epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,

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Movie Reviews: Grease 2 + Return Of The Jedi

Grease 2 (1982)
I read the novelisation of this franchise killer, it was better. It is the 60s and English lad (Maxwell Caulfield) is somehow at Rydell High. The high school students look too old, the chorography is bad and the greasers are still the subject of unbrindled fascination. Michelle Pfeiffer, Adrian Zmed, Peter Frechette, Lorna Luft, Didi Conn and Connie Stevens also star. The students carry out exuberant bullying and have creepy sexual politics. This film is a senseless imposition. The T Birds have arrogant defiance and there is no social cost to their sexual harassment and body shaming. The characters annoy with increasing vigour.

The Pink Ladies seem to be the T Birds communal property. Zmed tries way too hard to be cool. The female characters put on silly breathy voices. Motorbike ‘toughs’ ride around and go bowling. There is bad singing of bad songs. A little sister is ignored and abandoned on the street. This was neither funny nor heartfelt. There are smug remarks, an overdone talent show and a luau. Michael seems to have no friends, gets the girl and hangs out with the T Birds despite the fact they tried to kill him. This was noisy, ugly and mean.

Best Lines:
“Virgin alert! Virgin alert!”
“All male periscopes down!”

“I’m sure you have more respect for grass then that.”

“I got a rep to protect.”

“Where does the pollen go?”


“The code does say that we’re T Bird chicks at least til grad.”

Star Wars: Episode VI - Return Of The Jedi (1983)
Yoda dies, Luke learns Leia is his sister and Obi-Wan shows up to be obsequious. The Empire has built ANOTHER Death Star. There is VFX that looks like lego. The Empire wear coal scuttles on their heads. The loathsome Jabba The Hutt is gross. There is no grace or grit. This was not cohesive. It leaves one unmotivated to care. Leia wears her fetish outfit. There are hints of Luke going Dark Side, he doesn’t sadly.

There is a battle on Endor. There is a frog thing Admiral. Luke has emotional anguish. Obi-Wan tells Luke of the grim necessity of killing his dad. This was not brutally intense. The good guys win and their triumph would turn to ashes in ‘Force Awakens’. Han has a lax work ethic, Lando is there and the Special Edition VFX is badly grafted on. Luke never asks about his mother. Why would Darth Vader want his son to be a Sith after what happened to him? Ewoks fight the Empire with logs and rocks.

The Emperor tries to lure Luke to the Dark Side by talking like a creepy sex pest. There is a trap and Darth Vader saves his son. Luke dragging a wounded Darth Vader through the Death Star attracts no notice. Good wins, for now.

Best Lines:
“The last of the Jedi will you be.”

“You like your father are now mine.”

“Young Skywalker will be one of us.”

“The Force is strong in my family.”

“Hidden from your father when you were born.”

“Only together can we turn him to the dark side of the force.”
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