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7 TV Reviews

The Flash 3x08

Invasion!
The superhero crossover action isn’t so super. Oliver annoys. The logo is nice. Iris will not stop talking. Her tone is always derogatory. Cisco snots and his protracted dispute with Barry drags on. HR bores. Aliens show up. There is conjecture. The Dominators aka the aliens aren’t exactly a big bad. Iris is awful, Oliver growls and Felicity is in full vigour. There is therapeutic lying and the crossover is not a very real or exciting opportunity. Diggle has moral fervour. Thea annoys and how did Felicity contact the Legends?

Supergirl is from Earth38. Nobody comments on HR. Does Superman not exist on Earth1? Felicity bugs. This was not a festive treat. I want rid of Iris, she is trenchantly annoying. Everybody knows Oliver’s secret identity and to think he never intended to tell Tommy. Jerk. Oliver broods and provokes. Ray lurks. Barry learns Snart is dead, nobody cares. Iris needs to go. Wally has perseverance. I have no tolerance for Iris or Felicity.

Future Barry predicted a war due to his actions. Stein neglects his wife some more. Could they tone down Sara’s come ons? Who is this POTUS? This was as substantial as a Bass ad. Cisco has lost confidence in Barry, who does nothing to rectify things. This was not aspirational. Wally wonders, Joe has a fetish for order and this fails to inject any passion. Stein meets his daughter. Cisco is sick of Barry’s lies and messing up.

Diggle doesn’t seem to care baby Sara has been ret-goned. Will Oliver be quiet? Why does Barry need to be placated? This was only okayish. Fake Wells’ secret room shows up. The article from the future has changed. Oliver lets Barry away with his crap. Barry only cares that he won’t get into Iris’ lady garden. There is a fight. Is Slade still alive or what? I detest Iris and felt mostly indifferent to this affray.

Best Lines:
“So darn gloomy.”

“Things just go so much worse.”

“Going all ‘Kill Bill’.”

“Egotistical but catchy.”

“I’ve never done drugs.”

“Friend is a loose term.”

“I’m convinced.”

“He’s like that with everyone.”

“Don’t trust anyone or anything.”

“John had a daughter?”

“That’s a lot of casualties to be remembered for.”

“Acquire that trait. Soon.”

“No one shows us any respect.”

~
Reign 3x17

Intruders
Mary continues to dodge responsibility for her country. It’s impossible to escape the conclusion that this show has jumped the shark. I show no interest in this. A Guise shows up. There is bad acting and exposition dumps. James the regent who is Mary’s bastard half-brother shows up as does an unimpressive John Knox. John Barrowman plays an angry clan chieftain with a comedy Scots accent.

There are modern day hairstyles and a Lord Darnley mention. Season 3 has deteriorated rapidly. Lola has extreme agitation. The word tolerance is used. Lola risibly proclaims things. Catherine can’t fathom failure. The prevailing more is stupidity. False assumptions are held and people yell to no real avail. There is more bad acting and nobody exudes power or passion.

Lola prays, Narcisse dresses like a priest and the unification of Scotland and England is planned though it wouldn’t happen for another generation. Lola rejects emotion or sympathy. There are many discontents. Charles broods. There is a reference to Elisabeth Valois. There is irrational behaviour and dysfunctional, destructive and harmful acts. This had no enormity or gravity. Lola is stupid and there is no empathy or hope. This was awful awful. This has been axed. Season 4 will be the last and will have Darnley and Bothwell but no Bash.

Best Lines:
“You have other sons to install.”

“Risk your life avenging his.”

“Whoring this country to Rome.”

“You drink like women.”

“Legitimate blood claim.”

“You’ve prayed for the end of her rule.”

“They might not look at you so warmly.”

“She will smell espionage.”

“Bastard tongue of my oppressors.”

~
Jessica Jones 1x06&1x07

AKA You’re A Winner!
Kilgrave bores, Jessica is a ghastly person with no finely honed understanding of sense. She holds back affection and can’t find joy. Luke Cage is faux-serious. This has no moments of greater resonance. Hope’s pregnant. Maybe I should be watching ‘Outcast’ instead. Luke Cage is Jessica’s emotional tampon. There is product placement and this did not motivate me to care. Jeri fawns over Pam. What did Luke Cage’s wife hide? Luke Cage yells. Truth emerges and the support group is group discussion by suggestive personalities.

Best Lines:
“I bribed a guard. He was not cheap.”

“I’m pregnant. Still.”

“It’ll be worth the risk.”

“Usually stays missing.”

AKA Top Shelf Perverts
Jessica harasses Wendy. Jessica can’t mitigate her crap. She’s an alcoholic and Kilgrave looms. Someone’s dead. Trish is dim. Robyn whines. Wendy retaliates. Dorothy (Rebecca De Mornay and her bad cosmetic surgery) is Trish’s vile mother. Simpson lies. This was as charming as a cat fart. Kilgrave wears purple and tantrums.

