epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Reign 4x02 + Shadowhunters 1x08-1x10 + Fearless 1x02 Reviewed

A Grain Of Deception
Narcisse rants. Knox visits Elizabeth. Mary is not ingratiating. There are no lurking pagans in the hills. Mary is not content with her place in the world. The show is in irretrievable decline. Mary wears a gaudy tiara. Charles cracks up. Narcisse lurks. Mary has a luncheon. John Knox’s wife is miserable. Greer needs a good kicking. Leeza looks tan and annoyed. Claude wears ‘mourning’. Leeza’s personality has changed since 1x01.

There is a French embassy in Tudor times?!? Mary is billy-no-mates. Lola’s brat is seen. Bad fake accents are heard. Greer plans to leave. TPTB have total ignorance of the Tudor legal system. Leeza suggests a new minister. Narcisse rants. Gideon snots. Greer bigs up Mary. James is angry. Knox’s wife is manipulated. Narcisse stirs the pot regarding Darnley to hurt Elizabeth; of course he dooms Mary by doing so. Is Charles sick?

Best Lines:
“A woman with a throne.”

“The secret is in the arsenic. Or is it the lead? I forget. Both are so good for one's skin.”

“Straight off the farm.”

“Makes her have relations through a hole in the sheet.”

“Another empty chair.”

“I’m aware who you married Leeza, you don’t have to keep saying it.”

“We must kill them. Kill them all.”

“A woman of questionable birth that no-one really wants on the throne.”

~
Bad Blood
Clary is selfish and Alec has passive hostility. Clary has no moral cognition. Alec is deeply unimpressed by Clary. To be scathingly candid, I have utter vitriol for Simon. There is no suffocating atmosphere of dread. Raphael lurks. Isabelle has a combative tone. This show eats plot. Judgy pants Alec judges. Clary is indignant and has irrational reactions and can’t act.

Valentine operates without regard to morality or judgement and there is no reasoning, bargaining or escape from him. He’s not utterly malevolent or calmly imposing, just defiantly unrepentant. A Clave rep, Lydia, has bravado and swagger. Simon’s mom has avuncular warmth. Lydia and her side plait annoys. Alec learns his parents were followers of Valentine. There was bad acting. Isabelle is a forensic pathologist? Hodge shows up again. I don’t care about Simon’s manpain and his tantrums. This was goodish.

Best Lines:
“Last I checked Valentine is a shadowhunter.”

“I don’t want trouble with the shadowhunters.”
“Smart decision.”

Rise Up
Simon has little to do but yell inconsequentially. Seriously, enough with Simon! Clary is selfish. Simon is disconcerting in his credulous awfulness. A Seelie rants. Alec snots and has contempt for liberal values. Screw Simon and his hysterical bleating. Salad bitch Clary gets into hugs and tears territory. Simon is rage-stricken. Hodge lurks. There is no sense of menace. Lydia has no cold reserve.

Clary is inciting. An acrimonious dispute breaks out between Alec and Jace. This has no mythic texture or purpose. Alec and Jace demonstrate hostile intent. They fight, hotly.

Best Lines:
“It’s your life to ruin.”

“Someplace the Clave would never look.”

“Anyone of importance.”

“Bite me.”
“All over.”

“Come with me.”
No.”

This World Inverted
The blue haired Seelie points out the obvious and waves his hands to send Clary to another dimension. Wolves growl. Simon shows off his plastic fangs. Clary’s obvious orange dye job makes her look like a carrot. Valentine is a caring parent in the other dimension. Oddly there is no sight of Clary’s dead brother. Bane is a cheesy psychic and Luke and Hodge appear in this TV ads. A Mad Hatter party is thrown which is blatant and obvious product placement for that flop ‘Alice Through The Looking Glass’ movie.

Clary sees Alec, Isabelle and Jace as normal people, which is freaky. Clary wears orange eyeshadow. Clary wants Jace to sexually pleasure her. Valentine wears a Mad Hatter hat. In reality Isabelle is arrested and disparages Lydia. Simon prances and Alec is stupid. This was good. Alec takes his shirt off and writhes around. A demon in a rubber suit attacks. Jace is always pulling his shirt up. Jace meets his daddy.

Best Lines:
“Where the hell have you been?”
“Where I need to be, away from you.”

“Could you be more vague?”

“There’s something dead outside.”

“Malodorous monstrosity.”

“That’s not even a little bit funny.”

“Chairman Meow.”

“Jace is dead to me.”

~
Fearless 1x02
Emma is a disgusting person. She may have had a baby she gave away. Kevin is thrown out of a hotel. Emma thinks she’s redoubtable. An MP, Wild, lurks. Is he played by Jamie Bamber? Why does Annie defend Kevin? Jason hates Kevin. Emma snots. Emma shows everyone the glamour shots of Linda. Kevin is a lying liar who lies. Emma rants about a conspiracy and perceived wrongs and wants to exhume Linda. She’s sick.

A woman with a bad US accent lurks. Emma is a person of interest which leads to an anti-terror squad raiding her house. Emma covers up for the terrorist living in her house and doesn’t care that Linda was horribly murdered in 2003. Annie insults Linda. Emma is sure Linda had a connection to the USAF. Emma is punched in the face by Linda’s mother. Emma insults Linda’s family, slutshames Linda and doesn’t know Olivia as well as she thinks. Wild is up to something. There is overacting. Emma leaks the photos which should be illegal as Linda was 15. Emma is vile and her sidekick is hilariously run over while doing 2KPH on a scooter. Emma is stupid. This was okay.

Best Lines:
“I’m not sorry.”

“She was a little slut.”

“What’s that?”
“Tits.”

“Since when do you wear jewellery on a bra?”

“The legal risk to himself.”

“Protesting everything.”

“You over-played your hand.”
Tags: fearless, mortal instruments, reign
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