There is plotting and bad acting, Mary is unaccommodating and caustic. Why is Mary so obsessed with taking England? Greer acts sniffy over access. Knox abandons his wife on the street in her shift, which was legal for a husband to do to his wife who had shamed him then. Mary and Bothwell head to their destruction. Darnley is drunk. David lurks. Mary wears anachronistic clothing. James romances Greer and forgets Knox’s shamed wife.

There are bagpipes and Mary wears a very modern gold dress with a veil and bouquet. Elizabeth tantrums. Darnley is a wayward loser. Elizabeth shags Gideon on the floor. Greer says noble girls don’t have pierced ears. This was not good.

Best Lines:
“Dark cloud of shame.”

“Pull you from the pub.”

“Forever do the same.”

“The end of me.”

“You’ll be disgraced.”

“Never let him benefit from your death.”

“Piety peddlers.”

“Consequence of wickedness.”

Trust Me (2017) 1x01
This BBC1 drama stars Jodie Whittaker as a nurse who whistle blows on failings in the NHS. The nurse, Cath, has a daughter and a useless mooching ex. Nobody listens to Cath. The NHS takes a low level of culpability. Cath is not welcome. Cath conveniently has a best friend named Alison who is a doctor. Alison is leaving the country to marry a New Zealand sheep farmer. She leaves Cath her clothes. Alison also conveniently dumps all her paperwork in a bin.

Cath takes the paperwork and steals Alison’s identity and moves to Scotland to work as an A&E doctor. Cath’s ex is useless. Cath’s daughter giggles. Cath has no fire or fury. Cath forgets things like painkillers. How is she paid? What about a background check? Cath meets a new man. A reporter looks for Cath, like a creepy stalker. Cath's not doing herself any favours. She needs 'her' passport. This was soul-deadenng.

Best Lines:
“Weak ankled whingers.”

“Another lesbian skirt.”
Tags: colony, doctor who, reign, review, salem

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