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epiphany_maria

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Trailers, Quotes and a 2004 Tape Tale

‘The Remains’ (2016) trailer
A family move into a new house. There are kids in hot pants and a mysterious chest and ghosts. This has to be better than ‘Demonic’. There is a doll’s house, gurning and creepy dolls and doors that open. This looks obvious. Where’s the mommy? Daddy gets an axe and there is yelling.

Best Line:
“Social séances.”

‘Arrow’ season 5 sizzle
Yaoi Fei, Kovar and Quentin meets the Black Siren. There are fights and Merlyn. There is way too much Felicity. Nyssa and Talia face off. Will Tommy even be mentioned? Oliver is inevitably odious. Deathstroke returns.

Best Lines:
“All based on a lie.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Glad you came back.”

Wild Hogs’ (2008) promo
No.

‘A History Of Violence’ (2005) promo
No.

‘Versailles’ promo
No.

‘Hellboy’ trailer
Where did Meyers go? This looks good.

Best Lines:
“In the absence of light, darkness prevails.”

“Running out of lies.”

‘The Rack Pack’ promo
Dodgy wigs and ugly clothes.

‘Outcast’ season 2 promo
No.

Watercress and mint pesto - okay.

‘Black Narcissus’ (1947) was weird. ‘Cliffhanger’ (1993) was okay. ‘The Fountain’ (2006) was weird. ‘A League Of Their Own’ (1992) was okay as was ‘The Titfield Thunderbolt’ (1953). ‘Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery’ (1997) was mediocre. ‘Problem Child’ (1990) was bad. ‘Problem Child 2’ (1991) was worse. ‘Airheads’ (1994) was forgettable.

WTF is custard pasta?

Recall ‘Take The High Road’? Or ‘Werewolf’ or ‘The State’?

Did anyone see ‘Crime Story’?

On ‘Revolution’: where did Jason’s brand from the Monroe Militia go when he was a brainwashed and crazy Patriots Special Ops cadet?

Teen girls loved ‘Flowers in The Attic’ even when all grown up. It was the gothic dark plot. It wasn’t that Corrine didn’t love her children, she did she told herself. But there was a fortune at stake. So she and her mother hid her children away in an unused attic. Just for a little while she told them. But the brutal days swelled into agonising years, all for an inheritance that Corrine didn’t want to share.

The Drs’ Quote:
“Case facts that I understand.”

‘Living The Wildlife’ Quotes:
“Mortality signal.”

“An unnatural end.”

‘The Irish Times’ Quotes:
“Destination items.”

“Trolleys are almost never cleaned.”

“Gang fights in the streets.”

‘3News’ Quote:
“Fight some lads.”

‘The Sunday Times’ Quotes:
“Back-breeding.”

“Nazi super-cow.”

“Hippyish figures of varying degrees of hairiness.”

“Offering glimpses of untold stories that seem infinitely more interesting than the ones we’re told,”

“Rebut means to offer arguments against; refute means to prove wrong,”

“The problem was not the now demoralised staff, but the candidate herself.”

“Her incompetence, hubris and inability to relate to ordinary voters.”

“The original punk hovel.”

“Blockrats.”

“It wasn’t a significant moment.”

“Provider tragedy.”

“He threw rackets, he abused umpires, he got involved in expletive fuelled arguments with the crowd.”

“Thinking the elite couldn’t possibly be someone like her,”

“Frightened to make decisions.”

“Battle kit.”

“Her age and tastes.”

“Made him dangerous enemies.”

‘The Rack Pack’ Quotes:
“My final last chance.”

“Chalks his bell-end.”

“I’ll have to win this just to pay the gas bill.”

“Smell like a winner.”

“Old farts taking it in turns to miss.”

“’Dallas’ with balls.”

“Enjoy watching the process.”

‘Dr Phil’ Quotes:
“Hellstorm.”

“The attitude and accent disappeared.”

“Pain of adjustment.”

“Uncooperativeness.”

~
I cleared out a 2004 tape. It opened with a ‘Smallville’ ep ‘Slumber’ in which Clark dreams and the clex was he and Lex projecting fantasies onto each other and then bring angry when each other didn’t match them. There is WAY too much Lana. There are wilful misunderstandings and this was devoid of any artistic merit. Clark’s self-imposed narrowness and teary sentimentality bores.

Then came a ‘Birds Of Prey’ ep ‘Reunion’. Dina Meyer deserved better. Mia Sara as Harley Quinn never quite works. There is no gushing enthusiasm for this. And this was not deftly satisfying. Huntress is not something credible. Then came another ‘Smallville’ ep ‘Perry’ in which Perry White visits Smallville. The Kents have no moral leverage just paranoia so deep they ruin lives. This was resolutely awful.

Finally there was the final ever ‘Birds Of Prey’ ep ‘Devil’s Eyes’ in which Harley Quinn uses hypnotic powers for her own amusement. Barbara walks. Harley takes over the clock tower. The BOP finally learn that Harley is evil. We are repeatedly and unconvincingly told that the BOP are friends and that Huntress is AWESOME. Black Canary’s spawn bores. Harley has a stupid evil plan. There are no realistic relationships. Barbara’s man candy dies. This was full of palpable awkwardness and relational bullying. This was uninspiring and unstintingly boring. Nobody has self reflection. This flounders under the emptiness of Harley’s ambitions.

~
On ‘Neighbours’: Toadie’s family regard Sonya as an unwanted inconvenience and his adultery as a problem that just happened. Sonya rages at Toadie. Shane’s family show up, he is so diddling his sister-in-law. Toadie has lost the $100,000 and is making no effort to retrieve it. Steph sticks her nose in and Sonya drinks and lies. Toadie and his fixed grimace cannot cope with her vociferous outcry. Shane has dark and devious ways.

On ‘Hollyoaks’: Freddie is gone from the opening credits! YAY! Bart’s body has been misplaced. This is all sparkle and surface but has no moral law. Bart and Cleo somehow can’t smell Bart’s rotting corpse. Amy’s funeral is held. Leah’s thick. Myra puts on full mourning gear for Amy. Did they even know each other? Nick menaces Ellie. Warren chucks Bart’s body into Amy’s grave and somehow this isn’t noticed as her coffin is lowered in. Tony and Harry make Amy’s funeral all about them. Ellie stands up to Nick. Harry causes a scene. Where is Myra’s baby?

Best Line:
“Attention seeker.”
Tags: arrow, birds of prey, flowers in the attic, outcast(us), revolution, smallville, tape tales, thoughts, trailers
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