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Criminal Minds 7x22 + The Handmaid’s Tale 1x08 + Gotham 3x15 + Into The Badlands 1x05&1x06 Reviewed

Profiling 101
The BAU lecture a college class about a prolific serial killer nicknamed Womb Raider. Thomas Gibson (before he was fired) emotes like a plank. In more recent eps they’ve changed the cast and brought back Mr Scratch. Okay.

Best Lines:
“Behavioural description.”

“Anything menial and temporary.”

“A dive bar? In this neighbourhood?”

“Prison movies.”

“You’re a curse.”

“Homeless guy into mooning people.”

~
Jezebels
Offred voiceovers with her customary dramatic emphasis. Does no-one notice Offred boffing Nick? Offred crosses lines other demarcate for her. Flashbacks show Nick was a miscreant and how his life was without purpose. Nick has a brother. An unscrupulous type recruited Nick. The Sons Of Jacob had chapters in 30 states. Did no-one notice?

The Commander defies expected norms of behaviour and he has complete disregard for the emotional needs of others. He shaves Offred’s legs. The Handmaids have to shave their legs for the Ceremony. The Commander likes dictating how women should act, look and speak. What has the Commander done with or to his previous Handmaids? Nick liked the fellowship elements of the Sons Of Jacob aka him being given a job.

Offred has to put on make-up. Was it Serena Joy’s? Where did it come from? The Commander is all self-congratulatory. Didn’t cosmetic and clothing companies object to being put out of business? The Commander makes Offred put on a stripper dress. Where did he get it? The Commander has no allegiance to the complex moral code and value system of Gilead. He is actively horrible and has no social responsibility. He sniffs Offred’s Rapunzel like locks.

This ep is full of mad events and has no emotional openness. Where is Serena Joy’s mother? Serena Joy was visiting her so I doubt she was sent to the colonies like all other old women. So where is she? Nick remains ferociously loyal to Gilead. Serena Joy tries to bond with Offred. Gilead is powered by solar energy now according to the Commander. He boasts of tenements being pulled down. What happened to the occupants of the tenements? The Commander is all forced jollity, grim satisfaction and bad intent.

There are places wives can’t go. Offred is shown that there is nowhere for women to run. A Nick flashback shows him driving around 3 men in a limo who casually discuss creating Handmaids, rounding up women, dismissing their wives, upending society and having smirking splenetic glory in their own crapitude. They had no rectitude about forced sex and forced pregnancy. The Commander violates Gilead’s well understood set of limits and moral vision. Offred has to have a pleasing disposition and act contentedly.

The Commander takes Offred to a brothel. Moira works there, she says people smuggle Handmaids out of the country and she was caught. The Commander is pestilent. Moira seems broken and resigned to being a prostitute. The deadly conceit of Gilead is clear. Offred gets overwrought and Nick has unstinting fealty to Gilead. The Commander deems this expedient, so much for social responsibility. Nick and a Martha have a thing. He’s a drug dealer? She used to be an award winning chef and now she is a Martha in a brothel. Flashbacks show the fate of Offred’s predecessor: she killed herself. What does Serena Joy know?

The Commander mentions purges. How many districts are there? Nick does watchful silence and thinks enigmatic thoughts. Offred is stultified. The over-earnest Commander is emotionally sure and morally fierce. Gilead is not glorious. Offred sees men messing with prostitutes dressed as Handmaids and wives and she sees a mutilated prostitute. This was excellent and gloriously ghastly. Once the Waterfords had a faith based marriage, now they have this.

Best Lines:
“I wish this story were different.”

“Wants to set things right. Clean up this country.”

“He recedes.”

“Not for longer than necessary.”

“I don’t have any choice.”

“Has better sense when the new one arrives.”

“Femaleroad.”

“What used to be Boston.”

“I’ve never been out this far, not since before the Red Centre.”

“Moral stain from their lives before.”

“All remaining fertile women should be collected.”

“That’s a non-issue.”

“Nice and godly.”

