epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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4 TV Reviews

Into The Badlands (2015-?) 1x01-1x04

The Fort
A saga about a post-apoc world ruled by Barons. They still have petrol but no guns. Who made Sunny’s sunglasses and leather jacket and his sword? Where did the telescope come from? New slang is thrown around Cogs (slaves), clippers (mercenaries) and there are gratuitous acts of violence. Orla Brady and Sarah Bolger and Marton Csokas star. The opening credits are okay. There is a boy in a box and a field of poppies. Who built the wall and made the flags at the Baron's house?

A lot of men work out. Sunny works for a Baron (Csokas) who lives in a house with a dramatic staircase. He has a bad southern accent and a stick-on beard. There were wars that caused the apocalypse apparently. Where did Sunny get his motorbike?

Best Lines:
“That protection became servitude.”

“This world is built on blood. Nobody is innocent here.”

Fist Like A Bullet
A squirrel runs around. The Widow wanders into a cathouse full of weird acts. Curling irons still exist apparently. The Widow tosses her bright red hair aka an obvious wig. There is an OTT cool fight scene. Who made The Widow’s fetish boots and how does her wig not come off? The Baron’s son sneers. The Widow has a daughter. A pendant is important. Blue nail polish still exists. WTF is a Regent? There is soap. The Widow has a dead son. How old is The Widow? MK lies. The Baron was once a cog.

Best Line:
“That miserable old pecan tree.”

White Stork Spreads Wings
There is an attack. There are bad fight scenes that look like pro-wrestling. One wonders: who are these people? Stephen Lang shows up as Sunny’s mentor. The Baroness (Brady) is angry that her husband is to marry a second wife (Bolger). I am a bit intrigued.

Best Lines:
“How long?”
“Til I come back.”

Two Tigers Subdue Dragons
Is Sunny (Daniel Wu) the hero of this story or what? Baron Quinn glares fixedly. This show has too much of the smirk about it. There are no fatal consequences. Quinn’s wives don’t like each other. Sunny is suddenly out of synch with the value systems he’s expected to engage in. This was ugh and deadly dull earnest. Quinn is dying. This was glum and portentous. Waldo lurks. MK has secrets. Sunny’s woman is knocked up. Who is The River King? Ryder plots.

Best Lines:
“You never give anything.”

“Expect me to worship you with gratitude.”

“Death and drought and more death.”

Murdered For Being Different (2017)
This BBCIII follow up to ‘Murdered By My Boyfriend’ and ‘Murdered By My Father’ depicts the true story of the murder of Sophie Lancaster in 2007. A goth couple - Sophie and Robert - are beaten by yobs in a skate park. There is muffled dialogue, one yob calls an ambulance because he feels bad about what his friends did and others stand by idly watching. Unlike the previous 2, this focuses on the aftermath.

Inarticulate yobs aren’t sorry about what they did and felt the Goth’s presence was not desirable. Previously Sophie and Robert were chased and had chips thrown at them. Robert was beaten into a coma but Sophie was left braindead. Robert’s parents are seen but not Sophie’s. Why did they cut off and bag Sophie’s dreadlocks during the autopsy? A scrote yells about his friends. The yob’s parents seem stupid. A policewoman rants about the right thing, this was okay.

Best Lines:
“Blood can jump 50 feet or something.”

“I never saw nothing!”

NCIS 13x11

Spinning Wheel
Tony is stupid. Ducky’s ringtone annoys. There are flashbacks to young Ducky and his never before mentioned half brother. They were separated due to unfortunate circumstances. This ep was an impingement. There are bad accents and a gig economy dude lives in a tent. Value judgements are made and amoral types lurk. This had bad acting. Poor put upon Ducky, there is a tie-in to ‘Broken Bird’ and why did Ducky’s stepmother go to Albania? Shouldn’t Ducky have retired by now? This wasn’t good.

Best Lines:
“Did some serious scorning.”

“Acoustic reflection.”

“Bides his time like a howler monkey in heat.”

“Ghastly horrible woman.”

“Despite abysmal parenting.”

“Nor would I want to.”

“Good riddance to the scrubber.”

“Who needs to work?”

“What’s wrong?”
“That! Very wrong!”

iZombie 2x07

Abra Cadaver
Liv and Major do not sex. There is a murder at Presto-Fest. Who killed the goth magician? Blaine annoys. A Penn and Teller expies hang out. This was okay with romance issues padding.

Best Lines:
“The reaper always takes his bounty.”

“Seems mildly threatening.”
Tags: izombie, review

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