epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

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Shadowhunters 1x05-1x07 + Reign 4x01 + Fearless (2017) 1x01 Reviewed

Moo Shu To Go
Alec denigrates rational discourse and Clary has no inviolable dignity. People talk in death metal lyrics. Clary gets in a moral lather. Nobody has moral wisdom. Isabelle and Clary are insta-friends. Clary overlooks her mother lying. Why does Isabelle dress like a thot? Idris is mentioned. Isabelle and Alec’s mirthless mom shows up. Jace does slo-mo working out. Isabelle is the unfavoured in her family. Alec is pernicious with his obnoxious and preposterous stance.

Why is nobody asking Alec about breaking the circle in 1x04? There is a mention of parabatai. Alec has unstated love for Jace. Simon hangs out with a vampire. He is cumbersome. Witless Alec has causal disregard, he provokes. Clary is not contemplative and is preposterously jaunty. Clary goes on about a box.

Bane has polite bemusement.  Werewolves are not essentially reasonable. A seelie lurks. Valentine is not evil in a venomous form. This has no looming menace. The Accords are mentioned. This ep is an absolute, unmitigated disaster. Simon and Clary are in peril. Luke can cause no revival of trust with Clary, at first. Luke is a werewolf, like duh.

Best Lines:
“Valentine’s been experimenting again.”

“Why do you always look so miserable?”

“If he is worthy, he will live.”

“I’m sure you believe that.”

“Are you insane or just an idiot?”

Of Men And Angels
Max and Mr Lightwood show up. Alec needs to shut up. Simon whines. There is no moral purpose or tragic grandeur to this. There are flashbacks to young Valentine, Jocelyn and Luke. The flashbacks have a weird eerie ambience. Fights are bloodless. The plastic Mortal Cup is located. There is a mention of Raziel. Luke talks about how he was parabatai with Valentine (Owen Roth) before he went mad and grew up. Valentine tried to kill Luke and is why Luke is now a werewolf. The Seraph Blades have audible sharpness. This was okay and there is a mention of Clary’s brother.

Best Lines:
“They think Valentine can win.”

“Luke’s car may have found its way into a pole.”

“Open the Great Book.”

“Your boytoys.”

“Why aren’t you dead?”

“I have a brother?”
“You did.”

Major Arcana
Jace wears fingerless gloves like it is 1987. Luke is in trouble. Simon has a sister. No parents are nurturing. Simon has a monopoly of reverence for himself. This was mmmm. I don’t care about Simon’s manpain. Clary wants her family reunited and finally the Mortal Cup is found.

Best Line:
“Like Beyonce riding on a dinosaur through Times Square. People would notice.”

~
With Friends Like These
Mary is smug and plans to marry Darnley (Will Kemp of ‘Petals On The Wind’). She provokes and then Greer shows up. In France, Claude tantrums. In England, Lady Lennox sneers and lies. Elizabeth has fake tan on. In Spain, Don Carlos (Mark Ghanime) runs around naked as Queen Leeza shrieks. You know it is Spain as the caption says so and women have fans.

Queen Leeza is supposed to be the girl from 1x01. It is a different actress. Claude is still not married. Exposition is dropped. Lola’s funeral is held in Scotland; she was a daft bimbo skank and isn’t missed. James is spurious. Clan Gordon kidnaps Mary. Gideon is a non-participant. Narcisse is in jail. The acting is bad. Claude tantrums. Where is Margot? You know, Queen Margot, the Valois who would outlive her entire line? Mary is ungrateful, rude and dim. Narcisse yells. One looks at this mess with incredulity. Mary is the worst.

Why does Mary obsesse over the English throne? She has her own throne to worry about. Mary shrieks and vows to marry Darnley. Sigh. Choppy choppy her head off already.

Best Lines:
“But I don’t have to tell you that.”
“Yet you do.”

“Which Queen?”

“Spain can’t fund this court forever.”

“That dead kitchen boy.”

“Right dynastic line.”

“End our line.”

“I had his father killed. Do you think I want him rising in station?”

“That is how your reign will end.”

“Act shocked.”
“I am shocked.”
“Even better.”

“Are you waiting for my fall?”

“Justice cannot be a sin.”

~
Fearless (2017) 1x01
This ITV drama is good and far superior to the crap ‘The Loch’. Emma is a solicitor who represents scum. She is asked to represent Kevin, a man who has spent 14 years in jail for killing a schoolgirl. Kevin claims innocence. Why has he been falsely painted as a murderer? What are the secrets of Emma’s father? Why does Emma have the wife and child of a man who went to Syria living in her house? Emma is under surveillance. The tabloids hate her as do the police. Her co-worker Maggie (Jemima Rooper from ‘Hex’) sighs.

Emma has a dying father and a disapproving mother. There are lots of secrets and hints. Emma is snotty and rude. Emma slutshames the schoolgirl who was buried alive. Emma blathers on about conifers. What is the deal with the RAF base? Emma mocks the dead girl’s family. The press are involved. Emma is trying to adopt?!? Emma’s boyfriend is a former press photographer. Kevin’s son doesn’t want to know his imprisoned dad.

Emma sees conspiracies especially when a re-examination of the autopsy yields new information. Kevin’s case goes back to court and his conviction is quashed and he is to be retried. Dirty pictures of Linda surface. A dodgy Yank and a man in the corridors of power discuss the case. What is going on? Who took those photos of Linda? Who killed her? This was good!

Best Lines:
“20 for a quarter of a million people.”

“Defending any more sex offenders?”

“Why hasn’t she got a phone with GPS like a normal person?”

“Most coerced confessions get thrown out. Yours wasn’t.”

“She never gave up on him, ever.”

“Bring up nothing but ridicule.”

“Also expose other things.”

“You let a terrorist’s wife live in your home and you set a murderer free.”

“Little hut.”

“The main fuel of fighter jets. Bombers.”

“We don’t want you here,”

“That mad cow.”

“He buried her twice.”

“This is a non smoking room.”
“Not anymore.”

“Is there a stink to kick up?”

“Your obstructive attitude.”

“I was thrown out of my flat.”
Tags: fearless, mortal instruments, reign
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