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Number 13
The BBC did a yearly Christmas ghost story in the 70s and the idea was revived in 2005. This weakish ep aired 2006. It is based on a tale by M.R. James. Some historical papers in a cathedral town are obsessed over by an Oxbridge academic. He stays in a local hotel in room 12 and is pompous and demanding. He disregards the lack of a number 13 as provincial superstition.

He faces nocturnal disturbances as his work on the history of a reformation era witchcraft scandal uncovers a disturbing story. Room 13 suddenly appears and will he open the door? All of James’ heroes had odd sexualities and existed in all male communities. He pores over 8th century manuscripts and papers from Cromwell’s era while being up himself. This is an accessible entry point but has rehashed narrative beats. Everyone is mysterious. The academic is steered progressively further off the rails. Nothing is really resolved. The academic commits the grievous sin of being a prat without any justification.

This was done with self-seriousness. The academic is uninspired. The locals are isolated weirdoes. There are no eerie landscapes or claustrophobic interiors. The academic spews melodramatic word salad. There is no complexity or charisma for the academic - he’s personality sapping. He lurks, whispers conspiratorially and shows no emotion and it seems like a character choice. His only job is lurking around. This was a pretty sad excuse for a ghost story. You see a glimmer of something good about to happen toward the end but it doesn’t. This was gloriously nonsensical.

The academic is a great inconvenience and faces gentle reprimands. People have a dated sense of style. This was not even semi-disturbing. It’s all so dark and there are odd noises like a videotape getting chewed up. Something lurks. The quest for truth goes awry. This hasn’t any dramatic or significant point. Nobody has rational conversations; the academic is unable to cope with challenges. He also ignores the fact that protective rules and guidelines are usually there for a reason. The academic gets away largely unscathed.

Best Lines:
“Weak knees.”

“Surely not respectable guests.”

“Have you found anything significant?”

“Popish ornaments.”

“They get quite worked up.”

“Unnatural lights.”

“Rather unpopular Bishop.”

“I’m from Oxford.”

“A grim lot.”

“Not for me.”

“This one to your liking sir?”

“Sleep and work.”

“Much maligned Bishop.”

“The suckling of a giant rat.”

“Devil’s emissary.”

“Large square piece of luggage.”

“What was sealed up in that wall?”

“This is ludicrous”

“Playing tricks on outsiders.”

“He’s a surly fellow.”

“No! You’ll let it out!”

This Little Light
This has no horrific scope, haunting mystery, emotional urgency or bullying brutality. This is not scarily convincing or supremely unsettling or unremittingly dark. Nothing is unexpected or bold. It had no weighty themes. Possessed Megan stares and twitches in ludicrous fashion in this all portentous all the time ep. Kyle and Anderson find Mark dead. Rome is riven by chaos and nobody cares. Hostility seeps out of Kyle. The unkempt Kyle bemoans. Anderson and Kyle are in desperate shape. Kyle plans to lie again which worked out so well last time.

Sidney and Aaron hang out for nefarious ends. Aaron has no excuses or apologies for his profound deviation from moral law. This ep goes in all the wrong bad ways. Drama is caused. Anderson imparts pearls of wisdom. Why is Kyle a talismanic figure? What do the demons want and what do they have planned? I am demotivated and disinclined to care about their oblique sadness. Megan shrieks. I don’t care about the coming bloody eventuality. Kyle’s sick mother has been forgotten as has Donnie. There is a cliffhanger and no answers.

The demons are firmly ensconced. This show started out well but deteriorated into being terrible. Kyle and Anderson are combative and cast moral judgement. Aaron and Sidney get away with their crap. Do the demons plan a social restart? I don’t care. This declined so significantly and nobody faces actual consequences. Amber has Kyle’s gift too. Kyle and Amber make the mistake of stopping for luncbales and this makes one miss the ridiculous and over-long Marlena possessed by satan storyline on ‘Days Of Our Lives’.

Best Lines:
“Who’s gonna believe that?”

“I should never have come out of my house.”

“It’s too late for that.”

“You get on home now.”

“You just don’t learn, do you?”


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