epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

Movie Reviews: The Void + Wild Hogs + Turbo

The Void (2016)
Art Hindle is the only name in this inept low budget film. A stupid cop brings an injured man to a hospital that is being closed down. The trailer for this looked awesome. This mumblegore is inept. There is bad acting and it is badly lit. Cultists in white robes lurk. There is bad dialogue and bad direction and rubber monsters.

There is death and rampant stupidity. They learn what they’re really supposed to be afraid of. Who are these people? Entertainment is not a distinct possibility. There is a torture dungeon and a temple to an ancient and nameless evil in the basement that nobody noticed until now.

This is all incoherence, rubber effects and useless women. There is a twist, bad acting and this is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. The point of this cannot ever be known. This was trash.

Best Lines:
“Do you really want to follow him where he’s gone?”

“He’s not dead anymore.”

“It wasn’t a pill house!”

“You’re as crazy as they are.”

~
Wild Hogs (2007)
Men who hate their wives and children go biking. They rant about how women bring them down and ruin their lives. There is gay panic and the gang run across real bikers. Ray Liotta plays a crazy biker who picks a fight. This was lame.

Best Lines:
“Eskimo hooker.”

“My ungrateful wife.”

“I can smell them from here."

“Doug makes kids cry.”

“People get broke.”

“They don’t have no damn cactuses.”

~
Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997)
Hell no.
Tags: movie review, shades of blue
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