Maryam d-Abo of ‘Something Is Out There’ is the boring Bond girl du jour. Q is endearing. 007 has causal heartlessness and he smokes. A ghetto blaster RPG shows up as does a milkman with glass bottles. The 80s. A hitman throttles people with the cable of his walkman. This was 007 before the age of kale. There is no moral reasoning and this was curiously unsatisfactory.
This was not laden with moral connotations. 007 leaves property destruction and international incidents behind him. There is a huge mobile phone and Felix shows up. Baddies who can’t aim show up a lot and there is a fake assassination. Bond and his girl end up in Afghanistan where Art Malik is a local rebel leader. No comment. The Bond girl is useless and downright risible. She is not endearingly deluded and beleaguered.
An unpleasant decadent arms dealer acts like a kid. There is no bitter personal conflict. The woman is dowdy and cross. This is an excruciating embarrassment. Dalton tries for emotional ferocity among the incoherency. There are palm trees in Afghanistan. There is mumbling about opium and frosted lipstick is worn. Jeroen Krabbe overacts as the fake defector, Joe Don Baker is the arms dealer, John Rhys-Davies is the friendly Russian and Julie T Wallace is a one scene wonder as an Amazonian pipeline worker.
“Back end of horse!”
“A live rich man.”
“Put him on the plane to Moscow. In the diplomatic bag.”
“You looking for a party?”
“KGB snipers normally wear body armour.”
“First place they’d look.”
“Stuff my orders.”
“Listen to my Barry Manilow collection.”
“The food here is barbaric.”
“That’s peasant food for us.”
“Struggling for world revolution.”