epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
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The Big Lie #3 + Secret Empire #4 Reviewed

Nancy Drew and The Hardy Boys: The Big Lie 3
This is a darker and edgier reboot of the teen detectives. This has ugly art that looks like something out of ‘Excalibur’ from the 1990s. Apparently Hardy Snr was murdered and the trio are investigating. This is all super-serious with maniacal gang-members. Nancy is all moroseness. This is full of incipient earnestness. The Hardy Boys regard each other unaffectionatly.

Nancy’s dad prosecuted Hardy Snr? The Drew and Hardy families are in a feud apparently. What is hidden in the devices the gang members want? This has no moodiness or noir. Nobody notices 3 teenagers acting furtively. This was botched.

Best Lines:
“This is a burger-free car.”

“Have you been drinking coffee again?”

“He does not like your family.”

~
Secret Empire 4
The Punisher is Hydra. Black Widow trains child soldiers. Why are they wearing their distinctive costumes if they are undercover? Ultron lurks. Why do people treat the Tony Stark AI as a real thing? Who is Taskmaster? There are 2 Ant-Mans? WTF? I’m confused. Why is Thor not Thor? The heroes fight each other over stupid petty things.

What did Hank Pym do? Why do all his friends dislike him now? What did he do to Janet? Is Hank himself or is he Ultron? AI Tony Stark annoys. Narmor shows up. There is a mole on Tony’s team. Who is it? Where is the real Tony? This was okay.

Best Lines:
“We are simply having a conversation about knives.”

“Ultron fight number 582.”

“The other Ant-Man! The one nobody likes!”

“Danger’s afoot.”

“You always have such big ideas for solving the world’s problems. Funny, then, how you just keep making everything worse.”

“It was hard for people act like everything was still okay, like they were still okay with you--”

“You were a lout and cretin who made his fortune selling weapons to murderers. Your arrogance started two wars--”

“It’s all any of you will ever remember me for --all you ever say about me!”
Tags: comics
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