Best Line:
“We use proper etiquette.”

~
Arrow 5x08

Invasion!
This made no sense and had Katie Cassidy and exposition dumps. There were no moral standards or moral journey. That old ‘Star Trek Deep Space Nine’ 2-parter ‘The Search 1&2’ is ripped off. Stately Queen Manor is seen as Oliver, Sara, Ray and Diggle hallucinate. Jamey Sheridan and John Barrowman guest star. Oliver hallucinates he is to marry Laurel and her many many fillers. The Queen parents are alive. Why did Laurel want Oliver the drunken cheating loutish manchild so damn much? Moira has had excessive plastic surgery.

Sara and Laurel bond. Being stuck with Laurel is supposed to be a fantastic incentive for Oliver? Mr Queen is to be mayor. There are visions of Roy and Tommy and a Smoak Technologies building. Oliver has a tacky bathroom. Felicity won’t be quiet and neither will Cisco. There were no measurable performances in this or any serious implications about the arrival of aliens.

Nothing in this ep compelled me to care. Why is Wells never in any crossover eps ever? Oliver’s arse is licked. Oliver hallucinates a jerkass Felicity and Diggle who yell. This was woefully wrong. Laurel does not deserve Oliver’s sacred veneration. Malcolm shows up as a hallucination. Apparently hallucination Tommy is a doctor in Chicago now. An extremely unsubtle ‘Chicago Med’ reference.

Best Lines:
“I know who you are in your bones.”

“There are no good ones.”

“I said I was sorry.”
“In a text.”

“I’ve had enough of this.”

“Over by the ice sculpture.”

“Hack alien tech.”

“Some things you just can’t fix.”

“Rely on yours.”

“Real original.”

“Chicago isn’t exactly next door.”
“I can’t believe he’s a doctor now.”

~
Gotham 2x13

A Dead Man Feels No Cold
Bruce monotones. Cat-teen has no plot. Barnes is grim faced and angry. There is no sign of Ivy or Tabitha. Theo is in a vat in Indian Hills. There are strident words and Nora is sent to Arkham. Victor (Nathan Darrow) exhibits threatening behaviour. Lee bothers people. Strange (BD Wong) is creepy. Penguin gets lurid ‘treatment’. Gordon is a pale character. He is dour and stiff. There are ill-judged remarks, Barbara is comatose, Alfred is remarkably serene and Bruce is not extremely grateful. Alfred accepts Bruce’s crap uncritically. Bullock has less depth then his cartoon version. This was good. Nobody has discretion or wisdom. Strange is a schemer. Victor becomes Mr Freeze in a silly make-over.

Best Lines:
“It’s the answer I’m giving you.”

“A dangerous and possibly endless obsession.”

“Know this woman; nobody yet has failed to regret vexing the Penguin! And you are vexing me!”

“Delightful chap.”

“Indian Hill’s a toxic waste-dump.”
“A useful fiction.”

~
Timeless (2016 - 2018) 1x01

Pilot
An underwired bra can save history! Lucy is a history teacher with a sister and a sick mommy. A stupid 30s reporter shrieks. There is slack jawed staring. Goran Visnjic plays a man who steals a time machine for no clear reason. He stops the Hindenburg crash so he can change history. Lucy pretends to be an anarchist. Matt Frewer guest stars and then isn’t seen again. Lucy is saddled with a coder who whines constantly and a soldier who is a jerk dudebro who doesn’t act kindly or graciously.

The time machine was invented by an Elon Musk like man named Mason who has secrets. The coder whines. Why is the baddie doing this? How did he ever know about the time machine? Luckily Mason has a back up time machine so Lucy and co can track down the baddie and crash the Hindenburg.

Do they have 1937 money? A sign on a shop says:  fresh killed chicken. This was okay if not meaningful. It suits Lucy and co to believe that they were living in the right timeline. The solider annoys. The extravagant hope for this show was not quite fulfilled. People look more and more grim. I’ve no reason or inclination to care. The solider is stupid, the baddie knows Lucy and he has a notebook she will write. The baddie knows things and what is Lucy’s real destiny and why did Mason hire her? The baddie has to be Lucy’s son or something. There is gunfire and the timeline changes. I’ll give this a chance.

Best Lines:
“I’m Nurse Jackie.”

“Glowing clock.”

“Who and what you’re dealing with.”

“Make your own future.”

“He did it. We don’t care.”

“Don’t be noticed.”

“There are no do-overs.”

“Under penalty of treason.”
Tags: arrow, flash, gotham, jessica jones, reign, timeless
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