epiphany_maria (epiphany_maria) wrote,
epiphany_maria
epiphany_maria

7 Movie Reviews

The Lego Movie (2014)
This was dubious and poor and full of banal utterances. This is a narrative travesty full of true awfulness. This was tat that rails at various targets. This was a banally plotless and pointless cash-in. I am vexed and perplexed as to why this was made.

Best Lines:
“Good morning floor.”

“Everything is awesome.”

“Drink over-priced coffee.”

“Engage dramatic entrance.”

“Super scary nozzles.”

~
Neighbors aka Bad Neighbours (2014)
Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne have a baby and vile frat boy scum neighbours. This does not gather momentum and has no narrative power. This was vulgar and full of complaining on cue. This had no creative power. This was full of overly serious earnest people who catalogue human despair. This had no gestures of care just frat boys causing a stressful atmosphere. The frat bros do not send signals of co-operation. Men talk and women have inadequate responses. This was vigorously dull and was made with total incompetence. How are the frat boys discourteous attacks funny? Nobody has wisdom and compassion or rational responses, just sociopath deviance by non-learners.

Best Lines:
“Milk me!”

“Tit milk.”

“We have fun and a baby.”

~
The Queen’s Sister: The Shame Of The British Empire (2009)
In the 1950s, Margaret tries to shatter the notions around her. This was not momentous as Margaret has disputes and arguments and she is impudent. She faces a chilly reaction to her acrimonious love for a divorced man. This kills any nuance. I’d little regard for this. People speak with a declarative emotionless speech style. Margaret has resentment and deep consternation at not being allowed to marry the man she loved. She and this were not widely appealing.

Margaret was notoriously useless and faced proper disgusted looks. This was devoid of incident as it tells of the pessimism and futility that was her life. If she’d married her first love and challenged the comfort of her royal life, what would have happened? Instead she loves, marries and alienates Lord Snowdon. And it gets worse from there.

Best Lines:
“First Englishman to shoot down a Nazi.”

“Already made vows to another woman.”

“How do you know she’s the wrong woman?”
“Because she isn’t me.”

“Cannot marry the same man twice.”

“Take some rude pictures of me.”

“Your sister’s the head of the Church of England.”

“Walking away from everything you have.”

“There is one who is above even her.”

~
Muppets Most Wanted (2014)
An unwanted sequel which was rubbish. An evil frog shows up and Kermit has a great deal of doubt. All the charm is gone.

Best Lines:
“That is helpful.”

“The evil frog!”

“Learn heart-warming lessons.”

~
Frozen (2013)
Elsa is bothered by her irritating sister Anna in this Disney animated movie. Everything that goes wrong for Elsa is Anna’s fault and their useless emotionally abusive parents. This was full of bad singing and stupid plot illogic. Anna hurls herself at Hans, Elsa freezes the kingdom thanks to her stupid bimbo sister and there is a comedy reindeer and a dumb sentient snowman. There is twisted reasoning and people do mystifyingly stupid things. This was pretentious and a logistical bind of dumb. This was not a chilling situation.

Best Lines:
“Fear will be your enemy.”

“I didn’t know they did that anymore.”

“Doomed herself.”

~
Love Actually (2003)
No reasonable or rational behaviour in this substantial mistake of a movie.

Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael (1990)
Winona Ryder was scrapping the bottom of the barrel at this point.
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