epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Doctor Who 10x12 + Shadowhunters 1x13 + iZombie 2x05 Reviewed

The Doctor Falls
Well, this was rubbish. This was not made with even semi-competence. It had no staid realism. The Doctor has regal distain and a macho 90s vibe and makes speeches. ‘Caprica’ is ripped off. 10 years passed for Bill as she was made into a cyberman. Shrug. The First Doctor shows up, okay then.

The malign force Master creates another self-perpetuating crisis. The Master acts vilely and Missy has gnawing existential ennui. This was not grimly evocative. The Doctor finds it morally incumbent to be a narrative device during his protracted detainment; he also passes out and makes speeches. This was not very emotive. Missy acts in an over-exaggerated way and is not a dark nemesis. This was odious twattery.

Grievances are aired. This ep was demonstrably useless and was all contrived dramatic inertia. This was not a profound and satisfying pivotal moment. This was not ponderous or peculiar or inherently interesting. There are no momentous consequences to anything. The Master and Missy are petty, ruthless, clueless, megalomaniacal and frequently wrong. This was a nadir of crassness.

Bad things have happened and will happen to Bill. John Simm has no cold command or combustible persona just petulance and discord. There is no magnificent idiocy and this was not gruesomely compelling. Why is Matt Lucas in this? WHY? There are no moral voices or dark experiences. Missy is still making poor choices. Bill has tenacity and bores. The Doctor and the Master and Missy have an unbridgeable distance. There is no moral reasoning and people do the damage of men. Cybermen are an obliterating horror.

Donald Trump is insulted, because BBC. The Master and Missy kill each other. Bill gets an ass-pull ending. The Doctor walks off his coming regeneration.

Best Lines:
“Quite possibly not empty.”


“Cybermen don’t have fear but they know how to use it.”

“Feeling the glimmer of purpose.”

“If you’re trying to make a point, I’m not listening.”

“Kiss me.”
“Make me.”

“Like sewage, smartphones and Donald Trump, some things are just inevitable.”

“Begging for your life already? That’s a new record.”
“I’m not begging you. I’d rather die than beg you.”

Morning Star
There is no quiet dread as Hodge acts like a blatant psycho. Valentine has abandoned his Chernobyl outpost. Why was he there in the first place? Valentine has a lot of followers. He doesn’t want Hodge as one though and abandons him. There is a destruction of trust. Jace loves his leather jacket and fingerless gloves. Dire consequences are about to erupt. Nobody notices the wolves hunting Hodge?

Hodge and Jace fight. Hodge wields something curvy and Jace has a double bladed seraph blade. There is bad fight chorography. That is not the only ‘Star Wars’ ripoff in this ep. Nobody notices Jace talking to Valentine? As for Valentine, he wants to brainwash Jace. Clary tries to be tough. How long has it been since 1x01?

Clary is dumb. Where is Hodge when Jace runs after Clary? Where does Valentine get all his weapons? How did Hodge get back to the Institute? Valentine gets Jace to go with him. Simon is an ass. Jocelyn is woken and poor Jace is trapped with his crazy father. Good, I want to see season 2!

Best Lines:
Stop thinking with your stele Alec.”

“Jonathan and Clarissa, find them.”

“I am coming for you.”

“Jace isn’t Valentine.”
“Not yet.”

“You’re acting crazy.”

“He raised me to be a killer.”

“You’re just like your father.”
“Then you know how slow your death will be if you don’t answer my questions.”

“Oddly I haven’t missed you.”

“Love is fleeting.”

“It’s complicated.”

“You abandonded me.”

“Raised him to be evil.”

Love and Basketball
There is a murder, Liv babbles about basketball, Major broods and evil corporate types plot about zombies. Nobody exhibits emotions. Major has no assertiveness. Nobody has an ethical responsibility. Major has discontent. Nobody has emotional energy. Extreme sarcasm does not a quality show make. Liv is facetious. There is dubious behaviour and this was tiresome. Liv is petty-minded. Blaine bores. This was not unutterably gloomy. I have widespread contempt for this show. Major burns hot with injustice.

Best Line:
“Don’t ignore me woman!”
Tags: doctor who, izombie, mortal instruments

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