“He took New York.”

“You’re contraband.”

“Black van. Feet first.”

“No one gets out.”

“Corrupting influence.”

“Get back out on the floor!”

“The wives do like their legal chemicals.”

“Some of the guests have ‘Sleeping Beauty’ fantasies.”

“The Eyes thank your for your service.”

“What did you think was going to happen?”

~
How The Riddler Got His Name
Gordon’s uncle brings up The Court Of Owls. Riddler annoys. Gordon and his creepy uncle have no gentility. Bruce and his moral prism has no conscious purpose. Why doesn’t he do any work around the house? Bruce is wearisome; he has ferocious animosity to Alfred. Riddler hallucinates a visibly furious Penguin.

Riddler is sheer tedium and particularly vapid and has socio-arty hallucinations of Penguin. Riddler has negative sentiments for Penguin. Bullock is in peril. Bruce and his revenge narrative bores. Riddler wears a green suit and there is no growing expectation to see his big badness. Fox rolls his eyes. Riddler’s spiteful logic doesn’t work. This was okay but has no profound emotional engagement.

Riddler is dysregulated. There is no social reintegration for Riddler. Bruce’s unnecessary clone has no pleasing disposition. Gordon’s uncle can’t act. Riddler does his ‘mad’ laugh and tries to be scary. There is bad acting. Riddler is The Riddler now. Ivy has saved Penguin. Bruce is locked up by the Court of Owls.

Best Lines:
“Do you feel destabilised?”

“Hit him. I’m wearing my nice suit.”

“How will anyone sleep knowing a chess killer’s on the loose?”

“This excuse for a higher primate.”

“You are not a good enough enemy!”

“No-one’s going to be afraid of the Riddler.”
“Maybe not yet, but they will be.”

~
Snake Creeps Down
The Baron and Baroness are incapable of making any life decisions. They’re antagonistically dreadful. The Baron does maladministration. MK and Ryder stare. There is bad acting. Ryder is fugly and mean. WTF are the book and pendant? What happened to Ryder as a child? There are traps in the woods. Lance Henriksen and Stephen Lang guest star.

The Baron inspires violent hatred. Ryder meets his grandfather (Henriksen). There isn’t a single intellectual concept in this. This show is in pervasive decline. This ep is frivolous. The Baron is war mad. What sort of totem religion does the grandfather practise? This is not an interesting tale of a broken land hostile to anyone who walks in. The Widow wears false eyelashes and she strolls in and out of the Baron’s property. This makes no sense and is lame guff.

Best Lines:
“Trying to find enemies where they don’t exist.”

“Kindness is a weapon men use to get what they want.”

“Sounds ominous.”

“Doing that without killing the bulb.”

Hand Of Five Poisons
Season 1 ends here. Jade poisons herself to get rid of wife number 1 Lydia. Sunny’s woman is inconsolable. The phrase The Dark One is used without irony. Weirdoes drive around. Lydia is thrown out with just the clothes on her back and her totems. Ryder sneers. She walks home to daddy. Ryder plots, badly. Quinn turns on Sunny. The Widow smokes opium. The Widow and co just wander into Quinn’s territory again.

This was unsentimental and disconsolate. There is brazen immorality and people have total disregard for the good of others. There is no grisly endgame. There is manly striving, juvenile malice and Waldo is revealed as a traitor. There is no social inclusion. Who made the glass bottles? This was unsound. Is Quinn dead? MK gets violent and Ryder sadly doesn’t die. There is fighting and rapidly changing affiliations. There are reveals and choices and people left in remarkably uncomfortable spots. This was an okay tale of vile creatures.

Best Lines:
“As you taught me.”

“Stupid petulant boy.”

“Then get his weapon.”

“Show me more gratitude.”

“Are you in much pain?”
“Of course.”

“His loyalty would be his downfall.”

“Bleeding out in a ditch somewhere.”

“A husk of a world left to us by these enlightened men.”
Tags: gotham, handmaids tale, review
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